Salt and Mud

You left me stranded

So I drowned in
Gun fire, Jack Daniels
And 40oz”s

Drama, flying saucers
Bullets lost in
brick walls

Lodged

In house furniture
Sold out slugs

Copper tops tree top
Pirus

Cookie cutters

My Dimu called
Them bookie
Butters

Like he
Had a speech
Impediment

Thats just Blood
edicate

Raised hell
A bit

To intelligent

In a cell a bit

Letters never
Sent never
Touched

like
They were
Celabate

You
Never sent
A letter back

The child
That was once
Beaten blue

Brused for
For nothing

By you

Clutching a belt
Shaped as a “U”

Ungrateful
And unfaithful like
Samson

So

I stay absent

Like you

Black Merc 0202-0-16

Lately I’ve been

drifting.

My old structure

of strict militant ways.

Don’t know how

long before.

I’ll be consumed

by the flames.

The past be the

past.

Glued stuck to my frustrated

psyche.

Being bound to

something worst.

Confused that sometimes

the worst deeds can set you

Free.

Mind filthy, rotting away off

The bones of my

decaying last good memories.

Life’s snap shots of

seconds of smiles and laughter.

Then Jokes become

sloppy.

The laughter becomes

annoying.

Reality kicks into

Dissipated smiles.

The heart is distantly

colder like a halleys Comet.

As I rapidly forget short

Small numbers and sentences.

I won’t die…

I’m dieing slowly along

the way.

Experiencing that first hand

failure to control crashing

Into ashes.

Warped feelings overdosed, lusting

for violence and gun powdery

children’s cereal.

Maybe inching instantly

towards a whole

solid insanity plea.

Watching humans devour there

nurturers and there nurtured.

A thick book deal guide through

corruption, scams,

set ups and confusion.

More and more I

Aggressively drift back

into that.

Predictably same facial

expression that never changes.

No matter the emotion, excitement

Happyness of whatever

Joy is.

My face will always look

The exact same.

My face stays stuck trying

to comprehend.

Why everyone looks

at me like I’m a stone.

Maybe I am one to

Think of.

I fail the try outs…

Then become more

upset that I pathetically try to hard.

Or is just never close

To enough.

All humans are born with

A heart’s worth of emotions.

Yes that is fact…

What do you call a human

That has to program there self to?

Feel it….

Or know when to receive it…

Reciprocate it in a way to

Trust the other.

Note that it’s not always

Out to break you or kill you.

From the inside out…

I feel less and less emotions

like when I was younger.

My emotions are plumiting

Stocks all over again.

A very bad investment…

Back to who I was not

supposed to been.

The rebirth of chaos is

about to began.

I can feel it..

It’s me…

I am chaos…

The second coming…

Is on the way…

Free Us…

So we will be one with our former self…

The form of a poker face…

Dead from With in…

The Black Mercury……..

Oh No’s

I can honestly say that.
I’m seriously indecisive.

Yet,
when I fully commit to
something or someone.
it can become a crisis.
The hardest critic is myself.
Yes it’s true.

Various mental issues
that plague my view.
Getting Tangled in past unpaid
Dues.

I’m realising that the same
People who try instilling positivity.
Are Condoning these new ways.
To be offended By people. Who don’t understand there offending you.

Fuck! I’m tired!
Fuck you and ya mama!
I can’t stand humans and there
phony mottos to live by but won’t
Die by what there trying to
Live for.

Falsified explanations.. excuses why not to do this Or say that.
Why not to believe in this or that.
The blind lead the blind mah’ fucka!
Don’t you believe in that.

Just because it sounds like it’s true don’t mean that it’s right.
Like being in a relationship and your partner believes. Every
Thing they single friend says is right.

Right?!
Bitch Wrong!
I’m so far beyond your
comprehension that.
I already know the shit y’all be on.
Next time I take advice. It will be
from the earth, not a pilgrim.

What lives matter?
Shut the fuck up!
Those white folk had
Me facing 40yrs plus! for defending
Myself!

Shut up!
Let me finish!
I say this right here!
I “Mr Thomas” solidly, solemnly swear I will never write about
Love and old love affairs.
Till the earth burns on its axis and explodes. from
Global warming ignored.

Atlest I know I wont be the only
Person to burn in a hell. Ain’t no
Self-defense laws for negros.
For the record………
Fuck you all I’m already dead!
Lol!
Fuck the love you know
If it’s true love you never had.

Life….. Or…… Death…..

True To This S××T

My celibate decisions are concrete…

I apprehended something worth living…

Watches that shot tower around me…

That’s my hearts defense no fly zone here…

Shot down your intent…

I can’t get and erection from lust…

I live for the day I can trust…

Till pigs can fly…

I’ll just take the bus…

I was better off over the joint with killers…

This s××t out here…

Is finished…

Killing my thoughts of…

The single word entamacy…

Be that is my entire enemy…

So I’ll deal with this like I did with them…

They will never see you again…

Facts over everything!

Tina Marie

“Tina Marie is one of my favorite singer and song wrighters ever!”

“One love to you miss”

 

 

 

I saw her…

The last time said her name…

In my dreams…

I herd that…

Your ex is a ex lover…

For a reason…

Where would I be if…

I never learned what deceived…

me…

 

” I can’t give in!”

“To you!”

“Agaiiinnnn!”

by…

“Tina marie…”

If you could see…

The things you’ve done…

Done to me…

I won’t lie…

You had me so inlove…

With dieing inside of me…

I…

Died…

In…

Side…

Of…

Me…

 

Without conflict… Skipped down the yellow brick road. Denver Colorado my soul. From 5 star dinning to bag lunchables.

Attitude… You’ve gave my character a bad yelp review. I knew the only way out was to say no… I’m out! Same songs! A down mans alcohol… Abuse on the abuse I’ve suffered…

O ya! Men go through it to… I never realized what I was truly going through. Till I looked at my figure and stabs wounded… You wounded what was already….

You know what…

Fuck it…

“Tina Marie ya…”