Putting The Fire Out With Gasoline

I’m a stone that can’t be moved. I’m the lie that silenced the truth. I’m the figment of your imagination making you question your sanity. I’m the reason you gotten rushed to the E.R…. Don’t play with me.

When rough times blew through I stood in the snow with my bare feet. I turned red wine into heat and built a house out of the street.

I never ran from my responsibilities and I made a lot of enemies. My morals are made out of solid gold plus I stuck to the G code.

I’ll take a stand when all you do is criticize while sitting down in a chair built from your own negitivity.

The rain was cold and the front of my boots were shitty from all the ass I’ve kicked. In the past I’ll admit that I was the last person who you wanted to pick a fight with.

Carnage was the degree I mastered in. I cut the umbilical cord from my mother of mayhem. To be reborn into a life of walking in a strait path.

You know honestly I can’t lie. I feel like my transformation is conflicting with my ย patience. Making me feel like maybe I just never changed at all…

Advertisements

“Never Again” My Heart Said (Remastered)

I fell in love with a gypsy and for seven years I loved her dearly. With green eyes that can turn a weak man to stone. I was irrespective of her charm. That’s what I was told.

As a real man I took care of her kids unprejudiced. Even though they weren’t even mine.When the streets would call here I was often left behind.

I really loved my gypsy, maybe more than she’d ever know. When the sun would fall asleep an the moon took its place. I would love her all night from head to toe.

My gypsy! My gypsy! Your soul and mine were one.We took care of each other even when I was on the run.

YOUR HANDS WARM, TOUCHING MY COLD HANDS. THE PERFECT MATCH WE WERE ATTACHED HOLDING HANDS IN THE PARK. DAMN… YOU TOLD ME OUR FUTURES PROPHESIED BY YOUR OWN LIPS AND I BELIEVED YOUR TALK.YOU WERE MY ONE AND ONLY , MY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE IN THE FLESH FOR ME TO WALK INTO AN UNDRESS WITH TATTOO’S ON YOUR CHEST AND ARMS. TEAR DROPS FROM YOUR SOUL REVEALED THAT YOU WERE LIVING A LIE SO I HAD TO LET YOU GO. MY HEART, BROKEN LIKE A PEACE TREATY WHILE YOU BELIEVED IN ME YOU STILL DECEIVED ME. UNFORGIVABLE! YOU TRIED TO PLEASE ME AND YOU SAID YOU NEED ME BUT NOW I MUST GO. THAT WAS SEVEN YEARS OF MY LIFE WASTED LIKE A PRISON SENTENCE WITH NO POSSIBILITY OF PAROLE, BUT I WILL ALWAYS BE IN PAIN BECAUSE THE KIDS GOT HURT THE MOST.A COBRA GYPSY BIT ME AND HER VENOM KILLED ME SLOW. NOW MY HEART WILL NEVER LOVE AGAIN I PROMISE THIS BECAUSE A GYPSY STOLE MY SOUL.

My Poisonous Addiction To A Deadend Love

You hurt me badly and I will never love again. You’ve showed me the definition of how low one human being can be. You’re the reason why I’ll never trust another. A steal beam was shoved through my chest and a rifles bullets pierced my heart. I truly wish I could have started over to when we were just friends. I would have just kept the relationship like that. You murdered your own loyalty with me. I died inside the stomach where the butterflies use to be. I mummified myself in my covers every day. Depression was a the only gift you’ve ever given me. Shot the truth through the back of the head then you suicided after befriending the lies. I swear I wish I never met you… I wish I’d had never seen you at that corner store. I have learned a valuable lesson. Never ever mess with a round the way girl. The poisonous snake that slithered up to me then tightly coyals around me every night. I was bitten and injected with her venom but I was lucky to be immune. However… The only real toxic thing you really owned were all the lies that you told. A black widow so little weaving her web of bad intentions. I was stuck and I couldn’t get out. I had to brake free and run literally and never look back in to the eyes of the she devil.

Magic Tricks and Politics

IM GONE!

No… I’m not here anymore. I can’t stop tears anymore. I’ve cliff dived with no bungie cord into the darkness because this life I couldn’t afford.

IM GONE!

I remember playing in the living room as a child when police kicked in the door. Later bringing pain to my name like a severed spinal cord. Traumatic incidence in my life became so easy to ignore.

IM GONE!

80s baby… I grew up when the heroin prices were cheap and the murder rate was higher than a mountain peak. You can tell by the outside weed smell that I’m trapped and it so real. I was a teenager when a .380 bullet grazed my index finger with steal.

IM GONE!

No one is there for you… The streets became the only option to eat. Your 4th love cheated death in the passenger cars seat. Whisky on my breath and white girl in my system. There was a mean shoot out on the block that night and the next day some of the guys came up missing.

IM GONE!

My mind is now warped from years of war and seeing body’s drop before me. Blood stains remain on my boots reminding me of my old troops that I ran with. What do you do when all your used to is pain, trechery and suffering? What do you do when your defense is the only thing your left with? What the fuck do you do when your constantly faced with life or death situations?

NO YOU CANT TELL THIS MAN SHIT SO IM GONE!

Just Let Me Sleep In Peace

Let me overdose…

There is no better

Feeling to me than

Being closer to death.

I tried reaching for the

Sky and my hands

Shattered in to a

Million syringes filled

With the best option.

Toxic… I know but I love

The feeling. No one

Can hold me better than

You blanketing my pain

With your warm plush sweat

Itchy chain smoking love.

When the people that I

Trusted the most left me

For dead and I know you

Can make me ill

Sometimes I still chase

The first rush you’ve given

Me. Sometimes I need

You so bad. You are

Quickly becoming bad for

My heath and wellbeing.

So if you see my eyes rolling

And my body cold with

A blue color on my lips.

Just leave me for the coroners

And that icy slab of steal.

Draining my body’s liquids

Then donating my internal

Organs. Then now I can

Finally get some eternal sleep

Finally realizing life’s inhumane

Shackles from the oppressed

Background that I was very

Used to. Now I can truly

Have peace. Just Let me

Overdose.

Don’t Miss This 2 For 1 Sale Of A Bipolar Male

Make your move!

Shorty this ain’t checkers or chess come here and tell me how you really feel. I don’t play games… So stop acting like a Xbox one before I use your controller. Pull over for a second and stop texting. Let me bless your ears with this round the way love lecture….

Do you want me or not? Life’s to short to miss this great oppertunity with me. Ohhh you laughing but I don’t see nothing funny honey. See I’m a rare breed with needs that need to be filled like a prescription with the discription of a long term engagement and I’m giving you the opportunity to take it, but be patient…

Good men can come to those who wait for it. When you get it be grateful. Cherish every moment like a deep cut healing with staples. If you let go of it then it will run away from you. Do you want a man like me baby or so you want to keep building sand castles that fell apart so easily…

Don’t get deceived again by these other men you know I’m better than so give me credit when talking to a love veteran. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not being cocky. I’m just trying to feed you this love and passion. I know you like the finer things and I always seem to catch your hazel colored eyes starring my way…..

SO… WUSSUP GIRL!

This piece here is dedicated to my fist love Tanya from Edmondson avenue… Rest in peace my love……

32. Caliber

I was like a big brother or even a cousin to you. I’m sad and angry with rage because you didn’t do what I told you to.

The nickel plated super soaker probably touched many palms. You use to be a guy that was cool and calm.

That day that I leaned on you for making bad decisions. I was the only one that cared and I didn’t want to see you in prison.

You turned into a coal mine that winter. Dark and really cold. Lead paint poison was in you system and made you go around the streets settling beef by life’s divorce.

Mad you were… I know… I raised my voice lecturing you and I told you to go. Do you want to know what hurt the most? That I was not there with you poping out with toast.

These word are dedicated to my little cousin Paris aka lor sin. May your soul rest in peace my homie…

I Didn’t Even Get A Tombstone

Nightmare on elm street. Someone or something ominous possess my dreams night and day. The suspect is a omen of evil that circles my mental physique like a burning hula hoop melting my consciousness disconnecting me from all that is good. I can’t fight it so I invite it to crawl out of the mirror and keep me company satisfing my loneliness and emptiness. It’s very presence makes me stronger and stronger. Immune to all forms of positivity. Grabbing me with its cold clutches as it digs into the back of my neck till it gets in my brain and takes over all of my humanly functions and emotions. I’m now distant and aggravated revolving in and out of two worlds. Is it heaven or hell? Then the vultures swooped down and ate at my dried up corps.

Take A Picture Of My Words And Frame It

Can I keep it real with y’all? I just want to touch the stars. Break down the walls that divide me from my true purpose and cause.

I want to be appreciated for once and never hated. I would like a family created with a lovely like minded lady. Properly educate our babies so a better life can be paved for them.

I would like a day where I literally don’t have to fight for my life. Dodge bullets that fly like bats at night. Find the one that is or isn’t my type and be the one to hold her tight.

I would love…

A day of peace…

A day of relief…

A day with out deceit…

A day where someone really loves me…

A day when the police let be…

A day in the life of me…

A day in the life of she…

A day where I can finally feel free…

Legitimacy…

Free like no restrictions on my way of living…

Free like a love that is mine and will share her sugar with me all the time…

Free like a soup kitchen for malnutritioned figures from a church in my hood that I will not mention…

Free like a peace of mind given with out me asking for permission…

I just want to be anyone but me…

That’s being truely free…

The Ghost Child

As a youth I could remember turning on the tv and seeing some of my family members on America’s most wanted. My life began in a war torn household. My mother and father would go back and forth throwing cut throat curse words at one another. Day by day it had gotten worst and worst. The hardest thing in my life to see was my mother getting paler from stress and watching thick bruses appear on her light skined body. Right then and there I was very young but I knew my life wasn’t going to be fill with green grass and sunny days pasture with white flowers that sang sweet songs. When she left him I was 5 or maybe 6 years old. She took us with here and later on my father got joint custady us. A year later me and my big bro would visit our father only in the weekends And sooner or later I became his punching and beating bag whenever he was in a bad mood. Which was every time me and big bro came to visit. He never layed a finger on big bro. In fact he treated him like a patron saint. I remember going to school one day and walking in to class sad and my teacher Ms. B seen me and asked me if everything was ok and I think she may have spotted one of my bruses and was trying to make sure I was ok. These were times in the early 90s where if you… The child didn’t ask for help know one would rescue you. They would just mind their own business. Anyway I replied to my teacher in a soft voice not looking her in the eyes and said… Yes I’m ok Ms B…. Then in the middle of our class period I asked the teacher could I go to the laboratory. She gave me a paper hall pass and I went to the teachers restroom and locked my self in… My stomach was hurting so bad and later on I found out I had bad stress allcers. I just bursted into tears and cried my young eyes out till lunch time.

TO BE CONTINUED!!

“THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A GHOST CHILD” THE TRUE STORY OF CHRISTOPHER BLAND !

COMING SOON๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ’Š๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ“šโœ’๐ŸŽฑ๐Ÿฃ๐Ÿท๐Ÿบ๐Ÿš”๐Ÿš‘๐Ÿš’๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ’’๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ‘ฎ๐Ÿ’€โœŠ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ‘ซ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ’ผ๐Ÿ‘ฐ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜ฒ I PROMISE YOU THIS!