Smile For Me

Someone today asked me a question that I’ve been hearing my whole life. Why don’t you smile? She was sitting in a chair on the porch with company. I look up at her mean mugging and kept walking.

Why don’t you smile? I’ve been like this since a child. I grew up in a family that was very wild. I never had a chance. Walking around with my fists balled up. The person that was supposed to protect me always beat me withΒ a thick belt or his hands. So tell me how could I trust another woman or man. I’ve had challenges my whole life. Moving from apartment to apartment even some times at night. I never could make friends manifesting my anger within. From the apartments to different schools to different streets I dealt with heat and shady folk wanting to beef. Fist fights, shoot outs in my teenage days. My life could have been lost in a blaze. No matter how much I hurted I never received hospital service. Flash backs from shell shocked bad boulevards and blood stained candle light visuals left on the blocks. Some times it mentally and physically hurt to walk past some spots. Thoughts of close friends whose lives tragically came to a end. Often days and months in and out. I’ve witnessed many deaths and had many tests in life. So over time my experiences became my facial expressions. From jail to jail causing my life to derail. Some days were bad and some worst. There were some good days, Β but just more bad than good. Then I met a women who I thought loved and cared for me. In the very end of some relationships I just would find out there sneaky and immature…. Need I say more…. that wasΒ just the beginning….

Why don’t you ever smile….. Hmmmmn…. I don’t know. Maybe because my portfolio is filled with a horror show…. That never ends… I don’t know…

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45 thoughts on “Smile For Me

  1. I’m so glad you wrote this piece: That might be a start! Never knowπŸ€—
    In terms of muscle count, it takes less muscles to smile in comparison to a frown.
    Try it … in front of a mirrorπŸ˜‰ I know that you can trust you. The rest is not in our control …

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I don’t smile a lot too. Many people say to me “Why don’t you smile in your photos?”. It’s so unnatural to me because you stand in front of the camera, no one makes a joke or funny thing doesn’t happen and they want you to laugh out loud. It’s just stupid. Don’t smile if you don’t want to or don’t have what for to smile. I respect those who don’t smile like clowns all the time!

    Liked by 2 people

    • (I respect those don’t smile like clowns all of the time)!!!

      I love that quote!πŸ‘Œ

      I feel like when people smile at me it’s so fake… there nervous and it shows. I feel the same way though. If you really don’t want to smile then dont. Be true to yourself and not fake to others. It’s like someone asking me or you how was your day. And me or you says to the person… it was good. Know damn well it wasnt. I tell the truth… my day was bullshit.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great writing as you know I’ve come to expect from you but DO try to smile from your soul πŸ™‚ but yes, not a fake smile πŸ™‚ . Those early year days are now behind you now and now you are completely in control of your outlook on life and choosing to see the little glimmers here and there of beauty in life and try to look past all the bs, etc. – like when you see an innocent child swinging on a swing or happily eating an ice cream cone πŸ™‚ – there’s still more good out there than evil – just gotta look harder somedays :)…ok, that’s my Mary Sunshine words of the day πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I’m so glad it’s NOT JUST ME! So many times people, even in my family, ask why I’m not happy. But I really am! Just as much as they are! I just don’t smile, ALL THE TIME! Banks for the post, now i know I’m not forever alone πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey Lil Bro! it’s been a minute. I had to take a break.
    I really love these pictures and I appreciate your insight into why you are the way you are. Your story will bless others who have had a similar path.
    My late mother, who I loved dearly, never really smiled. She had it rough growing up so there really wasn’t much at all to smile about.
    But, that didn’t make her any less of a blessing in the lives of others…as are you πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Happy to see you… thanks for all ya good complements…

      I’m not the type of person to tell others to smile because you never no the pure hell they’ve endured in life.

      And sometimes as a person who doesn’t smile… I don’t even no I’m not smiling some times…

      It’s just stuck like that….

      My whole thing is this… instead of telling someone what you think is best for there lives…

      How about getting to know them first to form a bond….

      But no one wants to do that so quick answers become there first option…

      Sometimes we just need a friend that we can talk to and trust…

      Liked by 1 person

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