“They think they know”

They dooo…
They think
they doooo…

You don’t listen
You compare.
You brush me off
Like you don’t care.
Clarify this shit…
As My diagnosis
rolls up off anothers
Tongues…

like
Water off a leaf
That’s weak…

Let me make it
Clear to those
Who won’t and
Don’t understand
That the issue
Can’t be compared
To you self
Diagnosis of me
Or yourself.

Boxed in a
A box in corner…
Small walls
I can’t peak over
Them.
With out…
I dare you to
speak… Making
Me more lonely…

“OH just do some breathing techniques and exercise. “

Ok that’s fine!
but It only
Last for a little
while!
You wonder why!
I Don’t smile!
I just
Need a stronger
Dose im on
Enough meds
To take a bull
Down!

Make me bitter
At all repetitive
remarks!

You!
Don’t!
Know!
Me!

Let me tell you
How it feels to
Be me!

Relationships/can’t
Going out in public/won’t
Being surrounded by
new people your
Friend knows/ I don’t think so…

I can socialize
to an extent.
If I say something
Out of order…..
To the huddle…
You may or may
Not hear me
keep apologizing……..

So my isolated
My inner and outer
Being…….

These issues with
in me.

Can only be exposed
If you know me….
Or sometimes not
I just feel…
Real tire…
So good night…

O ya…
I forgot…

Most times group
With a bunch of
Me’s and yous can…
Maybe even a hand
Full can understand me…

Only!

My mind
Is…

Mostly out of
Order………

I never asked for
A pity party ………

To Sock a Cucumbers


Life is a scrimmage
Getting ready to pull
Out….

pop! pop! pop!
Tendencies!

Non stop!

How to shoot
Then lay low from!

Your brutality!

Like hiding a stain
On gradma couch…

You cant!

You know
She going to
Find it!

As you do!

The word already
Got out!

For the law to
Come get you!

You better hope
They find you…

Before the streets
Do!

Your shoes
In the dumpster…

What did your
feet do!

Your crew is
a qazine
Best served
With
Info…

Ya…

Your real
thorough…

So you stand on
Your ten
toes comfortable!

Remember
You will always
Reap!

The sewing
Machines of
Other Dumbfounders
Like you!

Found when!

Family can’t
Guide you
Or hide you!

You’ve
Broken the very
Definition of…

what
It means to
be a real gangster…

For one…

Family always
Comes first!

You run to help
Your community
To breath!

Those in need!

Don’t take from
Someone doing
Just as bad as
you!

If you going
To do it…

Steal from
The system’s
Branch corporate
theives!

Ain’t no honors
Amongst black
theives!

Any theives!

Come together like
Gum under your
shoes…

You broken the
Rules…

Roc a bye baby…

There was no soon
For you…

Salt and Mud

You left me stranded

So I drowned in
Gun fire, Jack Daniels
And 40oz”s

Drama, flying saucers
Bullets lost in
brick walls

Lodged

In house furniture
Sold out slugs

Copper tops tree top
Pirus

Cookie cutters

My Dimu called
Them bookie
Butters

Like he
Had a speech
Impediment

Thats just Blood
edicate

Raised hell
A bit

To intelligent

In a cell a bit

Letters never
Sent never
Touched

like
They were
Celabate

You
Never sent
A letter back

The child
That was once
Beaten blue

Brused for
For nothing

By you

Clutching a belt
Shaped as a “U”

Ungrateful
And unfaithful like
Samson

So

I stay absent

Like you

Birddy Canary

I feel like

Silence is

The answer

To a mathematical

Problem

The equation

Space

To make

A novel

Praised

For the

Use to

Silence-err

Couldn’t see

What I mean

With a monical

You couldn’t

Feel my Words

With a key

To catch

Up with

the day

Locked

Out of

Thankfulls

And thank

you’s

Your own

Answer

Or is it

Protection

For what’s

To come

A mediphor

Unpluged

Giving you

The truth

In the

Feeling

Of what

Is why

I go by

And go

Through

As a silencer

No fake

Smiles

To pardon

You

From death

Till only

I am left

Attached

Mentalities relapsed+


Bloody scars that painted my
Knuckle+

War paint
Cuddles my face
I’m black and I’m
Proud+

From the
Feet to the root canal+


A tramatic opposite+


I linger in blank expression+


Eyes wide open+

without
No type of emotions+


Poker face here+

Not bluffing+

No room for let downs or
believing in something+

my
Own mental distruction+


Nothing+

It’s nothing+


Living in hell I’m use to the most, beautiful, rotton+

Sweet sorrows+

I Embraced
The reason its not to be chased+


The heathen+

Smile For Me

Someone today
asked me…
Asked me a
question that…
I’ve been hearing
my whole life…
Why don’t I ever
smile…?
This person
was sitting
in a chair on there
porch…
with there
company…
I looked up at
that person…
There company…
With my face
Already Spoken…
For its self…
I just kept
walking…
How rude is that…?

Why don’t I smile…?
I’ve been like this
since I was child…
I grew
up in a family that
was very wild….
Verry… wild…
I never had a chance…
Walking around
with my fists balled
up…
The person that
was supposed to
Be my protector…
A Rejector…
Always
beat me…
With a
thick black
belt…
He gave it a
Name…
I think it was
Mr bass…?
Sometimes he used his bare hands…
So ask me…
Tell me how could
Or why I should trust
another woman
or man…
Hopelessly scared…

No doubt, I’ve had
Many challenges my
whole life…
Moving
from apartment to
apartment…
House to house…
Even in the middle of the night…
I couldn’t
make friends…
manifesting my anger…
Within…

Golden rules in…
Different schools…
Into different
streets…
I dealt with heat…
Some shady folk that
wanted to beef…
A Fist fights delight…
Shoot outs…
In…
My youthfulness…
Daysss…
My life could
have been lost
in a blaze….

No matter how much
I hurted, ached…
I never received
hospital service…
Flash backs
from shell rocks
boulevards…
Blood stained candles
Lit…
Candle light visuals
left on the corners…

Some
times…
It mentally…
Physically…
Hurts to
walk past some
spots…
Thoughts of old
friends…
There lives
tragically stolen…
came to a closing…
Days
and months…
In and
out…
I’ve witnessed
The many deaths…
Had many tests…
Overtime
my…
Experiences
became my
facial expressions…

From
jail to jail…
Causing
my lifestyle
to derail….
Somedays…
Bad…
Horrible…
Worst-cases…
Don’t get me blue…
There were some
good days…
Just
more bad than
good…
The hood……
Magnified my
Expressions…
For good…

Pain Killers

I died today…
Rest in peace…
So sad my life
ended like it started.
Addiction…
I couldn’t shake
it so I dissolved
in my own bag
of brown sugar.
The pain it wouldn’t
stop, the flames
were very hot and
I’ve stained the
minds of lots,
but only after death.
No pot to piss
in so I stole yours.
Bewildered…
Kicking in door
after door only
to find more
problems on
the other side.
Your irresponsible
lectures turned me
out. Making me
heartless.
This is evidence
that supports
and confirms
my statements.
I laid on her
stomach at
night rubbing
my fingers on
her cesarean
scars and she
took her
pocket knife
that was already
stained with
her past lovers
blood and
stabbed me
in the back
and twisted
the blade
until it broken
in my flesh
to create
more pain.
I didn’t die
from that.
I died because
I loved for
one second to
many and
turned my back.
That was
the first time
my tears created
acid that
dropped in my
hands and burned
away the calluses.
I am so glad to
be dead.

BECAUSE I’M DYING INSIDE

Whats more
valuable than
money… Your
soul is the
answer…

Well in my
opinion. Whats
your true
worth?

Do you
know? Nope…
I don’t think you
do.

Before you
go to bed..
Well…
when you
finally do…

Do
you pray for
forgiveness?
Do you pray
for your family?

Do you have
family to pray
for?

Do you
sleep well? Do
you sleep at
all?

Do you!?

When you
wake
up…

Do you
thank the
almighty…

That you can
breathe today…
Also that you
have…

Another
chance to make
a change…

maybe you just
don’t even care…

Maybe when
the sun shines
through the
window…

On the
dark side of
your empty bed…

you realize that
your alone…

There is no one
there beside you.
Your mind
changes like a
on and off
switch…

Don’t it!
Should you
care or not…

Right…
Do people in
your life really
care about you…
Or are they just
using you…

I
don’t know…
Do people in
your life even
understand that

you’re one of a
kind and there
is know one on
the planet like
you?

THEY DON’T!
Be yourself
because being
different is
being
beautiful

A STATE IN FLAMES

Inhale…

Exhale…

Inhale…

Exhale…

Inhale…

Exhale…

Tears of joy…
To know that
mother’s second
born. Made it
another day
In the city of
Death…
Destruction…
Fire that
Had surrounded.

The smell of eggs,
toast and Turkey bacon
frying. Trying to
overcome the
loud music booming.
Out the cars…
As they pass by
the filled up apartments.

Nostalgic peaked in
hearing van doors slide
back. Opening fast back broken glass apps. The shell casings
Tapping the concrete.

Listen as my heart
beats faster like, a crack fiend taking his first blast.
Them crack pipe in trash..

I’m alive another day!
To open my eyes.. l made it!
This city of… lmmortal mayhem throughout my Raybands…

I slide on my slide on’s
Like slippers…
Brush my teeth…
It’s cold outside,
so much heat.

I open the front door.
Walk to the corner
store. Get my
morning brew plus
Cheap whiskey like
Drinking out of a
Boot. Dirty…..

I’m a word called bewildered..
By the slow police car
creeping past me trying
To make me a victims.
Drivers stone gaze
eyes watching me.

My every move!
I bop down the
dried bloody graffiti
on the side walk.

It made me think of..
The wild gun fight tragedy
That took place last
Last week. Claiming
yet another casualty..
These streets hold no
Punches..

By the way… his
casket was closed
his family.. close associates.. weeping! Crows above
Stalking…
I walked away from
The dark pit.

Down the block past
Traveling past the
drug spot.

The blind
open air sales and
Customers… Come
On down!
Made sweat cascades
down my cheek.
I don’t want to
catch a cold from a
“AK 47”
botched robberys
takes place in front
of me. I ain’t seen shit!

I said Wazup! up!
To the guys and ladies.
Everybody I dapped up.

Never knowing… Greedy
politicians… Police
brutality is a trending
topic… I hear the old
Heads on the block…
Constantly gossiping…

The lead in our drinking
water… The schools
where our sons and
daughters go…

Closing…
They aren’t giving
Good supporting jobs..
One with decent wages
So how do we survive?

Teenage pregnancy weekly..
Welfare… food stamps
used frequently..
As the day comes to a
end… As well…
I leave my home boy’s
In the alley with a
half a pint of Jack…

I’m taking my ass
Home! I say my peace, dueces and goodbyes. I know
seven out of ten of them
Might not make it past
10 o’clock. I went up the
Stairs to the house.

Took my keys out..
Opened up the front door.
No ones home.
The door locks broken nothing
Stolen.. maybe they broken
Into the wrong house..

Tired I laying on the floor,
I didn’t even get
Upset.
I’m good.

I know that whoever will be.
God is good. The
Lives of other are.
So misunderstood.. Crime in order to survive. I blink my eyes then go I’m asleep drooling!

Inhale…
Exhale…
Inhale…
Exhale…