Smelling Salts

Just give me a dose

So I don’t overdose

Forget it

Let me comatose

Crochet my fingers into a rope

Mind locked its self behind the door

So how can I get out

Let me win

I’m stuck

Throw the sheets over my only motive to live

Give me a dose

So I don’t overdose

The mind says overdose instead

Hands shake when

I pick up things

Even a cup to drink

Fabrics drenched in Arabic coffee

Warm

Opposed to hot like I wanted it

I left it sitting on my table for to long

Eyes like rockets fuel burning

Under smoke

Trying to get a taste of a second hand

Slapped away

I don’t want your created pavement

To curl up on anyway

Give me a soft couch Cigarette in my mouth

Comfortable

And a small dose

So I don’t overdose

Stopped searching for the lost lists of me

Indeed I be the unholy

I know it

Sometimes to bold to be told

I have only days to live

Without cancer

I’m the cancer and a council

Of councillors in my surroundings

Funny how I can be a councillor yet, I can’t council me

Can’t nobody

I can’t use myself to cure

What I am

Or nobody

Placad at my face values like valumes

Antipsychotics

Together

Then face my low values

Phrase it to graze on my

Pains immortality

I battle with everything, anybody

People just don’t understand

You couldn’t ever understand a person like

Us

So stop

Persons like me just need

You to not

Just be there to hold

The mental and grow

Pleaded no sympathy

Fractures the light that once to glow

Just listen to me

Whenever I ever

Need the me time to wait for our time

Speak in a small dose

Because to be honest

I’d rather just overdose

Then to be told

I will be ok

Just give me a small dose of

Being there

Hiatus Paralysis

These words are…

Only for the brains consumption…

A small creators mistake…

Mistaken…

Lies…

For truth…

Having no true value…

Like a house with no…

Cealings in the middle of…

Harricain season…

I seasoned the broth…

Surrounding that hot boiling pot…

I never fold under pressure…

So I wear a rain coat…

Coated in the flesh of my problems…

I got wet…

Its like I met my words…

Parents…

For the first time…

At the same damn time…

I brought pain to fruit flies in training…

Medications…

Meditation…

My words had a bench warrent…

The pages served it…

I’m only hear because I deserve it…

A waisted mind is the only crime…

My lines won’t die unless I…

Become another why That killed them…

No can’t or can nots…

I folded them Into a barrito…

I ate them in colors…

I ate them…

Because I’m not like no other

By the way…

Where the hell are my truck keys?

I hope I can stay here… If not… Fuck it…

Knock knock!

Then the call to me after…

“They said they want to talk to you…”

For what…

“Some bullshit…”

I laughed a these fisher men…

With badges on chains…

I’ve moved away…

An changed…

Still I remain…

The bad man in discussions…

Nothing matter when you’ve…

Been down this body slammed road…

Situations common like this…

I can’t even blink my eyes without…

Being pulled over an frisk…

Stopped on the street…

“You fit the description of…”

Let me guess…

A robbery…

Suspect…

Guns to my face…

Then released without even a…

“Sorry!”

Maybe I’m just in the wrong skin…

Or maybe it’s just a coincidence…

All I know is I’m use to my rights…

Being abused…

A grown ass man on time out…

That’s there plan…

The American dream…

When I can…

I’m getting a passport…

And getting the helll…

Out of this lemonade stand…

When life handz me that lemon…

Bye bye uncle Sam….

Baltimore City Homes

Guess where I’m from…

Cold like Goldie pimps and police… I morn over the men and women I grew up with… Even the paroles, please give me time to breathe, while I bleed… Out… On the street… Blood thickness glazed over where the children play over… It… Kick starts into Pre-kindergarten… In the picture was a deadly grim scene behind me… Like the president behind the podium… Corruption… Trying to get by under poverty so I… Robbed, stolen and sold like how the country was formed… What was mine today… Only time and God can say when it’s my time… So, while I live on… In this snow storm of fire… Im design for hellish climate… My life means nothing yet… I will surely stand up for progress… Nothing provided… Prisoners with in a project lab rat shit… Are in the city making noise like a helicopter crash, clash of insanity from my past… Creeping up on my future fuck it…. Lets go out and play in bullet rain… Aim, pull it, aim… Is the forecast for today… Showers propel back until a quiet silence… Till someone falls, no spring ups… Summer into winters dinner has none….

Tying your last tie

“I just can’t stop”

“So many tears”

“I literally haven’t cryed this much in years”

“Tears so thick”

“Tears so fucking thick”

“Pardon my language”

“My eyes welled over into trees”

You’ll never no how much you ment to me…

Your father is…

My brother….

Fuck…

Pardon my language….

I’d die 1,000,000,000 ties….

For you to take my place…

I don’t know…

All I can remember right now is…

When you were born…

I haven’t cried so hard in years…

I feel like mother earth…

I feel like “Emit Till…

I feel like “Malcolm X”

I feel like…

Fighting for all that is left….

Negro wake up…

But I know I am…

All that matters…

To me brother…

Is us…

My family…

My lasts…

My firsts…

Your child has past…

He won’t come back…

I don’t know how to feel…

So I’ll just let my tears…

Roll back in my head…

He’s on level…

Place up now…

My neff…

Stronger then I ever was….

Your birthday is two weeks from now….

My smile has burned its self down…

I’m hurting…

So bad…

If my tears could talk…

Fuck it…

They Would be bleeding instead…

It’s all in my fucking head…

Pardon my language…

Pardon…

My grammer….

Pardon the things I can’t and won’t fix…

Literally….

My ashy hands are two damaged….

This one is real personal…

Yet, I have to share it….

Get it off myself…

Crashing trying to take off my seat belt…

If I didn’t…

Post…

Anything…

Fuck it…

Pardon my language…

“To my god son Carlos jr, aka Jr”

“I will forever miss you shorrty”

“I’ll miss you”

“I love you boy”

“I’ll see you when I get there”

“I may die in battle but I will never lose the fight!”

“Gun jammed

He lost his life

In hot sands……”

 

 

 

 

Still I wanted to be a paragraph…

 

Sitting on the soft side of my eulogy

Preparing no pictures for the inside….

 

 

No good times!

 

 

Mind was permanently layed off!

 

My casket will be a tin can

With a nickel and a penny in it!

 

 

Can’t even play a fucking Jukebox!

 

 

“Shirt worth a damn juice box!”

“Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These!”

“Who the hell am I to disagree!”

“Lol I love that song!”

 

 

I’m the land mine out of my damn mind…

 

 

When I finnaly die in battle

It will be from eternal life…

 

 

Since I fell from God’s kingdom wings Smokey black on both sides…

 

 

I’m trying to keep that side A

From side b turning my cassette tape

Into one million degrees!

 

 

 

This beautiful pain

Will be my victory…

 

 

I don’t need nothing!

 

 

Or a unknown known sprocket to do shit for me!!!

 

 

If you want to pitty me!!!

 

Do it by dieing for admitting our cause to live means you never gave a fuck about me!!!

 

 

Our corpses will kiss for a ment to be moment……..

 

“To

Be……”

 

“This will be close to a victory……..”

 

I trust know one or nothing trying to get close enough to me!!!!!

 

I’m just dry rotten dabree………….

 

Touch Lines

Tooth pick short

Brush painted blood forts

Flood birds

Black crows

Creole I speak to

Gathering the facts

That makes me weak

I break chains from feet

To move on…………

 

Everyone’s lines are

Different

Lane switching in the

Newport

Smoke kills so good

Love died already

Oh how I’m so ugly

Don’t look at my egg cartons

Into my eyes raw thought

Brought heads to meet

Thoroughly forming days

That could put me on

Trial

Any day

Anyway…………..

 

Everyday

I never think

Of

Going away

I have no one left

They took everything…………

 

From thee

All praises due

I calendar mark my

Days till my death

If my debt is payed

My steps are through

Falling in plain view……………

 

 

 

 

Lines of abuse trying to abolish the truth! Of a gun shell casing! Hollow and rain rusted my taste buds! Slain layed holes in temp tags with no title or registration………

In the facile light by what creeps behind me…

Those lights…..

Or double barrel pipes….

 

I’m gonna gun it till the last mag has emptied!

Gold Chains and Rings

(First and foremost… I’d like to say rest in peace “lil Game” and to the pigs who murdered you!  May they die in the worst way! Love you yooo and I’ll see you when I get there!💪☝✊✊✊)

 

 

Touch my hand between plexiglass… The big hand holds the small hand you have placed… When a man is down in helplessness… In any rocky situation….

A lion caught, caged brought to the zoo… He needs your plexiglass touch… Even if it frees him for 15 mins…

“Don’t talk!”

Just look him in his darkness without lips to tell…. Him something to give him hope… Making him feel human again…

“Down and out!”

Knowing he has you to… Get him through the bad times… Plus his darkness of days…

“You guys are liers!

“If you say men don’t cry”

What happens when the letters of love and promises stop? The ones you’ve sent him all along… He will stop caring about life and humanity…

“Throughout my personal experiences in life…”

 

The real women…

The strong women…

“Doesn’t have to mean physical…”

 

Just Strong enough to lead a man’s heart into the broken clock he became…

“He powerfully tick again!”

“Yes abandonment issues are real in human nature!”

Every women is made for a man vice versa… You don’t have to be physically there to hold him close… If he knows you’ll always hold him down…

 

 

Your love for a man…

 

 

“Because a real man is. A man with a back bone who protects and has heart! To give more then he receives!”

 

Only the strong survive…

If you love him truly…

Heal his heart and soul!

You shall receive his warmth forever….

 

 

“Those gold chains and Rings babeeeee!”

 

Putter There

Does Life keep you down? Don’t worry! Just put on your best happy!

Face….

 

Can’t get a decent job! From past court cases!

Hey!

Just put on a happy!

Face….

 

 

 

You need to be loved! You want a companion! You can’t even stand!

Your…

Self…

Put on a happy!

face…..

 

 

Christmas is coming! Thanksgiving to! Not one thanks from those! Unappreciative souls!

You

Need

To

Just

Put

on

that

happy

face……….

 

 

 

Praying for help! Only to be left by yourself! No hands make contact alone in this world…

Broke the home with in self! I still have flash backs no relief from disasters! I still catch nightmares! Like fire flys finally reaching happiness!

Rising up off the couch sweating!

Yelling!

 

 

Surrounded by demons of these imaginary friends…

Since!

kin

Der

Garden……

 

 

 

Shootings at high capacity, atrocious to civilians… Meteor showers that lasted for hours top mileage!

 

The mayor declared a cease fire! That just ment a break! For actions to subside. For a week or less. I was the opposite of……. Not a maniac? A disciple of seeing my enemys! Bleed to death at there last supper! Now surrounded by a new breed of cowards!

With no respect for perfect aim………

 

 

It’s indisputable that I am a King!

I know I know…

I am one of the worst fuck ups…

A fuck up…

Sleeping in hellish-ly peace……………