Thicker of the Thinning

Unjust!
I’m
So use to
This…
I
Just
Adjust
Can’t shake
It like angel dust
cold sweats
On this cold pavement
Onto a cold slab
Unzipped the black bag
Opened
From head to toe
They said that was the best part of the show 🎲🎰🪄🎩

Birddy Canary

I feel like

Silence is

The answer

To a mathematical

Problem

The equation

Space

To make

A novel

Praised

For the

Use to

Silence-err

Couldn’t see

What I mean

With a monical

You couldn’t

Feel my Words

With a key

To catch

Up with

the day

Locked

Out of

Thankfulls

And thank

you’s

Your own

Answer

Or is it

Protection

For what’s

To come

A mediphor

Unpluged

Giving you

The truth

In the

Feeling

Of what

Is why

I go by

And go

Through

As a silencer

No fake

Smiles

To pardon

You

From death

Till only

I am left

Browning Of The Roux

“Browning Of The Roux”

Quit bitching
Folk.

You’d probably
Throw up.

All in your
Mouth till you choke.

Can I get
A witness from.

Those who
Have been.

Subjected
To all types.

Of murder
Entrapments.

Oppression,
War, discrimination,
PTSD.

Hold up
Now!

Real PTSD
From rebel enemies.

Infidels to
See your well being.

Lifeless, loving
Less, teenager’s.

Killers with Chips
in there britches.

Masked up
Then home invaded.

Ransom shit
Stripped till humiliated.

Starving for the,
Lost betters.

From a bitter
No better life.

Always, off,
Scedual…

Fuck Your
Money!!

Though my
Tribe maybe starving…

Staying on
Dope just to gets sleep!

Drinking liquor to
Heal from the beating!!

Cocaine in my
Veins, staying awake!!!

For days!!!!

To dodge all
The heathens!!!!!

And if I bleed
Today!!!!!!

You will surely be
Murdered this evening!!!!!!!

They don’t give
A fuxk what we believe in…

BITCH IM BLAXKK!

BUT TO ALL MY
OPPRESSED ALL!

AROUND THE WORLD!
PLEASE DON’T BE SEATED!

EVEN IF DIFFERENT
CIRCUMSTANCES!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

THOUGH WAR MAYBE
INEVITABLE!

MOST OF THE
WORLD DONT GIVE!

A FUCK ABOUT
USSS!!

OR SHIT ABOUT
WHAT WE GO THROUGH!!

SAYING AND PRAYING
AND POSTING!

IS LIKE A FAD OR
BANDWAGON!

BUT IF YOU AINT
FIGHTING WITH US!

ALONGSIDE IN US!
ANYWAY!!

FUXK YA WORDS,
PROMISES, AID,
PROTEST!

LETS FIGHT
FOR OUR SELVES!

FOR BETTER PROGRESS!

KEEP YA SMILES
AND RACE OR RELIGION!

SPLAININGS!

CALL ME WHAT YOU
WANT!

THATS ALL YOU
GOOD AT IS HATING!!!

For Normalization

Bear with me…

I was never good with
Words. That’s why I
Barely spoken.

I knew what i wanted
To say. Then when my mouth
Opened. The words
Came out persecuted by contradiction.

I just want to be…

I’m not… I never will
Understand my ways
Or how I feel. Split
Personality, so we
Just talk to each other.
I know if I talk to myself
No one would make fun
Of or judge him….

Me…

You see…

I know this makes no
Sense. I forget numbers,
Dates, small things.
I struggle….
Every address I lived
I can only remember one of the numbers.

Bear with me…

I know I don’t make sense…

So frustrated, embracing,
Alone, sad, madness. All the
Sorrows with titles. Quotes
Like Scripture from the bible.

King James…

I’d rather gaze into
80 percent of the
Quran.

Maybe someone linked to a prophet…

Maybe a May bee sweating over honey.

I picked up a gun
Before a book. Didn’t
Learn to read till I was a
adult.

All praise due to
The Almighty. Blessing
Me with a paper and pen.
Yet they still don’t here me.
Like they never understood
me then…

They say I speak in
Riddles soo…

Riddle me this…

Decode my words!
Behold the thought!
When teeth don’t show!
That means my pen
Will be a tattoo needle for
Exposure!

My woes will be jotted!
You could snort them
In lines then!

Try to..

Bear with the two headed
Viper crying! Some
Thoughts crippled
Till my mind has delayed
Then deleted!

All I ask is for you to bear with me…

Believe it……..

Heart Attack

Concealed the feelings I have for you…

Just like you wanted me to…

 

Feelings don’t matter when war is envolved…

This war I feel I can’t solve…

 

Do I give up on what I want?

Do I let go of who I know?

 

Is this a lesson or some trick?

To see how long I can hold out on this…

 

Will I just give up…

Or just let it be what it is…

 

I can want…

All I want…

 

What I want…

Will never want me…

 

So honestly…

I choose to move on quietly…

 

 

Quiet walk back to where I stared. All those months ago. I know I actually don’t deserve a chance. Chasing after a chance will only make your white shoes dirty. Your love I want to be my dietary supplement. Fuck it! It’s been to damn long…

So what do I do?

Stay in pain…

Rejected…

Or do I move on….

In your quilitys…

If I’m not worth it to you….

Then I’m gone…

 

Till no view……

“Maya Rudolph” I Hear You….

I can’t help it that I’m pail…

I can’t help it that I’m light skinned…

I can’t help it that I’m only 40% african…

But….

I don’t give a damn if you don’t except it!

I don’t give a damn if you don’t except me!

Threaten me!

G- check me!

Culture check me!

Can’t figured out my nationality!

I’m so damn mixed up….

 

 

It is what it is…

You ain’t gunna fight me!

So shut ya lips!

If you want to fight me…

I promise to break your ribs…

 

 

For your imfo… I’m not a stranger to criticism. Name calling… Most races think I’m eather this or that decent. I can’t help it from ancestors cross breeding…

Some were by choice… Some were by rape…

I’ll admit! I use to let these things crush me. Crush me that I didn’t no my own identity… Now personally! I could give a damn what you like about me… I got into a fight the other day. I left him struggling to stand up on his feet…

Knuckles all bloody… So I packed my wounds with salt and soround wrapped them… A guy that was african… Said that I wasn’t real. He called me a half and half and continued to stair. He got what he asked for when shit really got real…

Obviously he didn’t no me… Or maybe he thought I was weak because I had on glasses…  Who knows… Still didn’t stop him from getting his ass kicked… Lord knows I didn’t want to “foot him a bill”…

See…

I am…

Peaceful…

Until…

You make…

Peace leave me…

I’m sorry everyone… I can’t help it that I’m a mixed breed….😧😧😧

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Faith In Bipolar Mistakes

The demons that walked backwards…

Facing forward…

To see into my thoughts…

Causing static flashbacks…

Trying to invite my savage past for a reunion…

I won’t go…

I can’t go…

Leave me and my mind alone!

I rebuke you monsters!

The agony that you didnt get off your shoes…

Tracking in the lowest hideous creations…

I don’t run from them…

I stand and fight!

No surrender and I Damn sure wasn’t retreating!

Damn Demons!

I will never ever let you get my mind to take over!

However…

They were clever…

They tryed so hard to pry in to!

Enticing me with the voices!

Promises of a make-believe unity/loyalty!

I was stronger than…

I thought though…

I manifested a holy water rain shower to help…

Pours Absorbed the holy liquid from the sky…

The sky were I stood under…

A giant crucifix dropped on to the lips of lies!

Crushing the demons that were present!

All thanks to Faith in The almighty…

I couldn’t have done it with out you…

Smile For Me

Someone today
asked me…
Asked me a
question that…
I’ve been hearing
my whole life…
Why don’t I ever
smile…?
This person
was sitting
in a chair on there
porch…
with there
company…
I looked up at
that person…
There company…
With my face
Already Spoken…
For its self…
I just kept
walking…
How rude is that…?

Why don’t I smile…?
I’ve been like this
since I was child…
I grew
up in a family that
was very wild….
Verry… wild…
I never had a chance…
Walking around
with my fists balled
up…
The person that
was supposed to
Be my protector…
A Rejector…
Always
beat me…
With a
thick black
belt…
He gave it a
Name…
I think it was
Mr bass…?
Sometimes he used his bare hands…
So ask me…
Tell me how could
Or why I should trust
another woman
or man…
Hopelessly scared…

No doubt, I’ve had
Many challenges my
whole life…
Moving
from apartment to
apartment…
House to house…
Even in the middle of the night…
I couldn’t
make friends…
manifesting my anger…
Within…

Golden rules in…
Different schools…
Into different
streets…
I dealt with heat…
Some shady folk that
wanted to beef…
A Fist fights delight…
Shoot outs…
In…
My youthfulness…
Daysss…
My life could
have been lost
in a blaze….

No matter how much
I hurted, ached…
I never received
hospital service…
Flash backs
from shell rocks
boulevards…
Blood stained candles
Lit…
Candle light visuals
left on the corners…

Some
times…
It mentally…
Physically…
Hurts to
walk past some
spots…
Thoughts of old
friends…
There lives
tragically stolen…
came to a closing…
Days
and months…
In and
out…
I’ve witnessed
The many deaths…
Had many tests…
Overtime
my…
Experiences
became my
facial expressions…

From
jail to jail…
Causing
my lifestyle
to derail….
Somedays…
Bad…
Horrible…
Worst-cases…
Don’t get me blue…
There were some
good days…
Just
more bad than
good…
The hood……
Magnified my
Expressions…
For good…