“They think they know”

They dooo…
They think
they doooo…

You don’t listen
You compare.
You brush me off
Like you don’t care.
Clarify this shit…
As My diagnosis
rolls up off anothers
Tongues…

like
Water off a leaf
That’s weak…

Let me make it
Clear to those
Who won’t and
Don’t understand
That the issue
Can’t be compared
To you self
Diagnosis of me
Or yourself.

Boxed in a
A box in corner…
Small walls
I can’t peak over
Them.
With out…
I dare you to
speak… Making
Me more lonely…

“OH just do some breathing techniques and exercise. “

Ok that’s fine!
but It only
Last for a little
while!
You wonder why!
I Don’t smile!
I just
Need a stronger
Dose im on
Enough meds
To take a bull
Down!

Make me bitter
At all repetitive
remarks!

You!
Don’t!
Know!
Me!

Let me tell you
How it feels to
Be me!

Relationships/can’t
Going out in public/won’t
Being surrounded by
new people your
Friend knows/ I don’t think so…

I can socialize
to an extent.
If I say something
Out of order…..
To the huddle…
You may or may
Not hear me
keep apologizing……..

So my isolated
My inner and outer
Being…….

These issues with
in me.

Can only be exposed
If you know me….
Or sometimes not
I just feel…
Real tire…
So good night…

O ya…
I forgot…

Most times group
With a bunch of
Me’s and yous can…
Maybe even a hand
Full can understand me…

Only!

My mind
Is…

Mostly out of
Order………

I never asked for
A pity party ………

Salt and Mud

You left me stranded

So I drowned in
Gun fire, Jack Daniels
And 40oz”s

Drama, flying saucers
Bullets lost in
brick walls

Lodged

In house furniture
Sold out slugs

Copper tops tree top
Pirus

Cookie cutters

My Dimu called
Them bookie
Butters

Like he
Had a speech
Impediment

Thats just Blood
edicate

Raised hell
A bit

To intelligent

In a cell a bit

Letters never
Sent never
Touched

like
They were
Celabate

You
Never sent
A letter back

The child
That was once
Beaten blue

Brused for
For nothing

By you

Clutching a belt
Shaped as a “U”

Ungrateful
And unfaithful like
Samson

So

I stay absent

Like you

Birddy Canary

I feel like

Silence is

The answer

To a mathematical

Problem

The equation

Space

To make

A novel

Praised

For the

Use to

Silence-err

Couldn’t see

What I mean

With a monical

You couldn’t

Feel my Words

With a key

To catch

Up with

the day

Locked

Out of

Thankfulls

And thank

you’s

Your own

Answer

Or is it

Protection

For what’s

To come

A mediphor

Unpluged

Giving you

The truth

In the

Feeling

Of what

Is why

I go by

And go

Through

As a silencer

No fake

Smiles

To pardon

You

From death

Till only

I am left

Oh Catastrophic

“Oh Catastrophic”

“Like us !”

Don’t dress how we use to.
Don’t keep our self up like we use to.
Don’t do things like we use to.

This is beyond depression…
Inside spirit a hollow oak tree…
Bound to a ships…
Anchor…

War inside…
No choice but to survive…
They all suggested instead…
That I…
Instead of just listing to I…
“Everybody feels like this sometimes…”
Is what’s been said

Like yoga and breathing technology will be the end all…
Please shut the fuck up!
This can’t be helped…
Sedate me…
With A mega dose…

I’m far beyond your reality…
Irritated response comes off as hatred…
Naw…
I just hate being me…
My mind comes off as vacancy…
It’s just a rundown trap house…

It’s just so full…
Of many things like raging pain in tall viles suffering, sins, stress and struggling…

To comprehend this life…
This fowl bitch ain’t for us…
It’s only designed for them…

You don’t think like me…
Move like me…
Get tired of trying to prove like me…

Stuck in quick sands open belly…
Up to the neck barely breathing…
Stop!
Don’t make a camp fire out of my…
Forest fire….

You ain’t me…

I’m not you…

My face looks like it’s stuck on violent… When it’s stuck on problems…
Ones that can’t be solved in…
A hard back dictionary…
Clinging to nonfictinary…

Why must I fight myself to end…
As a quotation after the exlimation…

Mark…

I struggle like no other…
Like a failed mission or a unfinished… Kitchen…
Black droors without utensils…
I’m tense all over…
In every sense…
Back tured counter clockwise from happiness…

Fuck it…

Exhaustion…

Stop breathing…

A nobody…

Will only be my legacy…

No one notices as human…
Us!

So they can’t miss who or what they never perceive…

Incurable…

“Like us !”

Don’t dress how we use to.
Don’t keep our self up like we use to.
Don’t do things like we use to.

This is beyond depression…
Inside spirit a hollow oak tree…
Bound to a ships…
Anchor…

War inside…
No choice but to survive…
They all suggested instead…
That I…
Instead of just listing to I…
“Everybody feels like this sometimes…”
Is what’s been said

Like yoga and breathing technology will be the end all…
Please shut the fuck up!
This can’t be helped…
Sedate me…
With A mega dose…

For Normalization

Bear with me…

I was never good with
Words. That’s why I
Barely spoken.

I knew what i wanted
To say. Then when my mouth
Opened. The words
Came out persecuted by contradiction.

I just want to be…

I’m not… I never will
Understand my ways
Or how I feel. Split
Personality, so we
Just talk to each other.
I know if I talk to myself
No one would make fun
Of or judge him….

Me…

You see…

I know this makes no
Sense. I forget numbers,
Dates, small things.
I struggle….
Every address I lived
I can only remember one of the numbers.

Bear with me…

I know I don’t make sense…

So frustrated, embracing,
Alone, sad, madness. All the
Sorrows with titles. Quotes
Like Scripture from the bible.

King James…

I’d rather gaze into
80 percent of the
Quran.

Maybe someone linked to a prophet…

Maybe a May bee sweating over honey.

I picked up a gun
Before a book. Didn’t
Learn to read till I was a
adult.

All praise due to
The Almighty. Blessing
Me with a paper and pen.
Yet they still don’t here me.
Like they never understood
me then…

They say I speak in
Riddles soo…

Riddle me this…

Decode my words!
Behold the thought!
When teeth don’t show!
That means my pen
Will be a tattoo needle for
Exposure!

My woes will be jotted!
You could snort them
In lines then!

Try to..

Bear with the two headed
Viper crying! Some
Thoughts crippled
Till my mind has delayed
Then deleted!

All I ask is for you to bear with me…

Believe it……..

Stop trying to make them understand what they never will……

Hmmmm”

If I was a “NIGGER”
what kind of “NIGGER”
would I have been?

Would I have been
A house “NIGGER”
cooking and cleaning
For masta.

Or would I have been
A field “NIGGER” scars
On my lashed up back
For not picking cotton
Faster than that.

Would I have been A
Runaway “NIGGER” separated
From my wife and children
No turning back.

Would I been the rebellious
“NIGGER” gotten my dick
Cut off because that white
Mans wife was stairing to
Long…….

Get it…..

To…

Long….

Confederate flag flying
In the wind over my head
Where my children were
Lynced right in front of me.

Or would I’ve been a bitch
“NIGGER” fuck naw because
Ain’t no bitch “NIGGER” in
My.

D.N.A.

Fuck wit us!

To all my real “NIGGAZ”
And My real lady’s who don’t
Take no shit!

In there eyes we will always
Be a “NIGGER”! ✊

Gold Chains and Rings

(First and foremost… I’d like to say rest in peace “lil Game” and to the pigs who murdered you!  May they die in the worst way! Love you yooo and I’ll see you when I get there!💪☝✊✊✊)

 

 

Touch my hand between plexiglass… The big hand holds the small hand you have placed… When a man is down in helplessness… In any rocky situation….

A lion caught, caged brought to the zoo… He needs your plexiglass touch… Even if it frees him for 15 mins…

“Don’t talk!”

Just look him in his darkness without lips to tell…. Him something to give him hope… Making him feel human again…

“Down and out!”

Knowing he has you to… Get him through the bad times… Plus his darkness of days…

“You guys are liers!

“If you say men don’t cry”

What happens when the letters of love and promises stop? The ones you’ve sent him all along… He will stop caring about life and humanity…

“Throughout my personal experiences in life…”

 

The real women…

The strong women…

“Doesn’t have to mean physical…”

 

Just Strong enough to lead a man’s heart into the broken clock he became…

“He powerfully tick again!”

“Yes abandonment issues are real in human nature!”

Every women is made for a man vice versa… You don’t have to be physically there to hold him close… If he knows you’ll always hold him down…

 

 

Your love for a man…

 

 

“Because a real man is. A man with a back bone who protects and has heart! To give more then he receives!”

 

Only the strong survive…

If you love him truly…

Heal his heart and soul!

You shall receive his warmth forever….

 

 

“Those gold chains and Rings babeeeee!”

 

Never Blame The Surface… Blame The Air Quality…

Your the Websters book definition of fuck off…

You made me have to leave you…

I didn’t want to…

Truth be told…

We shared the same dreams that tighten our hearts together…

We were so close to something I wanted the most…

I could never tell if you wanted the same…

You said you loved me…

What a weak ass display…

I feel like I was more of your project…

Maybe you even used me…

I’ll keep my ears open and eyes shut to have full control of my sensory…

Learning a valuable…

Never to make mistakes that you already see coming…

Go with your gut…

Or be killed by the vipers poison…

The first time you feel it’s just something not rite…

Get your block bottons ready…

And keep on stepping!

From the ultimate distribution of hurt…

Wrench artworks..

They do this as a sport…

Sometimes there…

So narcissistic that…

They don’t even no…

It’s still hurts though…

Just don’t rage on…

Your worth way batter than that…

I’m wonderful!

 

 

 

Never Caught Down Bad

Ghost peppers don’t compare to the heat in the streets.

Shootings!

Bullets crossing like the letter X.

He gotten pinned between two cars taking cover.

Soon!

He got out of his situation quickly.

Returning the fire.

Smartening  up!

Reading the oppositions magazine count.

The pattern of how many copper tops the opposition would throw out.

Pow! 1

Pow! Pow! 2 3

Pow! Pow! Pow! 6

Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!  12

Little planes flew annoyingly. Simultaneously getting realoaded rappidly.

Hearing the bussing of car doors an glass wind shields. He quietly pulled himself up advancing to the opposition.

One man cover fire!

Hailing flames back at him in self defense. The opposition went to reload.

To be shoot down…

Sometimes you just got to do what is the only necessary thing to live. Then vanish like the food you just put out for the kids.

The city where I’m from. If you get caught in a bad situation with no protection.

We call it….

“Yo got caught down bad”!

Being On This Side Of The Globe Isn’t All What It Seems

A carousel…

Spinning…

In the middle of the Atlantic and pacific scorched hells dark Haiti.

Peeling the face off happyness…

Stitching the face of my peoples poverty on unhappy faces.

Systematic depression turn men and women into killers…

Songs from the carousel are the screams of the innocent inner city beings invisible to the east.

Visibly…

You will see me watching the carousel spin out of control. Watching in the far.  The four horses corpses flaming skulls.

Some have skin barely on them.

Black burned ashy bones.

Up and down…

Up and down the horses go…

Dont dare try to ride them. These are the new four horse men of the apocalypse…

On each horse bringing civil war…

Pointing!

With there facial expressions all disapointed.

Ready to wreak havoc…

Looking…

Staring…

Pointing to the west…

Some say it’s the best side…

Whatever…

If I had infinite cash. I still wouldn’t buy myself anymore time…

On earth…

It’s all over…

What once was….

Will be torn from…