“Dedicated to little X and Lee… You two will never ever be forgotten…”
Some people think they’re helping when they are hurting.
Some people think they’re changing yet there worsening.
Some people will say they’re there for you no matter what.
When you need them all you will see is there butt.
They turn an I earning the title of a fool.
So when I leave first I’m considered crude.
Sometimes I feel like fuck it all.
Stuck in life while my stress turns me fucking bald.
Excuse me, can I barrow your life for a minute?
No you may not you low level dirty nigger!
Even if i did you’d be dead!
Before your life time prison sentence!
I fight the fracture in my heart that will fracture more.
Remain poor yet I really need a cure.
A remedy for a reminder helping to remember that I’m just tired.
I need not a therapist or a bible!
I need not a lier or a trier!
Teary eyed, eye ducks quack where I’m from.
When a child asks me can he pump my gas.
I remember giving him my last.
I remember feeling that.
In his mental state he might not last.
I’ve been were he’s been
Pumping my kidneys with cheap whisky and Gin.
I tryed to give him.
Hope.
At the sametime I no it wont work.
When his moms on dope.
So I feel like I lied to him.
Some days later he was shot to death.
They say his eyes were open with a smile on his face
That could have been me
The, then me….
I know he was smiling for there was know more cryin.
About the things he had to robbed for.
Some things he had to do behind closed doors.
I was never in his shoes.
If that were me.
That was talking to.
I’d tell me too…
“Get the fuck out the car!”
“This ah fucking jack move!”
Everything around me was tax free.
Hell!
I taxed drug dealers and thieves.
I made my own lanes open to eat.
No job would ever, has ever hired me.
Not because I’m lazy, or I have had a crazy look of.
Outta facial placement.
By the time I was fifteen.
I had three felonys.
True story.
Back ground checked.
To have my…
first smile…
To know a honest check.
I heard the words I’ve been hearing my whole life.
“Sir!”
“We will get back to you next week!”
A month past….
I had very little to eat…
So me and my then girl friend.
“may her soul rest in peace!”
Started going drug dealing.
Sometime robbing sprees.
The only hope I had was…
To do shit that made me a slave.
I lost my best friend in a bad dice game.
He took shot gun to the face.
I faced hard ships…
Many!
Thinking to myself…
I won’t make it from here…
You can tell because you may care…
But!
My caring just ain’t here.
My ears can’t hear.
About…
You know how I feel.
I’m sorry…
Can you just shut up…
Please let me live…
Sometimes, instead of suggesting what I should or need to do…
How bout you!
Just tell me genuinely you love me.
And you will always be hear.
Till then…
Let me die with a smile and open eyes……..
(attention! in no way shape or form is this a suicidal note. Thank you and have a great day my peps!👍😎)
Reality Is The New Negativity Vol.1 
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