Thicker of the Thinning

Unjust!
I’m
So use to
This…
I
Just
Adjust
Can’t shake
It like angel dust
cold sweats
On this cold pavement
Onto a cold slab
Unzipped the black bag
Opened
From head to toe
They said that was the best part of the show 🎲🎰🪄🎩

“They think they know”

They dooo…
They think
they doooo…

You don’t listen
You compare.
You brush me off
Like you don’t care.
Clarify this shit…
As My diagnosis
rolls up off anothers
Tongues…

like
Water off a leaf
That’s weak…

Let me make it
Clear to those
Who won’t and
Don’t understand
That the issue
Can’t be compared
To you self
Diagnosis of me
Or yourself.

Boxed in a
A box in corner…
Small walls
I can’t peak over
Them.
With out…
I dare you to
speak… Making
Me more lonely…

“OH just do some breathing techniques and exercise. “

Ok that’s fine!
but It only
Last for a little
while!
You wonder why!
I Don’t smile!
I just
Need a stronger
Dose im on
Enough meds
To take a bull
Down!

Make me bitter
At all repetitive
remarks!

You!
Don’t!
Know!
Me!

Let me tell you
How it feels to
Be me!

Relationships/can’t
Going out in public/won’t
Being surrounded by
new people your
Friend knows/ I don’t think so…

I can socialize
to an extent.
If I say something
Out of order…..
To the huddle…
You may or may
Not hear me
keep apologizing……..

So my isolated
My inner and outer
Being…….

These issues with
in me.

Can only be exposed
If you know me….
Or sometimes not
I just feel…
Real tire…
So good night…

O ya…
I forgot…

Most times group
With a bunch of
Me’s and yous can…
Maybe even a hand
Full can understand me…

Only!

My mind
Is…

Mostly out of
Order………

I never asked for
A pity party ………

They Gone Go

You can
have the
best dick
in the universe!
You can
have the
greatest
pussy of
all times!

You can
be honest,
loyal!
You can
give all
your love,
give the
Perfect
Balance
Of affection!
You can
be rich,
wealthy,
all of thee
Above!

Helll! You
can be a
Fuxking
famous
star!

You could
have done
whatever
they wanted
Gave whatever
They desired
Or thought
They deserved!

If they
gone
cheat on
you!
They Gone
cheat on
you!
It’s nothing
you can do………….
Don’t try
to fix it
coz it wasn’t
you!

Fuxk the
excuses,
Those
narcissistic
Point of
Views………….

The blaming,
Finger wagging,
The misery
They put you
Through…

There
misbehaving!
All The
moral
indecency
Projected
On to you!

Cheating on
someone….
is…..
A selfish
thing that
causes a
Traumatic
Feeling,
trust issues,
it’s mentality
abusive…
It can get
Physical….
If they
can cheat
on you once
Then they
will damn
sure
cheat on
you again………….

“NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS!
ITS NOT YOUR FAULT AT ALL
WHY THEY DID IT!!!”

Male/female.. Whatever the fuxk you young mah fuxkaz identify as or go by.

Browning Of The Roux

“Browning Of The Roux”

Quit bitching
Folk.

You’d probably
Throw up.

All in your
Mouth till you choke.

Can I get
A witness from.

Those who
Have been.

Subjected
To all types.

Of murder
Entrapments.

Oppression,
War, discrimination,
PTSD.

Hold up
Now!

Real PTSD
From rebel enemies.

Infidels to
See your well being.

Lifeless, loving
Less, teenager’s.

Killers with Chips
in there britches.

Masked up
Then home invaded.

Ransom shit
Stripped till humiliated.

Starving for the,
Lost betters.

From a bitter
No better life.

Always, off,
Scedual…

Fuck Your
Money!!

Though my
Tribe maybe starving…

Staying on
Dope just to gets sleep!

Drinking liquor to
Heal from the beating!!

Cocaine in my
Veins, staying awake!!!

For days!!!!

To dodge all
The heathens!!!!!

And if I bleed
Today!!!!!!

You will surely be
Murdered this evening!!!!!!!

They don’t give
A fuxk what we believe in…

BITCH IM BLAXKK!

BUT TO ALL MY
OPPRESSED ALL!

AROUND THE WORLD!
PLEASE DON’T BE SEATED!

EVEN IF DIFFERENT
CIRCUMSTANCES!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

THOUGH WAR MAYBE
INEVITABLE!

MOST OF THE
WORLD DONT GIVE!

A FUCK ABOUT
USSS!!

OR SHIT ABOUT
WHAT WE GO THROUGH!!

SAYING AND PRAYING
AND POSTING!

IS LIKE A FAD OR
BANDWAGON!

BUT IF YOU AINT
FIGHTING WITH US!

ALONGSIDE IN US!
ANYWAY!!

FUXK YA WORDS,
PROMISES, AID,
PROTEST!

LETS FIGHT
FOR OUR SELVES!

FOR BETTER PROGRESS!

KEEP YA SMILES
AND RACE OR RELIGION!

SPLAININGS!

CALL ME WHAT YOU
WANT!

THATS ALL YOU
GOOD AT IS HATING!!!

For Normalization

Bear with me…

I was never good with
Words. That’s why I
Barely spoken.

I knew what i wanted
To say. Then when my mouth
Opened. The words
Came out persecuted by contradiction.

I just want to be…

I’m not… I never will
Understand my ways
Or how I feel. Split
Personality, so we
Just talk to each other.
I know if I talk to myself
No one would make fun
Of or judge him….

Me…

You see…

I know this makes no
Sense. I forget numbers,
Dates, small things.
I struggle….
Every address I lived
I can only remember one of the numbers.

Bear with me…

I know I don’t make sense…

So frustrated, embracing,
Alone, sad, madness. All the
Sorrows with titles. Quotes
Like Scripture from the bible.

King James…

I’d rather gaze into
80 percent of the
Quran.

Maybe someone linked to a prophet…

Maybe a May bee sweating over honey.

I picked up a gun
Before a book. Didn’t
Learn to read till I was a
adult.

All praise due to
The Almighty. Blessing
Me with a paper and pen.
Yet they still don’t here me.
Like they never understood
me then…

They say I speak in
Riddles soo…

Riddle me this…

Decode my words!
Behold the thought!
When teeth don’t show!
That means my pen
Will be a tattoo needle for
Exposure!

My woes will be jotted!
You could snort them
In lines then!

Try to..

Bear with the two headed
Viper crying! Some
Thoughts crippled
Till my mind has delayed
Then deleted!

All I ask is for you to bear with me…

Believe it……..

You Can’t Send Trauma To The North

Any questions?



Nobody?


Good!


I don’t care……






I really don’t…



I’m on a conference call

With a cannibal.



One who eats balled up pens and paper phone calls to those upstate universitys.

Sending kites out to stop some unlawful assassination or assault on another faction in place.

Pace stopped now pacing slower, solar powered by some sunlight on some so called heroic…

I’ve been chosen again to raise my hand…

I had a decoy in my place my class mates told on me telling my teacher that I wasn’t present.


To a bench warrant, maybe if I’ve called out. Hell no! I ain’t going back into a trap like a rodent! They can’t steal my freedom again!

All praises due! Even the most high knows it’s true.



A drunken banshee kissed the chamber of the wrong rifle men. The front page was extinguished…



Well… The news… I’m not even going to start mentioning. Tripping that tricky mage into outer space… Burning like white sage always staying close to a bounty…

Fuck the City and the County………….

In slow motion………………

I hope I can stay here… If not… Fuck it…

Knock knock!

Then the call to me after…

“They said they want to talk to you…”

For what…

“Some bullshit…”

I laughed a these fisher men…

With badges on chains…

I’ve moved away…

An changed…

Still I remain…

The bad man in discussions…

Nothing matter when you’ve…

Been down this body slammed road…

Situations common like this…

I can’t even blink my eyes without…

Being pulled over an frisk…

Stopped on the street…

“You fit the description of…”

Let me guess…

A robbery…

Suspect…

Guns to my face…

Then released without even a…

“Sorry!”

Maybe I’m just in the wrong skin…

Or maybe it’s just a coincidence…

All I know is I’m use to my rights…

Being abused…

A grown ass man on time out…

That’s there plan…

The American dream…

When I can…

I’m getting a passport…

And getting the helll…

Out of this lemonade stand…

When life handz me that lemon…

Bye bye uncle Sam….

Gangstaz Geography

Taken over by a new piracy…

I was called in yesterday…

To change things…

Reminding the unreminded that…

We were once like them…

Thee most Blood thirsty worst…

Divided…

Plus!

That’s not my life enymore…

Stop being afraid to teach them…

What life is…

How to survive it…

Instead of criticisin…

I can’t save everbody…

knowing if I were still there…

It would be less violent…

Not my Words…

Look…

I’m just a nobody…

That ain’t my city no more….

Even if I was somebody…

Who am I to keep situations in order…

 

Nothing like a hood T.K.O…….

 

 

Smile For Me

Someone today
asked me…
Asked me a
question that…
I’ve been hearing
my whole life…
Why don’t I ever
smile…?
This person
was sitting
in a chair on there
porch…
with there
company…
I looked up at
that person…
There company…
With my face
Already Spoken…
For its self…
I just kept
walking…
How rude is that…?

Why don’t I smile…?
I’ve been like this
since I was child…
I grew
up in a family that
was very wild….
Verry… wild…
I never had a chance…
Walking around
with my fists balled
up…
The person that
was supposed to
Be my protector…
A Rejector…
Always
beat me…
With a
thick black
belt…
He gave it a
Name…
I think it was
Mr bass…?
Sometimes he used his bare hands…
So ask me…
Tell me how could
Or why I should trust
another woman
or man…
Hopelessly scared…

No doubt, I’ve had
Many challenges my
whole life…
Moving
from apartment to
apartment…
House to house…
Even in the middle of the night…
I couldn’t
make friends…
manifesting my anger…
Within…

Golden rules in…
Different schools…
Into different
streets…
I dealt with heat…
Some shady folk that
wanted to beef…
A Fist fights delight…
Shoot outs…
In…
My youthfulness…
Daysss…
My life could
have been lost
in a blaze….

No matter how much
I hurted, ached…
I never received
hospital service…
Flash backs
from shell rocks
boulevards…
Blood stained candles
Lit…
Candle light visuals
left on the corners…

Some
times…
It mentally…
Physically…
Hurts to
walk past some
spots…
Thoughts of old
friends…
There lives
tragically stolen…
came to a closing…
Days
and months…
In and
out…
I’ve witnessed
The many deaths…
Had many tests…
Overtime
my…
Experiences
became my
facial expressions…

From
jail to jail…
Causing
my lifestyle
to derail….
Somedays…
Bad…
Horrible…
Worst-cases…
Don’t get me blue…
There were some
good days…
Just
more bad than
good…
The hood……
Magnified my
Expressions…
For good…

Blood Over The Stolen Hill

I believe I
was a…
Apache in
a former
life…
Sharpening
my tomahawk…
With stones…
Draped my
Face
Drenched
Over war
paint…
Finger
tips
Dipped in
the blood
from my
adversary’s…
Treacherous…
I was chief
A running gun
Five star
Buffalo
general…
Tougher
Then
bull
Horns…
Calcium
That was
strong…
Like
The aroma
of menthol…
Giving out
orders…
Raising thee
Young…
Wise
tribe in
Native pride…
Proudly…
Many
died on
that
hill yet…
We
Keep
them in
our prayers…
We
pushed back
our intruders
infantry block…
Mowing
down the
lives thee
Unworthy
opposition…
Pale white
Dirty skin,
Filty men…
Trying
to take our
land
Kill and
Rape our
Wives
And children
for
to satisfy
There own
Evil greedy
Needs…
I screamed…
This tribal
Chant…
This Soil
And moss
Rivers
And animals
I will protect
Everyone
With in it
In peace…
If it’s
Blood you
Seek…
It will
Be your
Own
blood
You will
See…
We did battle…
After
those
long
wars
Those
enemy’s
were
demolished…
They will
Have no
Choices…
As
Always
The
respected
Elder…
For our
bravery…
My men
will be
Recognize…
Till the
death of
Me… I’ll
Inherited
war like
mentality
Lost… to
Be slaughtered
In hatred…
Still I strive
To leave in
Peaces of
Moss….
Never forgotten
ancestors
Of the Apache…