Smelling Salts

Just give me a dose

So I don’t overdose

Forget it

Let me comatose

Crochet my fingers into a rope

Mind locked its self behind the door

So how can I get out

Let me win

I’m stuck

Throw the sheets over my only motive to live

Give me a dose

So I don’t overdose

The mind says overdose instead

Hands shake when

I pick up things

Even a cup to drink

Fabrics drenched in Arabic coffee

Warm

Opposed to hot like I wanted it

I left it sitting on my table for to long

Eyes like rockets fuel burning

Under smoke

Trying to get a taste of a second hand

Slapped away

I don’t want your created pavement

To curl up on anyway

Give me a soft couch Cigarette in my mouth

Comfortable

And a small dose

So I don’t overdose

Stopped searching for the lost lists of me

Indeed I be the unholy

I know it

Sometimes to bold to be told

I have only days to live

Without cancer

I’m the cancer and a council

Of councillors in my surroundings

Funny how I can be a councillor yet, I can’t council me

Can’t nobody

I can’t use myself to cure

What I am

Or nobody

Placad at my face values like valumes

Antipsychotics

Together

Then face my low values

Phrase it to graze on my

Pains immortality

I battle with everything, anybody

People just don’t understand

You couldn’t ever understand a person like

Us

So stop

Persons like me just need

You to not

Just be there to hold

The mental and grow

Pleaded no sympathy

Fractures the light that once to glow

Just listen to me

Whenever I ever

Need the me time to wait for our time

Speak in a small dose

Because to be honest

I’d rather just overdose

Then to be told

I will be ok

Just give me a small dose of

Being there

Subs

Overwhelming

To many hands

On

Me

Life is abusive

Intruding on my

Reclusiveness

Introverted

Designer mind

Maxing out on

Antidepressants

Storing

Opening

Closings

Like if a brain

Was a purse

Am I a person

The darkness has no curfew

Inside my

Statistics

Life just ain’t what it use to be

Or maybe

I’m not use to

This new life

For me

Evasive to open arms

Gambled on backstabbers

Or if they are not

“We all”

Isn’t the genre I’m apart

Of

I had my hand down in class

Whenever life’s teachings asked

Us

“What do you want now”

I thought I knew

What exactly I wanted then

If I knew then

The horrible things humans

Mentally

Can do now

What I know now

I would have barricaded my

myself

my emotions

Behind my enemies lines

Your the one who caused my

Problems

Then the blame game

Ensued

Leftovers of me

I’m the one who will fix this

Over

Over

First dance will be fire

Then on crushed glass

Befriended hot coals

Then I

Walked over I always Notice

Know one at the end

Of my path

As I got closer

The people

Those loving

Abled bodies

You know

Those who’s

Told

Over

Over and again

“I’m hear”

Where noticed visine

Clear

Know one there

So I know where

Stand

Where know one

Is

I never expect

Anyone to know

Where my

New

Know

Where

Is

Where I bear my

Own oxygen

My own air

Ya

Im right there

Hiatus Paralysis

These words are…

Only for the brains consumption…

A small creators mistake…

Mistaken…

Lies…

For truth…

Having no true value…

Like a house with no…

Cealings in the middle of…

Harricain season…

I seasoned the broth…

Surrounding that hot boiling pot…

I never fold under pressure…

So I wear a rain coat…

Coated in the flesh of my problems…

I got wet…

Its like I met my words…

Parents…

For the first time…

At the same damn time…

I brought pain to fruit flies in training…

Medications…

Meditation…

My words had a bench warrent…

The pages served it…

I’m only hear because I deserve it…

A waisted mind is the only crime…

My lines won’t die unless I…

Become another why That killed them…

No can’t or can nots…

I folded them Into a barrito…

I ate them in colors…

I ate them…

Because I’m not like no other

By the way…

Where the hell are my truck keys?

I hope I can stay here… If not… Fuck it…

Knock knock!

Then the call to me after…

“They said they want to talk to you…”

For what…

“Some bullshit…”

I laughed a these fisher men…

With badges on chains…

I’ve moved away…

An changed…

Still I remain…

The bad man in discussions…

Nothing matter when you’ve…

Been down this body slammed road…

Situations common like this…

I can’t even blink my eyes without…

Being pulled over an frisk…

Stopped on the street…

“You fit the description of…”

Let me guess…

A robbery…

Suspect…

Guns to my face…

Then released without even a…

“Sorry!”

Maybe I’m just in the wrong skin…

Or maybe it’s just a coincidence…

All I know is I’m use to my rights…

Being abused…

A grown ass man on time out…

That’s there plan…

The American dream…

When I can…

I’m getting a passport…

And getting the helll…

Out of this lemonade stand…

When life handz me that lemon…

Bye bye uncle Sam….

Baltimore City Homes

Guess where I’m from…

Cold like Goldie pimps and police… I morn over the men and women I grew up with… Even the paroles, please give me time to breathe, while I bleed… Out… On the street… Blood thickness glazed over where the children play over… It… Kick starts into Pre-kindergarten… In the picture was a deadly grim scene behind me… Like the president behind the podium… Corruption… Trying to get by under poverty so I… Robbed, stolen and sold like how the country was formed… What was mine today… Only time and God can say when it’s my time… So, while I live on… In this snow storm of fire… Im design for hellish climate… My life means nothing yet… I will surely stand up for progress… Nothing provided… Prisoners with in a project lab rat shit… Are in the city making noise like a helicopter crash, clash of insanity from my past… Creeping up on my future fuck it…. Lets go out and play in bullet rain… Aim, pull it, aim… Is the forecast for today… Showers propel back until a quiet silence… Till someone falls, no spring ups… Summer into winters dinner has none….

Mississippi River

What can I do…

When the feeling is so mutual…

I see you…

Ducking and hiding…

Don’t blame me for not noticing…

Just noticing you

Apologetic…

Heavey magnetic…

Inner drawing…

The energy…

Energetic…

Holding a bright catalog…

Like listening…

Hearing pipes sing like…

Old apartment heaters…

Tink tink tink…

Description is some skin…

You only see in the Amazon…

Tribal eye balls…

Might cause a…

Fire disired…

The pressure in my legs up…

I’m getting hot…

I need a check up…

Check me out…

I’ve walked through a…

Brick wall…

Looking at the body of…

Thick sliced spring water…

Signals in my mind jammed…

Like you through a chaff grenade…

Damn your so beautiful…

In your body is a outrage…

In a salad,dressing bowl of…

Fresh everything…

Even miles…

Uneven…

Eventually smiles…

For one reason…

Eye contact…

Tying your last tie

“I just can’t stop”

“So many tears”

“I literally haven’t cryed this much in years”

“Tears so thick”

“Tears so fucking thick”

“Pardon my language”

“My eyes welled over into trees”

You’ll never no how much you ment to me…

Your father is…

My brother….

Fuck…

Pardon my language….

I’d die 1,000,000,000 ties….

For you to take my place…

I don’t know…

All I can remember right now is…

When you were born…

I haven’t cried so hard in years…

I feel like mother earth…

I feel like “Emit Till…

I feel like “Malcolm X”

I feel like…

Fighting for all that is left….

Negro wake up…

But I know I am…

All that matters…

To me brother…

Is us…

My family…

My lasts…

My firsts…

Your child has past…

He won’t come back…

I don’t know how to feel…

So I’ll just let my tears…

Roll back in my head…

He’s on level…

Place up now…

My neff…

Stronger then I ever was….

Your birthday is two weeks from now….

My smile has burned its self down…

I’m hurting…

So bad…

If my tears could talk…

Fuck it…

They Would be¬†bleeding instead…

It’s all in my fucking head…

Pardon my language…

Pardon…

My grammer….

Pardon the things I can’t and won’t fix…

Literally….

My ashy¬†hands are two damaged….

This one is real personal…

Yet, I have to share it….

Get it off myself…

Crashing trying to take off my seat belt…

If I didn’t…

Post…

Anything…

Fuck it…

Pardon my language…

“To my god son Carlos jr, aka Jr”

“I will forever miss you shorrty”

“I’ll miss you”

“I love you boy”

“I’ll see you when I get there”

Cinder Block

Give me some groceries!

 

I’ll put them on my shoulders…

Only….

If there’s to many for you to hold up…

 

Antifreeze…

Frozen or frostbitten…

I love being the solver…

Problems are a force that…

Never loosens its grip…

 

Tough….

Bricks don’t break…

They just get chipped away…

 

 

 

Mean to outsiders…

With a heart bigger then Fenway Park…

 

 

Mocha blend on a honey stick…

No concrete roses…

Just sky dwelling…

 

Picking the only rose…

Growing out of a black cloud…

 

Down…

I know…

Trying to look like your on uppers…

Deep within you…

You only…

Want a equal spirit to love you…

Trust is hard to gain these days…

 

I won’t go off topic…

In category five hurricanes…

I will still hold you down…

Just stay down…

With me…

 

Then watch as we…

Us…

Come up…

Like them two towers…

Producing mind food like a…

Feeeeeeed!!

Uppppp!!!

Chow lines…

No GMO’s…

No G.I. Joe’s…

 

Lines blessed like those old…

70s with no cut…

 

Defrosting……….

 

 

As I Sleep… In Anothers Dream…

Cold here…

 

My bed lay within your crainium…

Lock cracked open…

Things…

 

Things inside of you…

Somewhere that you never speak…

Of…

You can never denie it’s there….

 

What I b’s is…

The slithering into your…

Unseen that I see..

 

Special needs…

 

Paralysis…

Venomous…

From my…

 

Tongue…

 

The ruler over your tonsils…

The leader…

Of the heat…

 

That tingles in…

 

Swirving over the outer spine…

Goose bumps…

Like a relatable song liked

 

I am bad for your healthcare like…

Swine…

 

It is now the time…

For the dream to end…

As you awaken on a wet bed sheet..

Falls…

 

Mattress…

Detached…

From what’s a bubble…

Or is it a…

 

Life in reality…

What’s fake…

Or just how it should be…

Blessed…

 

Where is the rest…

Of sins…

Of the…

 

Flesh…

That thou shalt not….