“They think they know”

They dooo…
They think
they doooo…

You don’t listen
You compare.
You brush me off
Like you don’t care.
Clarify this shit…
As My diagnosis
rolls up off anothers
Tongues…

like
Water off a leaf
That’s weak…

Let me make it
Clear to those
Who won’t and
Don’t understand
That the issue
Can’t be compared
To you self
Diagnosis of me
Or yourself.

Boxed in a
A box in corner…
Small walls
I can’t peak over
Them.
With out…
I dare you to
speak… Making
Me more lonely…

“OH just do some breathing techniques and exercise. “

Ok that’s fine!
but It only
Last for a little
while!
You wonder why!
I Don’t smile!
I just
Need a stronger
Dose im on
Enough meds
To take a bull
Down!

Make me bitter
At all repetitive
remarks!

You!
Don’t!
Know!
Me!

Let me tell you
How it feels to
Be me!

Relationships/can’t
Going out in public/won’t
Being surrounded by
new people your
Friend knows/ I don’t think so…

I can socialize
to an extent.
If I say something
Out of order…..
To the huddle…
You may or may
Not hear me
keep apologizing……..

So my isolated
My inner and outer
Being…….

These issues with
in me.

Can only be exposed
If you know me….
Or sometimes not
I just feel…
Real tire…
So good night…

O ya…
I forgot…

Most times group
With a bunch of
Me’s and yous can…
Maybe even a hand
Full can understand me…

Only!

My mind
Is…

Mostly out of
Order………

I never asked for
A pity party ………

Salt and Mud

You left me stranded

So I drowned in
Gun fire, Jack Daniels
And 40oz”s

Drama, flying saucers
Bullets lost in
brick walls

Lodged

In house furniture
Sold out slugs

Copper tops tree top
Pirus

Cookie cutters

My Dimu called
Them bookie
Butters

Like he
Had a speech
Impediment

Thats just Blood
edicate

Raised hell
A bit

To intelligent

In a cell a bit

Letters never
Sent never
Touched

like
They were
Celabate

You
Never sent
A letter back

The child
That was once
Beaten blue

Brused for
For nothing

By you

Clutching a belt
Shaped as a “U”

Ungrateful
And unfaithful like
Samson

So

I stay absent

Like you

Certified On All Sides Bitch

Till I D.I.E WEST SIDE fuxk those opinions There’s been a opioid Epidemic In the city’s,

Were my people Resigned aside Gentrification But when our Bodies drop We never even got mentioned, T

hey didn’t give A fuck,

No news, No propaganda Ask yourself this,

What black person You know own a Port with ships,

why When a collage Kid comes to The ghetto with His friends to get a hit, They get let go When cought With contraband,

We go to jail Bail revoked, nine postponed Trial dates, Fuck America Y’all made us This way And fuck you Coons,

Dancing for master Racism and Lynching still, Exist, but to Most it don’t even matter,

the world Rather focus On pro nouns And space Travel, Iphones and Shit, I’m pissed, to be frank I’m tired I can wait, Till this world is Purificate,

Burns All of there Ancestors sins away A blood line condemned Did, Fuck you, Fuck you If America was Litteraly The last pussy On earth,

I still wouldn’t Fuck you, You fucking Fools, Listen, His a history Lesson, For you disrespectful, Bitchs,

My ancestors Came from Africa, So what does That make me, How can I be Anti-Semitic When The Semitic one is me, What number Never changes in Shape,

The number 8, Fuck Instagram, To Those private Prisons the provide my niggaz to live in, funded By you company leaders, Facts!

Where The Grown leaks

Boyyy!

It’s some secrets in that
Grass filled nut cluster.
Only place in the City
With those many agonising.
Fuss over those plasma gases,
Erupting. The remaining broken
dreams. I’m sorry……….

For all those secrets to
Whom I was a major resident…
Of…

Seen more and, more broken
Dreams piled up in my memories…
I’m sorry…

I’m sorry that I had no compassion.
Iron wounds room, rounds, half fumigated.
can still smell the faces. The secrets…
Dribbled to dabbled.
From some grapes to raisins….

From Billboards new state
where some secrets were staged..
Loved ones missing days.
Months of sleep.

Imagine how that hard dirt felt
Keep secrets yet… Only
Those of them became worthy. the grounds creepier states… Of mind…

No capability, lack there
Of Santa’s gifts.
So many secrets
Sooooo so many secrets
That those dirty dandelions
Wanted to tell…

Even if those ugly weeds
could…

They’d become a secret to…
One of a promised action
Without the need for
Currency.

Sooo many secrets in my
Dreams!  They’ll Rome forever.
I’m good at keeping
Our giant show time secrets
for you….

No matter what…

Vanished!

They Gone Go

You can
have the
best dick
in the universe!
You can
have the
greatest
pussy of
all times!

You can
be honest,
loyal!
You can
give all
your love,
give the
Perfect
Balance
Of affection!
You can
be rich,
wealthy,
all of thee
Above!

Helll! You
can be a
Fuxking
famous
star!

You could
have done
whatever
they wanted
Gave whatever
They desired
Or thought
They deserved!

If they
gone
cheat on
you!
They Gone
cheat on
you!
It’s nothing
you can do………….
Don’t try
to fix it
coz it wasn’t
you!

Fuxk the
excuses,
Those
narcissistic
Point of
Views………….

The blaming,
Finger wagging,
The misery
They put you
Through…

There
misbehaving!
All The
moral
indecency
Projected
On to you!

Cheating on
someone….
is…..
A selfish
thing that
causes a
Traumatic
Feeling,
trust issues,
it’s mentality
abusive…
It can get
Physical….
If they
can cheat
on you once
Then they
will damn
sure
cheat on
you again………….

“NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS!
ITS NOT YOUR FAULT AT ALL
WHY THEY DID IT!!!”

Male/female.. Whatever the fuxk you young mah fuxkaz identify as or go by.

Devouring The Devoted

A
subtle
thought
Apart
from
who
You
see
I
don’t
rain
on
Parades
I
leave
A
chemical
of
Aromas
built
By
Chilled
atoms
To
A
Tantric
mental
Catching
Your
Mind
like
Fly
paper
It
never
goes
Away
Pheromones
Special
guest
Hitting
the
nasal
Inhaled
turning
Eyes
from
black
To
hazel
Now
you
are
trapped
In
my
rum
drunken
Legs
Drunk
Waking
you
up
Like
America
running
On
Duncan
Morning
Hot
Coffee
Donuts
I’m
like
shoes
that
fit
You
just
right
I’ll
wear
You
on
me
like
a
balaclava
eyes
hold
Fire
before
I
run
In
your
bank
To
Withdraw
From
Sticking
Up
Blushing
Comet
Orgasmic
Lips
To
Kiss

Oh Catastrophic

“Oh Catastrophic”

“Like us !”

Don’t dress how we use to.
Don’t keep our self up like we use to.
Don’t do things like we use to.

This is beyond depression…
Inside spirit a hollow oak tree…
Bound to a ships…
Anchor…

War inside…
No choice but to survive…
They all suggested instead…
That I…
Instead of just listing to I…
“Everybody feels like this sometimes…”
Is what’s been said

Like yoga and breathing technology will be the end all…
Please shut the fuck up!
This can’t be helped…
Sedate me…
With A mega dose…

I’m far beyond your reality…
Irritated response comes off as hatred…
Naw…
I just hate being me…
My mind comes off as vacancy…
It’s just a rundown trap house…

It’s just so full…
Of many things like raging pain in tall viles suffering, sins, stress and struggling…

To comprehend this life…
This fowl bitch ain’t for us…
It’s only designed for them…

You don’t think like me…
Move like me…
Get tired of trying to prove like me…

Stuck in quick sands open belly…
Up to the neck barely breathing…
Stop!
Don’t make a camp fire out of my…
Forest fire….

You ain’t me…

I’m not you…

My face looks like it’s stuck on violent… When it’s stuck on problems…
Ones that can’t be solved in…
A hard back dictionary…
Clinging to nonfictinary…

Why must I fight myself to end…
As a quotation after the exlimation…

Mark…

I struggle like no other…
Like a failed mission or a unfinished… Kitchen…
Black droors without utensils…
I’m tense all over…
In every sense…
Back tured counter clockwise from happiness…

Fuck it…

Exhaustion…

Stop breathing…

A nobody…

Will only be my legacy…

No one notices as human…
Us!

So they can’t miss who or what they never perceive…

Incurable…

“Like us !”

Don’t dress how we use to.
Don’t keep our self up like we use to.
Don’t do things like we use to.

This is beyond depression…
Inside spirit a hollow oak tree…
Bound to a ships…
Anchor…

War inside…
No choice but to survive…
They all suggested instead…
That I…
Instead of just listing to I…
“Everybody feels like this sometimes…”
Is what’s been said

Like yoga and breathing technology will be the end all…
Please shut the fuck up!
This can’t be helped…
Sedate me…
With A mega dose…

Black Merc 0202-0-16

Lately I’ve been

drifting.

My old structure

of strict militant ways.

Don’t know how

long before.

I’ll be consumed

by the flames.

The past be the

past.

Glued stuck to my frustrated

psyche.

Being bound to

something worst.

Confused that sometimes

the worst deeds can set you

Free.

Mind filthy, rotting away off

The bones of my

decaying last good memories.

Life’s snap shots of

seconds of smiles and laughter.

Then Jokes become

sloppy.

The laughter becomes

annoying.

Reality kicks into

Dissipated smiles.

The heart is distantly

colder like a halleys Comet.

As I rapidly forget short

Small numbers and sentences.

I won’t die…

I’m dieing slowly along

the way.

Experiencing that first hand

failure to control crashing

Into ashes.

Warped feelings overdosed, lusting

for violence and gun powdery

children’s cereal.

Maybe inching instantly

towards a whole

solid insanity plea.

Watching humans devour there

nurturers and there nurtured.

A thick book deal guide through

corruption, scams,

set ups and confusion.

More and more I

Aggressively drift back

into that.

Predictably same facial

expression that never changes.

No matter the emotion, excitement

Happyness of whatever

Joy is.

My face will always look

The exact same.

My face stays stuck trying

to comprehend.

Why everyone looks

at me like I’m a stone.

Maybe I am one to

Think of.

I fail the try outs…

Then become more

upset that I pathetically try to hard.

Or is just never close

To enough.

All humans are born with

A heart’s worth of emotions.

Yes that is fact…

What do you call a human

That has to program there self to?

Feel it….

Or know when to receive it…

Reciprocate it in a way to

Trust the other.

Note that it’s not always

Out to break you or kill you.

From the inside out…

I feel less and less emotions

like when I was younger.

My emotions are plumiting

Stocks all over again.

A very bad investment…

Back to who I was not

supposed to been.

The rebirth of chaos is

about to began.

I can feel it..

It’s me…

I am chaos…

The second coming…

Is on the way…

Free Us…

So we will be one with our former self…

The form of a poker face…

Dead from With in…

The Black Mercury……..

For Normalization

Bear with me…

I was never good with
Words. That’s why I
Barely spoken.

I knew what i wanted
To say. Then when my mouth
Opened. The words
Came out persecuted by contradiction.

I just want to be…

I’m not… I never will
Understand my ways
Or how I feel. Split
Personality, so we
Just talk to each other.
I know if I talk to myself
No one would make fun
Of or judge him….

Me…

You see…

I know this makes no
Sense. I forget numbers,
Dates, small things.
I struggle….
Every address I lived
I can only remember one of the numbers.

Bear with me…

I know I don’t make sense…

So frustrated, embracing,
Alone, sad, madness. All the
Sorrows with titles. Quotes
Like Scripture from the bible.

King James…

I’d rather gaze into
80 percent of the
Quran.

Maybe someone linked to a prophet…

Maybe a May bee sweating over honey.

I picked up a gun
Before a book. Didn’t
Learn to read till I was a
adult.

All praise due to
The Almighty. Blessing
Me with a paper and pen.
Yet they still don’t here me.
Like they never understood
me then…

They say I speak in
Riddles soo…

Riddle me this…

Decode my words!
Behold the thought!
When teeth don’t show!
That means my pen
Will be a tattoo needle for
Exposure!

My woes will be jotted!
You could snort them
In lines then!

Try to..

Bear with the two headed
Viper crying! Some
Thoughts crippled
Till my mind has delayed
Then deleted!

All I ask is for you to bear with me…

Believe it……..

Big Facts 400

Indictments! now the truth
Comes out.

My name is my
Name.

Yet I hid
From my own
Doubt.

Federal

No no no!

Investigations are gone!
                        So so long!

Now I can give…

Asia pronounced!
“I ja”

Yes, I hate my Name but, what true is real…

Can’t be excused.

Nore do I have to
Explain my Damn
Views.

It feels good to
Be back
Here!

Now let me
Lay back. Take off my
Shoes off.

I apologize
For not being
Honest.

For a reason!

Deeper….

Little explanations!

Understood only by those
That understand.

To keep my
Ass
Out of that iron
Vacation.

No sliding doors
For me. No Damn bars to hold me…

I hope you agree.

If not…..

Go back to the beginning
of me and re-read…

Now I will pay my respects to
Those who ain’t make it to 2021…

R.I.P

L. Turtle

C. James

Patricia b.

Kenny

Yawl

Cali

Avon

H. Rodney

Makk

M. Wilson

If I forgot some.
I’m sorry.

Justice will be
Survered
For y’alls
Murders

Happy “you” years to all!