Cutt Out

When ties cut.
The fall will be

massive like.
Lies that touch

the lives of the gullible.
Pure, poor bastards

who also.
Took a life or took there own after…

Im not surprised.
To hear all the

guilt tripping.
Foot clipping.
Thoughts into

self doubt.
Heart breaking how.

You cant feel or hear any push of confidence.

Aggressively being

told that you will make it out…

With a hand full of sillys

and glitter Lillys. Pinching

your nerves, to see them

happy while you suffer.

Wanting nothing in life.

To not be toxic. To

toxic for wanting a friendship. Can’t even comprehend your

own insanity to begin with…..

Thicker of the Thinning

Unjust!
I’m
So use to
This…
I
Just
Adjust
Can’t shake
It like angel dust
cold sweats
On this cold pavement
Onto a cold slab
Unzipped the black bag
Opened
From head to toe
They said that was the best part of the show 🎲🎰🪄🎩

“They think they know”

They dooo…
They think
they doooo…

You don’t listen
You compare.
You brush me off
Like you don’t care.
Clarify this shit…
As My diagnosis
rolls up off anothers
Tongues…

like
Water off a leaf
That’s weak…

Let me make it
Clear to those
Who won’t and
Don’t understand
That the issue
Can’t be compared
To you self
Diagnosis of me
Or yourself.

Boxed in a
A box in corner…
Small walls
I can’t peak over
Them.
With out…
I dare you to
speak… Making
Me more lonely…

“OH just do some breathing techniques and exercise. “

Ok that’s fine!
but It only
Last for a little
while!
You wonder why!
I Don’t smile!
I just
Need a stronger
Dose im on
Enough meds
To take a bull
Down!

Make me bitter
At all repetitive
remarks!

You!
Don’t!
Know!
Me!

Let me tell you
How it feels to
Be me!

Relationships/can’t
Going out in public/won’t
Being surrounded by
new people your
Friend knows/ I don’t think so…

I can socialize
to an extent.
If I say something
Out of order…..
To the huddle…
You may or may
Not hear me
keep apologizing……..

So my isolated
My inner and outer
Being…….

These issues with
in me.

Can only be exposed
If you know me….
Or sometimes not
I just feel…
Real tire…
So good night…

O ya…
I forgot…

Most times group
With a bunch of
Me’s and yous can…
Maybe even a hand
Full can understand me…

Only!

My mind
Is…

Mostly out of
Order………

I never asked for
A pity party ………

To Sock a Cucumbers

Life is a scrimmage
Getting ready to pull
Out….

pop! pop! pop!
Tendencies!

Non stop!

How to shoot
Then lay low from!

Your brutality!

Like hiding a stain
On gradma couch…

You cant!

You know
She going to
Find it!

As you do!

The word already
Got out!

For the law to
Come get you!

You better hope
They find you…

Before the streets
Do!

Your shoes
In the dumpster…

What did your
feet do!

Your crew is
a qazine
Best served
With
Info…

Ya…

Your real
thorough…

So you stand on
Your ten
toes comfortable!

Remember
You will always
Reap!

The sewing
Machines of
Other Dumbfounders
Like you!

Found when!

Family can’t
Guide you
Or hide you!

You’ve
Broken the very
Definition of…

what
It means to
be a real gangster…

For one…

Family always
Comes first!

You run to help
Your community
To breath!

Those in need!

Don’t take from
Someone doing
Just as bad as
you!

If you going
To do it…

Steal from
The system’s
Branch corporate
theives!

Ain’t no honors
Amongst black
theives!

Any theives!

Come together like
Gum under your
shoes…

You broken the
Rules…

Roc a bye baby…

There was no soon
For you…

Salt and Mud

You left me stranded

So I drowned in
Gun fire, Jack Daniels
And 40oz”s

Drama, flying saucers
Bullets lost in
brick walls

Lodged

In house furniture
Sold out slugs

Copper tops tree top
Pirus

Cookie cutters

My Dimu called
Them bookie
Butters

Like he
Had a speech
Impediment

Thats just Blood
edicate

Raised hell
A bit

To intelligent

In a cell a bit

Letters never
Sent never
Touched

like
They were
Celabate

You
Never sent
A letter back

The child
That was once
Beaten blue

Brused for
For nothing

By you

Clutching a belt
Shaped as a “U”

Ungrateful
And unfaithful like
Samson

So

I stay absent

Like you

Birddy Canary

I feel like

Silence is

The answer

To a mathematical

Problem

The equation

Space

To make

A novel

Praised

For the

Use to

Silence-err

Couldn’t see

What I mean

With a monical

You couldn’t

Feel my Words

With a key

To catch

Up with

the day

Locked

Out of

Thankfulls

And thank

you’s

Your own

Answer

Or is it

Protection

For what’s

To come

A mediphor

Unpluged

Giving you

The truth

In the

Feeling

Of what

Is why

I go by

And go

Through

As a silencer

No fake

Smiles

To pardon

You

From death

Till only

I am left

Attached

Mentalities relapsed+

Bloody scars that painted my
Knuckle+

War paint
Cuddles my face
I’m black and I’m
Proud+

From the
Feet to the root canal+

A tramatic opposite+

I linger in blank expression+

Eyes wide open+

without
No type of emotions+

Poker face here+

Not bluffing+

No room for let downs or
believing in something+

my
Own mental distruction+

Nothing+

It’s nothing+

Living in hell I’m use to the most, beautiful, rotton+

Sweet sorrows+

I Embraced
The reason its not to be chased+

The heathen+

Smile For Me

Someone today
asked me…
Asked me a
question that…
I’ve been hearing
my whole life…
Why don’t I ever
smile…?
This person
was sitting
in a chair on there
porch…
with there
company…
I looked up at
that person…
There company…
With my face
Already Spoken…
For its self…
I just kept
walking…
How rude is that…?

Why don’t I smile…?
I’ve been like this
since I was child…
I grew
up in a family that
was very wild….
Verry… wild…
I never had a chance…
Walking around
with my fists balled
up…
The person that
was supposed to
Be my protector…
A Rejector…
Always
beat me…
With a
thick black
belt…
He gave it a
Name…
I think it was
Mr bass…?
Sometimes he used his bare hands…
So ask me…
Tell me how could
Or why I should trust
another woman
or man…
Hopelessly scared…

No doubt, I’ve had
Many challenges my
whole life…
Moving
from apartment to
apartment…
House to house…
Even in the middle of the night…
I couldn’t
make friends…
manifesting my anger…
Within…

Golden rules in…
Different schools…
Into different
streets…
I dealt with heat…
Some shady folk that
wanted to beef…
A Fist fights delight…
Shoot outs…
In…
My youthfulness…
Daysss…
My life could
have been lost
in a blaze….

No matter how much
I hurted, ached…
I never received
hospital service…
Flash backs
from shell rocks
boulevards…
Blood stained candles
Lit…
Candle light visuals
left on the corners…

Some
times…
It mentally…
Physically…
Hurts to
walk past some
spots…
Thoughts of old
friends…
There lives
tragically stolen…
came to a closing…
Days
and months…
In and
out…
I’ve witnessed
The many deaths…
Had many tests…
Overtime
my…
Experiences
became my
facial expressions…

From
jail to jail…
Causing
my lifestyle
to derail….
Somedays…
Bad…
Horrible…
Worst-cases…
Don’t get me blue…
There were some
good days…
Just
more bad than
good…
The hood……
Magnified my
Expressions…
For good…

Pain Killers

I died today…
Rest in peace…
So sad my life
ended like it started.
Addiction…
I couldn’t shake
it so I dissolved
in my own bag
of brown sugar.
The pain it wouldn’t
stop, the flames
were very hot and
I’ve stained the
minds of lots,
but only after death.
No pot to piss
in so I stole yours.
Bewildered…
Kicking in door
after door only
to find more
problems on
the other side.
Your irresponsible
lectures turned me
out. Making me
heartless.
This is evidence
that supports
and confirms
my statements.
I laid on her
stomach at
night rubbing
my fingers on
her cesarean
scars and she
took her
pocket knife
that was already
stained with
her past lovers
blood and
stabbed me
in the back
and twisted
the blade
until it broken
in my flesh
to create
more pain.
I didn’t die
from that.
I died because
I loved for
one second to
many and
turned my back.
That was
the first time
my tears created
acid that
dropped in my
hands and burned
away the calluses.
I am so glad to
be dead.

Blood Over The Stolen Hill

I believe I
was a…
Apache in
a former
life…
Sharpening
my tomahawk…
With stones…
Draped my
Face
Drenched
Over war
paint…
Finger
tips
Dipped in
the blood
from my
adversary’s…
Treacherous…
I was chief
A running gun
Five star
Buffalo
general…
Tougher
Then
bull
Horns…
Calcium
That was
strong…
Like
The aroma
of menthol…
Giving out
orders…
Raising thee
Young…
Wise
tribe in
Native pride…
Proudly…
Many
died on
that
hill yet…
We
Keep
them in
our prayers…
We
pushed back
our intruders
infantry block…
Mowing
down the
lives thee
Unworthy
opposition…
Pale white
Dirty skin,
Filty men…
Trying
to take our
land
Kill and
Rape our
Wives
And children
for
to satisfy
There own
Evil greedy
Needs…
I screamed…
This tribal
Chant…
This Soil
And moss
Rivers
And animals
I will protect
Everyone
With in it
In peace…
If it’s
Blood you
Seek…
It will
Be your
Own
blood
You will
See…
We did battle…
After
those
long
wars
Those
enemy’s
were
demolished…
They will
Have no
Choices…
As
Always
The
respected
Elder…
For our
bravery…
My men
will be
Recognize…
Till the
death of
Me… I’ll
Inherited
war like
mentality
Lost… to
Be slaughtered
In hatred…
Still I strive
To leave in
Peaces of
Moss….
Never forgotten
ancestors
Of the Apache…