Thicker of the Thinning

Unjust!
I’m
So use to
This…
I
Just
Adjust
Can’t shake
It like angel dust
cold sweats
On this cold pavement
Onto a cold slab
Unzipped the black bag
Opened
From head to toe
They said that was the best part of the show 🎲🎰🪄🎩

“They think they know”

They dooo…
They think
they doooo…

You don’t listen
You compare.
You brush me off
Like you don’t care.
Clarify this shit…
As My diagnosis
rolls up off anothers
Tongues…

like
Water off a leaf
That’s weak…

Let me make it
Clear to those
Who won’t and
Don’t understand
That the issue
Can’t be compared
To you self
Diagnosis of me
Or yourself.

Boxed in a
A box in corner…
Small walls
I can’t peak over
Them.
With out…
I dare you to
speak… Making
Me more lonely…

“OH just do some breathing techniques and exercise. “

Ok that’s fine!
but It only
Last for a little
while!
You wonder why!
I Don’t smile!
I just
Need a stronger
Dose im on
Enough meds
To take a bull
Down!

Make me bitter
At all repetitive
remarks!

You!
Don’t!
Know!
Me!

Let me tell you
How it feels to
Be me!

Relationships/can’t
Going out in public/won’t
Being surrounded by
new people your
Friend knows/ I don’t think so…

I can socialize
to an extent.
If I say something
Out of order…..
To the huddle…
You may or may
Not hear me
keep apologizing……..

So my isolated
My inner and outer
Being…….

These issues with
in me.

Can only be exposed
If you know me….
Or sometimes not
I just feel…
Real tire…
So good night…

O ya…
I forgot…

Most times group
With a bunch of
Me’s and yous can…
Maybe even a hand
Full can understand me…

Only!

My mind
Is…

Mostly out of
Order………

I never asked for
A pity party ………

Salt and Mud

You left me stranded

So I drowned in
Gun fire, Jack Daniels
And 40oz”s

Drama, flying saucers
Bullets lost in
brick walls

Lodged

In house furniture
Sold out slugs

Copper tops tree top
Pirus

Cookie cutters

My Dimu called
Them bookie
Butters

Like he
Had a speech
Impediment

Thats just Blood
edicate

Raised hell
A bit

To intelligent

In a cell a bit

Letters never
Sent never
Touched

like
They were
Celabate

You
Never sent
A letter back

The child
That was once
Beaten blue

Brused for
For nothing

By you

Clutching a belt
Shaped as a “U”

Ungrateful
And unfaithful like
Samson

So

I stay absent

Like you

Browning Of The Roux

“Browning Of The Roux”

Quit bitching
Folk.

You’d probably
Throw up.

All in your
Mouth till you choke.

Can I get
A witness from.

Those who
Have been.

Subjected
To all types.

Of murder
Entrapments.

Oppression,
War, discrimination,
PTSD.

Hold up
Now!

Real PTSD
From rebel enemies.

Infidels to
See your well being.

Lifeless, loving
Less, teenager’s.

Killers with Chips
in there britches.

Masked up
Then home invaded.

Ransom shit
Stripped till humiliated.

Starving for the,
Lost betters.

From a bitter
No better life.

Always, off,
Scedual…

Fuck Your
Money!!

Though my
Tribe maybe starving…

Staying on
Dope just to gets sleep!

Drinking liquor to
Heal from the beating!!

Cocaine in my
Veins, staying awake!!!

For days!!!!

To dodge all
The heathens!!!!!

And if I bleed
Today!!!!!!

You will surely be
Murdered this evening!!!!!!!

They don’t give
A fuxk what we believe in…

BITCH IM BLAXKK!

BUT TO ALL MY
OPPRESSED ALL!

AROUND THE WORLD!
PLEASE DON’T BE SEATED!

EVEN IF DIFFERENT
CIRCUMSTANCES!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

THOUGH WAR MAYBE
INEVITABLE!

MOST OF THE
WORLD DONT GIVE!

A FUCK ABOUT
USSS!!

OR SHIT ABOUT
WHAT WE GO THROUGH!!

SAYING AND PRAYING
AND POSTING!

IS LIKE A FAD OR
BANDWAGON!

BUT IF YOU AINT
FIGHTING WITH US!

ALONGSIDE IN US!
ANYWAY!!

FUXK YA WORDS,
PROMISES, AID,
PROTEST!

LETS FIGHT
FOR OUR SELVES!

FOR BETTER PROGRESS!

KEEP YA SMILES
AND RACE OR RELIGION!

SPLAININGS!

CALL ME WHAT YOU
WANT!

THATS ALL YOU
GOOD AT IS HATING!!!

“Why We Shoot Back”

Insanity…….

10 yr old grown men….

10yrs later…

10 become ten men…

10 out of 10, only 4 of them left..

10 year to life, some in prison for…

10 years dead or…

10 years in the feds…

4 of those 10 are left…

Those 4 even did time in prison…

For crimes they didn’t even commit…

Set up by police so it’s nothing to
Shoot back at them, before they kill
Us.

Can’t go no where, poverty issues so my family stuck.

Continuing to live life like no human being would ever want….

Never want…

As I yelled out!

“FUCKING KILL ME! I AINT GOT
SHIT TO LOSE!”

Shot down from the head, to the shoes, no one would even give a damn over lives we’d lose.

Only God knows the pain….

Of a short fuse…

As electricity cracks in the rain….

Leaving the brain to forever sink in blues…

Power Washed

Who are you?

When your asleep?

Who do you want to be?

When you’ve awaken?

 

Watching over my…

Paper mache angels…

Till they run..

Soaked by h20…

Falling apart…

 

To my knowledge I…

Want the love…

 

To my heart…

It hurts…

So much…

 

To my eyes…

I’ve seen to much…

 

Ears on alert…

Shouting drunken panasonic…

 

Slight pain like…

A crawfish pinch…

 

Tell me I’m worth…

More than everything…

 

I’ll just doubt it…

Deny it…

Then move on…

 

Song birds sing…

Those same songs…

 

Can’t you see I’m hurting…

Can’t you see I’m hurting…

 

Even my tears have deserted…

Me…

 

I live for peace…

Even when…

There are no pieces…

Even left…

Of me…

 

Touch me…

Your hands will soak in gasoline…

You’ll only ignite it…

Saying you love me…

 

You tell me you love me…

I leave no discription…

You won’t see nothing…

Not me…

 

As sure as you were born…

You’ll never understand my pain…

Knit Pick

Prove to yourself that your worthy of life…

I would but… Ifs to ands…

Subject tormented like pulling the legs off a spider…

Yet I’m a rider…

For all its worth…

No attachments of blood pumping…

Dropping shells out of the revolver…

Right after discharging…

Then discarded out of my inventory…

The millionaires would place there bets on me…

You want to no a secret…

I got lost in its power…

 

2nd verse…

Death notes when lecturing most killers…

I’m the compass on the page of a Atlas…

Why would they follow me like I’m leading sheep…

I’m not a leader…

I may or may not be psychotic…

Snickering at liers lie more…

I just let you dig a deeper hole…

Dive in it and never come back…

Like my dignity…

Nerves so bad…

I got to sleep with a mouth guard on…

 

Only a matter of time before I’m back behind bars…

I still stay on call…

 

So Many Crosses

So much on my mind…

Insomnia words never sleeping…

Leaving a sleep depravted mouth…

Shaking my head…

For all the rong I did…

All the cars I stole…

To drive so far far away…

Till I see snow…

I have no goals…

I just have friend that are cons…

Pros at it…

Revival of my bible…

Blowing dust off the cross…

Please!

I need a prayer!

Mad at the same time…

Sad I had to lay ya.

No baptism after building a bloody dynasty!

Attractive left leg limp of a true child prodigy!

Smarts so quietly!

Amongst the loud back grown of my society!

Black Narnia!

Death targets with a kill me sign on your back…

They passed out counterfeit smiles…

You turned around…

To your smooth feelings.

Like you were a boss…

Oval shaped holiday holes in you…

You didn’t share the cause………..

 

 

 

I Don’t Get It

I just don’t get these times any more. Whatever happened to a mature respectful conversation with a woman that stands in your eyes?

Why so defensive?

All I wanted to do was maybe get to know you. If your not interested…

ok!

That’s cool…

Yet…

You act as If i came at you rude. You turn your face up like a old pair of shoes…

Damn!

All I said was…

“hi…”

“how are you…?”

I’m not sexest or a pig. Im not staring at your breasts. A creep with obnoxious gestures. I am a man with principles! I am a man with respect! I no confidence I lack! Yet strong morals stay attached.

The best!

You look at me like I’m a threat! Like I asked you for sex. What makes me rude? Just because I wanted to talk to you!

Ladies…

Seriously…

Can you please help me here!

I just don’t understand?

What I’m doing wrong my dear! You just look at me like bird shit on your car windshield!

Why?

I just asked you for a minute of your time? I said how are you… Or got damn you look fine?

You do…

It’s just a compliment…

I didn’t curse at you…

How do good relationships get started? If you don’t want to be bothered…

Listen….

Don’t get me wrong!

If you don’t want to talk to me… Just please be respectful. Let me no and I’ll walk away graceful.

I can understand if your having a bad day.  Or your going through problems with your last mate… All im saying is…

I really Can’t understand your ways…

Trust me!

Sometimes I feel the same….

Way…

For the record!

I just wanted to say this…

Im not perverted or sexest… Nore am I a pig… Im not just trying to talk to you so I can hit it an quit….

You dig!

I’m not a male shobernist…                        No known records of abusiveness… A low tolerace for inmature foolishness…

I’m just a man that just wanted to see if we could start something new with this.

You don’t haft to worry though. I’ll never ask a women again. Can I get to no them.

Eny…

more…

I’m not a sexest!

I just wanted to get to know someone precious…..

 

 

 

“A yo!” “Wusup hommie”! “How you livin”?

My brain dome casted a spell on me like a mage. No pizza toppings were on it realizing that I’m just a pawn. “Happy Day Oh Happy Day!”

I made a nice amount of money today! No one to share it with! I bought a suicide note, a gollon of whiskey and a loaded 38. Special revolver.

I got so damn drunk and cried so much! I forgot to off myself… Every time I turn on the TV. I see people smiling… Everytime I go outside… I see people dieing… I wanna smile to!

If I smile… People will think I’m out to kill or rob them! How the fuck can I kill you if I’m already dead… I’ll just barricade myself in my room instead…

Throw everything I have out the window! I mean nothing to anyone… So my stuff means nothing to me! Some say it’s a privilege to still breath… Maybe there right… Being accused of a disaster… I didnt come home for 18 months…

I spent holidays fighting! Getting high and eating cup of noodles in my bunk! Fuck you mean! Happy to breath! I inhale pollution to seeing my generation become extinct!

I’m not saying that I’m not blessed. Every day I’m learning the life of pain. Life’s insaine… Life in prison dreams envisioned. Waking up to being a prisoner in my own community…

The sad part is.. This shit ain’t even new to me! So I stay and deal with days of picking up shell casings. Some with peoples names on them.

“Chris… Why don’t you move”!?

To make that much money I’ll have to live till my 80s saving up. Why don’t you fucking help me instead of asking why I’m still fucked up….

Feed up! It’s hard for me to eat! I’ve died 15 years ago… Do you think anyone came to view me… Nope! I’ll just wipe off my bloody hand on my white T shirt and throw it away!

That’s a little of how I’m living…

I don’t think I ever lived at all…