Finding A Way To Calm The fury With In

I’m still trying to recover…

Im still trying to get right…

I’m still falling.

Trying to grab a hold of the new ages.

A unfinished prototype of a man with no feeling and no compassion trying to transition to a normal future! Interactional and compatible rearranging my thoughts into love and not flames.                                                          I won’t go to far. Medicating between Wellbutrin and Bupropion. Sertraline to walk the type rope to hope. Please don’t fall… Hoping to God when I’m in public that know one bumps into me or look me in my eyes a certain way.                                    They say I’m fucked up… Seroquel won’t even put me to sleep. My mind skips a beat sometimes when I hear old songs. Triggering flash backs of a savage nostalgia.                                                             A child that knew no real punishment untill I met the true devil.

I don’t go far… No mirrors, pictures or clippers to shape my life up. Cutting off the ties of the guys that I once looked up to as a child.                                                 Now all dead and gone or getting high somewhere strung out creeping through the back Windows stealing only to satisfy there drug apitites.                            Some of them are doing maximum time behind the iron bars or on death row awaiting to die slow.

Can someone tell me the reason for a prison sentence of life plus 75 years? Do you have to die twice in order to come home and see your kids?

This is the prototype of a man Trying to transition.


29 thoughts on “Finding A Way To Calm The fury With In

  1. Turning back: hope it is possible! When you have insight into your own weaknesses, your strengths, and done penance for whatever the misdeeds- then definitely some relief should be possible.
    Society makes it hard for you to back to normality.
    Please persevere: better late than never!
    For sleep, try meditation, Not medications … avoid scary thoughts and side-effects.
    Simple yoga (no materials) will get you what you seek. Wishing the best for your journey out towards simplicity.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. One day at a time is right. The people that you will touch and reach is infinite, when you save yourself first. I know this because we are one and the same even though we are different. I have had a path that lead me down the same roads, just different circumstances, different people, the same story. Kindred spirits.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I always love the post that expresses human emotions and thouhgts regardless what kind of they are .. it seems like you are a Wise man who try to find out himself .. Enjoy your journey and please do keep blogging 🙏 🎈 it make me feel that i am not alone in this world and community 😊😇 best ,

    Liked by 1 person

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