The Man

 

 

I think you only see the flaws in me.

I think you forget that I’m a human being.

This little light of mine.

Will never shine.

We will never see eye to eye.

So my flame will slowly die.

I spy with my brown eyes.

Someone in the world that hates me.

That has no faith in me.

Is always mistaking me.

Please!

What more can you take from me?

Loose Screws

(A oldie right here)

 

Discarded…

Brave hearted…

A combination of Wellbutrin and dilaudid…

If I was ever your target you missed…

I’m heavily bothered…

Disconnected from life like your phone charger…

Pardon me…

Fuck it…

Why call her…

Like a poor man turned robber…

Screaming, crying inside like your new born daughter…

A lingering life of violence that wont move with out a starter…

A hovering presence of death that stays behind me like a stalker…

One thing that I hate in life is a loud talker…

Go head and get your gun boy so I can finish what you started…

You just broke…

Didn’t ask for help…

Now you starving…

I rose  from the bottom of the trash can in the streets like a bag of garbage…

Don’t get aggravated with me lady…

I promise…

I wont harm him…

If he ever swerves out of his lane again…

I’ll correct him like a problem…

Eventually if you keep throwing rocks at a humble giant for to long…

You will be dearly departed…

War is for the wolves not sheep…

You’re a grown ass man….

When you go get dutch’s and cigarettes from the corner store…

You still get carded…

You still wet behind the ears…

Me…

I’m just discarded…

SORRY MAMA BUT I’M GOING FEDERAL

(Yet another shitty oldie)

 

 

 

I’m tired of living where the sun never shines…

 

 

 

where the birds are afraid to chirp in the morning…

 

 

 

Where the bad things only get worst…

 

 

 

No hope at all….

 

 

 

I’m tired of where I live…

 

 

 

It’s dangerous and filled with drug addicts, teenage killers and rapist…

 

 

 

God save us…

 

 

 

I’m tired of coming home to the same things…

 

 

 

Six people in a two bed room apartment…

 

 

 

My hopes and dream claustrophobic…

 

 

 

Constricted boa by negativitys limited possibility’s…

 

 
I’m 12 years old…

 

 

 

I’m starving…

 

 

 

I’m tired of eating all this instant ramen…

 

 

 

Left over cheese stakes and greasy fries…

 

 

 

Fried chicken boxes from the corner store…

 

 

 

That’s all my mother could afford…

 

 

 

I’m tired of sharing my clothes with my brothers…

 

 

 

Stealing socks out of there bags…

 

 

 

Mine weren’t clean…

 

 

 

Also I was down to my last pair…

 

 
I’m tired of going to the market with my mother…

 

 

 

Getting items that later…

 

 

 

To put some items back…

 

 

 

Mom said we could afford them…

 

 

 

We couldn’t!

 

 

 

So back on the shelf they before we go go.

 

 

 

I’m tired of the other kids laughing at my clothes…

 

 

 

Them old hand me downs from a different time zone…

 

 

 

I’ll show them later on!

 

 

 

Not to laugh at me!

 

 

 

I’m tired of being broke…

 

 

 

I’m tired of being everyones joke…

 

 

 

I’m tired of being against the ropes…

 

 

 

The ropes of poverty…

 

 

 

I’m tired of living grimy…

 

 

 

I’m tired of crying silently…

 

 

 

Lights out!!

 

 

 

Bills piling!

 

 

 

Our stomachs growling…

 

 

 

Mom crying!

 

 

 

Shes getting tired of trying…

 

 

 

Violence in the worst timing…

 

 

 

Trying not to start robbing…

 

 

 

Trying to live righteous…

 

 

 

I coax with family members…

 

 

 

Get me life insurance…

 

 

 

Debating with them about life inequity…

 

 

 

With bad pictures of the past…

 

 

 

There were no perfect pictures at all…

 

 

 

So as I get older…

 

 

 

I saw that its time for me to take risks…

 

 

 

For better picks…

 

 

 

Please pray for me ma ma…

 

 

 

I’m going federal this year…

 

 

 

No more tears…

DESPAIR IS MY NAME

(A older one)

 

I got to get this off my chest…

All the rage I bare in me…

They won’t accept me for me from first site…

why?

I’m already feel guilty…

From my past…

I changed…

Only to be back at square one…

A loaded gun to my head!

Is what you gave me!

Pulled the trigger on my hopes attached to dreams!

I still feel like I’m running through the woods…

Trying to escape my former masters from enslavement…

 

 

DESPAIR IS MY NAME!

You’ve closed the window’s on my fingers…

You shut the doors in my face…

So what am I suppose to do?

How will I live?

How will I support myself?

My family…

I’m hungry at night…

Do I starve?

Waiting for a hand out…

Or do I take action?

What do I do?

 

 

DESPAIR IS MY NAME!

This treadmill of lies!

Promising me change!

Change for Better living!

Its all just a sham!

Don’t believe it!

Politicians!

Whatever!

Heath care!

Forget about it!

Social security!

Don’t make me laugh…

Spit on your shoes!

 

 

DESPAIR IS MY NAME!

 

GLASS MIST PAINS PORTRAIT

(Yet another old one for yall)

 

 

You and me were suppose to be…

Until a sea of pain bought title waves…

Who’s to blame…

For our darkest days…

Many words were said…

Before I put you to bed…

You told me not to leave…

Why would I stay…

Your words were hurricanes…

Your actions were the same…

The past bought lots of rain…

Dark storms that came…

Your shirt soaked in tears…

My hearts deepest pain…

Then the storms came…

Over and over and over…

GOD!

The pain!

Came closer and closer…

Driving me insane…

No blue sky’s for us…

No sunny days…

Ever came…

Your shirt soaked in tears again…

I’m sorry!

I can not stay…

Trying to please you will kill me…

Who’s to blame…

WHO I SAY?

These will always be…

My darkest days…

Please…

No pain for me…

I wont become your slave…

Lord knows those were my darkest days…

For that I blame…

All those rainy days…

The rainy days….

Bright thunder storms…

That came…

Love… is… pain…

Love… is…

(PAIN- 1 any unpleasant bodily sensation produced by illness, accident etc. 2 MENTAL SUFFERING!!!!)

I SURRENDER 

(Oldie right here)

 

 

I surrender…

Speed I need!

Running and running jumping fence after fence!

My shirt got caught on the gate!

Dogs barking, police sirens, helicopters circling, hovering low with search lights in the sky!

As I try to accumulate speed!

I need more air!

The wind has been knocked out of me by five black boots!

Shining chain link badges!

Standing over me in my face!

I taste blood in my mouth!

Salty, irony, gritty blood!

It’s over…

After I regain consciousness!

I opened my eyes…

I see sharp dressed suite to a tee standing in front of me…

While I lay on a hospital bed…

Inquisitions fly at me at top speed!

They realize two days later that it was mistaking identity…

Not even a apology…

Only hand cuffs taken off me…

Even a huge hospital bill…

WHY ME!?

P.T.S.D

(One of my favs oldies)

 

 

It’s only one of me…

I’ll fight all ten of y’all!

I can’t think!

Anger brewing tattooing a image of bruises on you!

I don’t even know why I am so mean sometimes…

Why I have bad dreams, flash backs of bullets coming threw my wind shield!

The life of my passenger taken…

Lord have mercy!

Rest in peace!

Your enemy has taken a permanent nap!

Don’t like my book…

CLOSE IT!

You think you tougher than me…

SHOW IT!

The only person I fear is the man in the mirror!

No big words twists turns or metaphors…

Just true facts intact…

Verbally waterboarding you to death…

A mind that seen know Christmas or thanksgivings!

With family members!

Just fist fights!

Small iron battles in the middle of the streets!

Cold prison sentences…

23 and 1… 24/7

With no nice bed sheets or throw pillows…

So what does life mean to you!?

Mine is a constant fight for survival!

Post traumatic stress disorder is my only friends and family….

FORCE OF LOVE

(Old one I hated)

 

 

I want you to…

Be yourself…                                                                                                                            I want you to…

I want you to…

I want you to whisper in my ear and say…

That you love me…

Don’t abuse it!

Mean It!                                                                                                                                  Don’t refuse it!

Seek it!

I wan’t you to…

Grow old with me…

I wan’t you to…

Be there for me…

Take care of me…

I’ll return to you…

Nurture our love and a rose will grow out from your iron heart. Our ways will never part for you’re my greatest art.

You and me…                                                                                                                            Me and you…

Time is thin…                                                                                                                            Show me yours…                                                                                                                      I’ll show you mine…                                                                                                                The sky is yours…                                                                                                                    The earth is mine…                                                                                                                   Give me you…                                                                                                                            All of you…                                                                                                                                Give me hope…                                                                                                                       Be my dope…                                                                                                                           I’m high on you…                                                                                                                     I wan’t to overdose…

Off you…

Your kiss is my abyss…

Lost in…                                                                                                                                  For you I’ll take a risk…                                                                                                          Give me kiss give me kiss…

Please don’t shade your heart behind tinted windows and cheap cosmetics.

I want you just the way you are!

No one but me will ever see the true beauty you possess!

Just put me to the test!

I’ll burn down all of your stress!

I am a pain arsonist!

My flames will hold us together like these sentences I endeavor!

ACHIEVEMENT FAILED!

In my sincerest words to you…

Give me your heart or I’m taking it.

I want you!

THE GHOST OF RELATIONSHIPS PAST

 

(Another one of my favorite oldies)

 

Remnants of you still remain in my minds open plains. A field of open lies, broken ties! Torture that left my eyes blind to what I have seen!

 

Yet you still leave your foot prints all through my head. I can still feel you close when your not there. You where the true air of the throne! baring my naked lonly heart….

 

Your scent still pervades off my red bed sheets! Dark side on the other side of my bed were my Queen use to sleep… The next women in my life will always be the archetype.

 

Of you…

 

My feeling’s for her will be the same as ours were…

Its not fair!

I don’t care!

I still want you!

Next to You…

Possessed the unprepossessing me…                                                                                  You took over me…                                                                                                                  You weaken me…                                                                                                                    I couldn’t sleep…

You would make me…                                                                                                             Your love was a vaccine to me…                                                                                          I haven’t dated in three years…

knowing another women would just see the pain in me…

The shame in me…                                                                                                                  The rage in me…                                                                                                                       No taming me…                                                                                                                       You still haunt me…

I’m not me…

A GHOST!

You….

Are….

To….

Me….

I AM

(An older post)

 

I’m a walking cannon in the flesh just test me…

You’ll see…

I’m really truly blessed…

I got a lot of demons up in me.

When it comes to war…

I’m the best!

If you look me in my eyes…

Those nightmares you’ll  see…

When I inhale air…

I exhale death…

My lungs are like fire in the first degree…

I try to stay away from liars…

Trying to get the truth…

Its like pulling teeth…

Your tone of voice is very shaky…

Put some base in your chest when you talk to me!

Keen on body language…

I see you are in fear of me!

A life of crime was always haunted by my actions…

So my actions…

Please set me free…

Miraculously I clung to life when your bullets entered me…

Can’t you see…

Can’t you feel…

Can’t you hear…

Can’t you smell…

Cant you taste…

All the elements that I embody…

I’m the darkness on feet…

The sun light never revolved around me…

Cold as a wintry Niagara falls frozen over in ice…

I stand taller than the Washington monument!

Symbolizing that my skin is made of stone!

My heart you could never get to!

Even if you took the long never ending stairs to it…

I’m deaths immortal son of anarchy’s past present and future…

Try me!

you’ll see!