I feel like
Silence is
The answer
To a mathematical
Problem
The equation
Space
To make
A novel
Praised
For the
Use to
Silence-err
Couldn’t see
What I mean
With a monical
You couldn’t
Feel my Words
With a key
To catch
Up with
the day
Locked
Out of
Thankfulls
And thank
you’s
Your own
Answer
Or is it
Protection
For what’s
To come
A mediphor
Unpluged
Giving you
The truth
In the
Feeling
Of what
Is why
I go by
And go
Through
As a silencer
No fake
Smiles
To pardon
You
From death
Till only
I am left
Mentalities relapsed+
Bloody scars that painted my
Knuckle+
War paint
Cuddles my face
I’m black and I’m
Proud+
From the
Feet to the root canal+
A tramatic opposite+
I linger in blank expression+
Eyes wide open+
without
No type of emotions+
Poker face here+
Not bluffing+
No room for let downs or
believing in something+
my
Own mental distruction+
Nothing+
It’s nothing+
Living in hell I’m use to the most, beautiful, rotton+
Sweet sorrows+
I Embraced
The reason its not to be chased+
The heathen+
Boyyy!
It’s some secrets in that
Grass filled nut cluster.
Only place in the City
With those many agonising.
Fuss over those plasma gases,
Erupting. The remaining broken
dreams. I’m sorry……….
For all those secrets to
Whom I was a major resident…
Of…
Seen more and, more broken
Dreams piled up in my memories…
I’m sorry…
I’m sorry that I had no compassion.
Iron wounds room, rounds, half fumigated.
can still smell the faces. The secrets…
Dribbled to dabbled.
From some grapes to raisins….
From Billboards new state
where some secrets were staged..
Loved ones missing days.
Months of sleep.
Imagine how that hard dirt felt
Keep secrets yet… Only
Those of them became worthy. the grounds creepier states… Of mind…
No capability, lack there
Of Santa’s gifts.
So many secrets
Sooooo so many secrets
That those dirty dandelions
Wanted to tell…
Even if those ugly weeds
could…
They’d become a secret to…
One of a promised action
Without the need for
Currency.
Sooo many secrets in my
Dreams! They’ll Rome forever.
I’m good at keeping
Our giant show time secrets
for you….
No matter what…
Vanished!
“Oh Catastrophic”
“Like us !”
Don’t dress how we use to.
Don’t keep our self up like we use to.
Don’t do things like we use to.
This is beyond depression…
Inside spirit a hollow oak tree…
Bound to a ships…
Anchor…
War inside…
No choice but to survive…
They all suggested instead…
That I…
Instead of just listing to I…
“Everybody feels like this sometimes…”
Is what’s been said
Like yoga and breathing technology will be the end all…
Please shut the fuck up!
This can’t be helped…
Sedate me…
With A mega dose…
I’m far beyond your reality…
Irritated response comes off as hatred…
Naw…
I just hate being me…
My mind comes off as vacancy…
It’s just a rundown trap house…
It’s just so full…
Of many things like raging pain in tall viles suffering, sins, stress and struggling…
To comprehend this life…
This fowl bitch ain’t for us…
It’s only designed for them…
You don’t think like me…
Move like me…
Get tired of trying to prove like me…
Stuck in quick sands open belly…
Up to the neck barely breathing…
Stop!
Don’t make a camp fire out of my…
Forest fire….
You ain’t me…
I’m not you…
My face looks like it’s stuck on violent… When it’s stuck on problems…
Ones that can’t be solved in…
A hard back dictionary…
Clinging to nonfictinary…
Why must I fight myself to end…
As a quotation after the exlimation…
Mark…
I struggle like no other…
Like a failed mission or a unfinished… Kitchen…
Black droors without utensils…
I’m tense all over…
In every sense…
Back tured counter clockwise from happiness…
Fuck it…
Exhaustion…
Stop breathing…
A nobody…
Will only be my legacy…
No one notices as human…
Us!
So they can’t miss who or what they never perceive…
Incurable…
“Like us !”
Don’t dress how we use to.
Don’t keep our self up like we use to.
Don’t do things like we use to.
This is beyond depression…
Inside spirit a hollow oak tree…
Bound to a ships…
Anchor…
War inside…
No choice but to survive…
They all suggested instead…
That I…
Instead of just listing to I…
“Everybody feels like this sometimes…”
Is what’s been said
Like yoga and breathing technology will be the end all…
Please shut the fuck up!
This can’t be helped…
Sedate me…
With A mega dose…
Lately I’ve been
drifting.
My old structure
of strict militant ways.
Don’t know how
long before.
I’ll be consumed
by the flames.
The past be the
past.
Glued stuck to my frustrated
psyche.
Being bound to
something worst.
Confused that sometimes
the worst deeds can set you
Free.
Mind filthy, rotting away off
The bones of my
decaying last good memories.
Life’s snap shots of
seconds of smiles and laughter.
Then Jokes become
sloppy.
The laughter becomes
annoying.
Reality kicks into
Dissipated smiles.
The heart is distantly
colder like a halleys Comet.
As I rapidly forget short
Small numbers and sentences.
I won’t die…
I’m dieing slowly along
the way.
Experiencing that first hand
failure to control crashing
Into ashes.
Warped feelings overdosed, lusting
for violence and gun powdery
children’s cereal.
Maybe inching instantly
towards a whole
solid insanity plea.
Watching humans devour there
nurturers and there nurtured.
A thick book deal guide through
corruption, scams,
set ups and confusion.
More and more I
Aggressively drift back
into that.
Predictably same facial
expression that never changes.
No matter the emotion, excitement
Happyness of whatever
Joy is.
My face will always look
The exact same.
My face stays stuck trying
to comprehend.
Why everyone looks
at me like I’m a stone.
Maybe I am one to
Think of.
I fail the try outs…
Then become more
upset that I pathetically try to hard.
Or is just never close
To enough.
All humans are born with
A heart’s worth of emotions.
Yes that is fact…
What do you call a human
That has to program there self to?
Feel it….
Or know when to receive it…
Reciprocate it in a way to
Trust the other.
Note that it’s not always
Out to break you or kill you.
From the inside out…
I feel less and less emotions
like when I was younger.
My emotions are plumiting
Stocks all over again.
A very bad investment…
Back to who I was not
supposed to been.
The rebirth of chaos is
about to began.
I can feel it..
It’s me…
I am chaos…
The second coming…
Is on the way…
Free Us…
So we will be one with our former self…
The form of a poker face…
Dead from With in…
The Black Mercury……..
My intro wore your body
out like the latest
fashions…
Capsules in tattoos,
Brain washed by
Someone so called taboo…
Someone I
Spy, that’s brown
Skin through
My glasses…
Crowned by
Your influence,
To Shine gold sunz
over me…
Jewel of the
Smile only
motivates
My Integrity…
Lables of silk
Stampede all
Over your figure…
I figured out,
If I stay on your
Heels, then
You will make
One man…
The fool of all
That is real…
Untied, tounge
Out like unlaced
Sneakers…
Funny that I,
Peep us, more
Then you could
Ever…
I can write
A courious
About
My Visions on
Loop…
Yet, visions can
Be very scary
When you can see
Beyond the future…
The truth…
On self, I pray that I
Don’t place a
betting…
chance
With a Russian
Rulete mind
Frame…
For I know, that at
At the end, I’d
Be the one shot
In the head…
With no chances
Of surviving…
When love at first
Write, is a pen
On paper.
Out of control.
The odds of me
Surviving Having
A hole in my
Head.
Is a metaphor
For trying to find
A soulmate
that will
Never end.
Without us…….
Bear with me…
I was never good with
Words. That’s why I
Barely spoken.
I knew what i wanted
To say. Then when my mouth
Opened. The words
Came out persecuted by contradiction.
I just want to be…
I’m not… I never will
Understand my ways
Or how I feel. Split
Personality, so we
Just talk to each other.
I know if I talk to myself
No one would make fun
Of or judge him….
Me…
You see…
I know this makes no
Sense. I forget numbers,
Dates, small things.
I struggle….
Every address I lived
I can only remember one of the numbers.
Bear with me…
I know I don’t make sense…
So frustrated, embracing,
Alone, sad, madness. All the
Sorrows with titles. Quotes
Like Scripture from the bible.
King James…
I’d rather gaze into
80 percent of the
Quran.
Maybe someone linked to a prophet…
Maybe a May bee sweating over honey.
I picked up a gun
Before a book. Didn’t
Learn to read till I was a
adult.
All praise due to
The Almighty. Blessing
Me with a paper and pen.
Yet they still don’t here me.
Like they never understood
me then…
They say I speak in
Riddles soo…
Riddle me this…
Decode my words!
Behold the thought!
When teeth don’t show!
That means my pen
Will be a tattoo needle for
Exposure!
My woes will be jotted!
You could snort them
In lines then!
Try to..
Bear with the two headed
Viper crying! Some
Thoughts crippled
Till my mind has delayed
Then deleted!
All I ask is for you to bear with me…
Believe it……..
I can honestly say that.
I’m seriously indecisive.
Yet,
when I fully commit to
something or someone.
it can become a crisis.
The hardest critic is myself.
Yes it’s true.
Various mental issues
that plague my view.
Getting Tangled in past unpaid
Dues.
I’m realising that the same
People who try instilling positivity.
Are Condoning these new ways.
To be offended By people. Who don’t understand there offending you.
Fuck! I’m tired!
Fuck you and ya mama!
I can’t stand humans and there
phony mottos to live by but won’t
Die by what there trying to
Live for.
Falsified explanations.. excuses why not to do this Or say that.
Why not to believe in this or that.
The blind lead the blind mah’ fucka!
Don’t you believe in that.
Just because it sounds like it’s true don’t mean that it’s right.
Like being in a relationship and your partner believes. Every
Thing they single friend says is right.
Right?!
Bitch Wrong!
I’m so far beyond your
comprehension that.
I already know the shit y’all be on.
Next time I take advice. It will be
from the earth, not a pilgrim.
What lives matter?
Shut the fuck up!
Those white folk had
Me facing 40yrs plus! for defending
Myself!
Shut up!
Let me finish!
I say this right here!
I “Mr Thomas” solidly, solemnly swear I will never write about
Love and old love affairs.
Till the earth burns on its axis and explodes. from
Global warming ignored.
Atlest I know I wont be the only
Person to burn in a hell. Ain’t no
Self-defense laws for negros.
For the record………
Fuck you all I’m already dead!
Lol!
Fuck the love you know
If it’s true love you never had.
Life….. Or…… Death…..
Hmmmm”
If I was a “NIGGER”
what kind of “NIGGER”
would I have been?
Would I have been
A house “NIGGER”
cooking and cleaning
For masta.
Or would I have been
A field “NIGGER” scars
On my lashed up back
For not picking cotton
Faster than that.
Would I have been A
Runaway “NIGGER” separated
From my wife and children
No turning back.
Would I been the rebellious
“NIGGER” gotten my dick
Cut off because that white
Mans wife was stairing to
Long…….
Get it…..
To…
Long….
Confederate flag flying
In the wind over my head
Where my children were
Lynced right in front of me.
Or would I’ve been a bitch
“NIGGER” fuck naw because
Ain’t no bitch “NIGGER” in
My.
D.N.A.
Fuck wit us!
To all my real “NIGGAZ”
And My real lady’s who don’t
Take no shit!
In there eyes we will always
Be a “NIGGER”! ✊
Any questions?
Nobody?
Good!
I don’t care……
I really don’t…
I’m on a conference call
With a cannibal.
One who eats balled up pens and paper phone calls to those upstate universitys.
Sending kites out to stop some unlawful assassination or assault on another faction in place.
Pace stopped now pacing slower, solar powered by some sunlight on some so called heroic…
I’ve been chosen again to raise my hand…
I had a decoy in my place my class mates told on me telling my teacher that I wasn’t present.
To a bench warrant, maybe if I’ve called out. Hell no! I ain’t going back into a trap like a rodent! They can’t steal my freedom again!
All praises due! Even the most high knows it’s true.
A drunken banshee kissed the chamber of the wrong rifle men. The front page was extinguished…
Well… The news… I’m not even going to start mentioning. Tripping that tricky mage into outer space… Burning like white sage always staying close to a bounty…
Fuck the City and the County………….
In slow motion………………
Reality Is The New Negativity Vol.1 
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