Smelling Salts

Just give me a dose

So I don’t overdose

Forget it

Let me comatose

Crochet my fingers into a rope

Mind locked its self behind the door

So how can I get out

Let me win

I’m stuck

Throw the sheets over my only motive to live

Give me a dose

So I don’t overdose

The mind says overdose instead

Hands shake when

I pick up things

Even a cup to drink

Fabrics drenched in Arabic coffee

Warm

Opposed to hot like I wanted it

I left it sitting on my table for to long

Eyes like rockets fuel burning

Under smoke

Trying to get a taste of a second hand

Slapped away

I don’t want your created pavement

To curl up on anyway

Give me a soft couch Cigarette in my mouth

Comfortable

And a small dose

So I don’t overdose

Stopped searching for the lost lists of me

Indeed I be the unholy

I know it

Sometimes to bold to be told

I have only days to live

Without cancer

I’m the cancer and a council

Of councillors in my surroundings

Funny how I can be a councillor yet, I can’t council me

Can’t nobody

I can’t use myself to cure

What I am

Or nobody

Placad at my face values like valumes

Antipsychotics

Together

Then face my low values

Phrase it to graze on my

Pains immortality

I battle with everything, anybody

People just don’t understand

You couldn’t ever understand a person like

Us

So stop

Persons like me just need

You to not

Just be there to hold

The mental and grow

Pleaded no sympathy

Fractures the light that once to glow

Just listen to me

Whenever I ever

Need the me time to wait for our time

Speak in a small dose

Because to be honest

I’d rather just overdose

Then to be told

I will be ok

Just give me a small dose of

Being there

I hope I can stay here… If not… Fuck it…

Knock knock!

Then the call to me after…

“They said they want to talk to you…”

For what…

“Some bullshit…”

I laughed a these fisher men…

With badges on chains…

I’ve moved away…

An changed…

Still I remain…

The bad man in discussions…

Nothing matter when you’ve…

Been down this body slammed road…

Situations common like this…

I can’t even blink my eyes without…

Being pulled over an frisk…

Stopped on the street…

“You fit the description of…”

Let me guess…

A robbery…

Suspect…

Guns to my face…

Then released without even a…

“Sorry!”

Maybe I’m just in the wrong skin…

Or maybe it’s just a coincidence…

All I know is I’m use to my rights…

Being abused…

A grown ass man on time out…

That’s there plan…

The American dream…

When I can…

I’m getting a passport…

And getting the helll…

Out of this lemonade stand…

When life handz me that lemon…

Bye bye uncle Sam….

Baltimore City Homes

Guess where I’m from…

Cold like Goldie pimps and police… I morn over the men and women I grew up with… Even the paroles, please give me time to breathe, while I bleed… Out… On the street… Blood thickness glazed over where the children play over… It… Kick starts into Pre-kindergarten… In the picture was a deadly grim scene behind me… Like the president behind the podium… Corruption… Trying to get by under poverty so I… Robbed, stolen and sold like how the country was formed… What was mine today… Only time and God can say when it’s my time… So, while I live on… In this snow storm of fire… Im design for hellish climate… My life means nothing yet… I will surely stand up for progress… Nothing provided… Prisoners with in a project lab rat shit… Are in the city making noise like a helicopter crash, clash of insanity from my past… Creeping up on my future fuck it…. Lets go out and play in bullet rain… Aim, pull it, aim… Is the forecast for today… Showers propel back until a quiet silence… Till someone falls, no spring ups… Summer into winters dinner has none….

Mississippi River

What can I do…

When the feeling is so mutual…

I see you…

Ducking and hiding…

Don’t blame me for not noticing…

Just noticing you

Apologetic…

Heavey magnetic…

Inner drawing…

The energy…

Energetic…

Holding a bright catalog…

Like listening…

Hearing pipes sing like…

Old apartment heaters…

Tink tink tink…

Description is some skin…

You only see in the Amazon…

Tribal eye balls…

Might cause a…

Fire disired…

The pressure in my legs up…

I’m getting hot…

I need a check up…

Check me out…

I’ve walked through a…

Brick wall…

Looking at the body of…

Thick sliced spring water…

Signals in my mind jammed…

Like you through a chaff grenade…

Damn your so beautiful…

In your body is a outrage…

In a salad,dressing bowl of…

Fresh everything…

Even miles…

Uneven…

Eventually smiles…

For one reason…

Eye contact…

Tying your last tie

“I just can’t stop”

“So many tears”

“I literally haven’t cryed this much in years”

“Tears so thick”

“Tears so fucking thick”

“Pardon my language”

“My eyes welled over into trees”

You’ll never no how much you ment to me…

Your father is…

My brother….

Fuck…

Pardon my language….

I’d die 1,000,000,000 ties….

For you to take my place…

I don’t know…

All I can remember right now is…

When you were born…

I haven’t cried so hard in years…

I feel like mother earth…

I feel like “Emit Till…

I feel like “Malcolm X”

I feel like…

Fighting for all that is left….

Negro wake up…

But I know I am…

All that matters…

To me brother…

Is us…

My family…

My lasts…

My firsts…

Your child has past…

He won’t come back…

I don’t know how to feel…

So I’ll just let my tears…

Roll back in my head…

He’s on level…

Place up now…

My neff…

Stronger then I ever was….

Your birthday is two weeks from now….

My smile has burned its self down…

I’m hurting…

So bad…

If my tears could talk…

Fuck it…

They Would be bleeding instead…

It’s all in my fucking head…

Pardon my language…

Pardon…

My grammer….

Pardon the things I can’t and won’t fix…

Literally….

My ashy hands are two damaged….

This one is real personal…

Yet, I have to share it….

Get it off myself…

Crashing trying to take off my seat belt…

If I didn’t…

Post…

Anything…

Fuck it…

Pardon my language…

“To my god son Carlos jr, aka Jr”

“I will forever miss you shorrty”

“I’ll miss you”

“I love you boy”

“I’ll see you when I get there”

No Anesthesia

A crisis…

Terrorism…

That seriously needs…

To be abolished…

Acknowledged…

Not private…

 

 

This grease fire of evil intent…

Needs to be….

Fanned….

Flames more…

Attention and exposure…

 

It could be your…

Mother….

Sister…..

Aunt….

Grandma…..

Cousin…

Damn….

Why…………….

 

FUCK THAT!!!

Consequences should be!

Death!

 

 

Castrated without anesthetics!!

 

Fucking scabs!

That need to be pulled!

Offed!

 

BITCH!!

Bleed to death!

 

 

 

I’m sorry…

I can’t rest knowing….

That…

Out there…

Somewhere…

A girl or women…

Is being brutally raped…

Tookin………

 

 

Touched and molested…

 

 

NO!!

Let’s not hide this shit!!

Let’s ride for this shit!!

Fucking riot!

This is war declared!

These!

Creatures!

Carbon copy men!

You just as can’t be a father!

You were born!

How can you do this to a mother!!

 

 

 

I rather kill him!

And him and him……..

 

Smiling…

As I rot in a prison…

For a murder conviction…

If I could take ten men out!

With my bare hands!

In one day!

That’s ten less preditors on the streets!

Check your head count sheets!

 

 

What about her tears…

What about God’s gift…

What about those children…

What about there fears..

How the fuck can you live!

 

 

Let’s talk about it…..

Let’s walk about it….

March in peace…

With fire on our feet…

Yell in the damn streets!

about it………..

 

Fuck is you talkin bout!!

 

 

Riot!

Get violent!

For justice for the brutal violence!

From the suspect number…

187…

 

The real issue stay…

Set aside to decay….

More bodies…

Everyday….

Thats is swept away…

Dust………

 

 

 

Tell your daughters!

Every second….

You love them…

 

 

 

WATCH THE AUTHORITIES DO NOTHING!!

WATCH A BY STANDER OR WITNESSES DO NOTHING!

HER BEAUTIFUL COTTON TORN UP ON A SUNDAY!

 

 

Nothing……………

 

 

 

The rapist….

A preditor…

A theif…

A manipulator…

Weakness is what they seek!

 

 

It gets worst…

People whisper…

Saying things…

Whore……..

 

AND YOU ARE THE VICTIM!

 

While it only takes seconds…

For a group of demons to!

Hold her…

Down…….

 

Shot her consent…

Psychological…

Oven mits…..

 

 Innocence…

Demolished…..

 

 

Screaming for help…

Attire ripped up…

Finger printed….

 

 

Even if she lives….

She would probably take her…

Own life…

If…….

 

Or!

Say enough is enough!

Becoming a soldier!

In this fucked up world war……..

 

 

 

 

Death by firing squad!

To the dick and balls!

Pause……

 

 

 

This is dedicated to T. B.

And all the victims and case dismissals…

Your voices will not go unheard!

Your all in my prayers!

I love you alllll!!

Stay strong!

 

Roy Ayers (Everybody Loves The Sunshine!) 1976

“My number 1 favorite soul song solid!!”

 

 

My song…

Peace and soul…

You feel the beat…

Like the sun on your back…

No sun screen…

For art thou melonin…

Crazy talk…

Fixed into lady earth…

Damn you looking good in that sun dress baby…

Fell from one heaven…

Two eleven…

You choose to move into my blessings…

Bragging to myself…

I couldn’t help it…

The wealth is…

In the eyes of…

All elements…

List to this solid…

Beat…

It’ll tell ya…

All you women and fellas…

Tunes from Omega…

 

As I Sleep… In Anothers Dream…

Cold here…

 

My bed lay within your crainium…

Lock cracked open…

Things…

 

Things inside of you…

Somewhere that you never speak…

Of…

You can never denie it’s there….

 

What I b’s is…

The slithering into your…

Unseen that I see..

 

Special needs…

 

Paralysis…

Venomous…

From my…

 

Tongue…

 

The ruler over your tonsils…

The leader…

Of the heat…

 

That tingles in…

 

Swirving over the outer spine…

Goose bumps…

Like a relatable song liked

 

I am bad for your healthcare like…

Swine…

 

It is now the time…

For the dream to end…

As you awaken on a wet bed sheet..

Falls…

 

Mattress…

Detached…

From what’s a bubble…

Or is it a…

 

Life in reality…

What’s fake…

Or just how it should be…

Blessed…

 

Where is the rest…

Of sins…

Of the…

 

Flesh…

That thou shalt not….

 

“I may die in battle but I will never lose the fight!”

“Gun jammed

He lost his life

In hot sands……”

 

 

 

 

Still I wanted to be a paragraph…

 

Sitting on the soft side of my eulogy

Preparing no pictures for the inside….

 

 

No good times!

 

 

Mind was permanently layed off!

 

My casket will be a tin can

With a nickel and a penny in it!

 

 

Can’t even play a fucking Jukebox!

 

 

“Shirt worth a damn juice box!”

“Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These!”

“Who the hell am I to disagree!”

“Lol I love that song!”

 

 

I’m the land mine out of my damn mind…

 

 

When I finnaly die in battle

It will be from eternal life…

 

 

Since I fell from God’s kingdom wings Smokey black on both sides…

 

 

I’m trying to keep that side A

From side b turning my cassette tape

Into one million degrees!

 

 

 

This beautiful pain

Will be my victory…

 

 

I don’t need nothing!

 

 

Or a unknown known sprocket to do shit for me!!!

 

 

If you want to pitty me!!!

 

Do it by dieing for admitting our cause to live means you never gave a fuck about me!!!

 

 

Our corpses will kiss for a ment to be moment……..

 

“To

Be……”

 

“This will be close to a victory……..”

 

I trust know one or nothing trying to get close enough to me!!!!!

 

I’m just dry rotten dabree………….