Salt and Mud

You left me stranded

So I drowned in
Gun fire, Jack Daniels
And 40oz”s

Drama, flying saucers
Bullets lost in
brick walls

Lodged

In house furniture
Sold out slugs

Copper tops tree top
Pirus

Cookie cutters

My Dimu called
Them bookie
Butters

Like he
Had a speech
Impediment

Thats just Blood
edicate

Raised hell
A bit

To intelligent

In a cell a bit

Letters never
Sent never
Touched

like
They were
Celabate

You
Never sent
A letter back

The child
That was once
Beaten blue

Brused for
For nothing

By you

Clutching a belt
Shaped as a “U”

Ungrateful
And unfaithful like
Samson

So

I stay absent

Like you

Big Facts 400

Indictments! now the truth
Comes out.

My name is my
Name.

Yet I hid
From my own
Doubt.

Federal

No no no!

Investigations are gone!
                        So so long!

Now I can give

Asia pronounced!
“I ja”

Yes, I hate my Name but, what true is real

Can’t be excused.

Nore do I have to
Explain my Damn
Views.

It feels good to
Be back
Here!

Now let me
Lay back. Take off my
Shoes off.

I apologize
For not being
Honest.

For a reason!

Deeper….

Little explanations!

Understood only by those
That understand.

To keep my
Ass
Out of that iron
Vacation.

No sliding doors
For me. No Damn bars to hold me…

I hope you agree.

If not…..

Go back to the beginning
of me and re-read…

Now I will pay my respects to
Those who ain’t make it to 2021…

R.I.P

L. Turtle

C. James

Patricia b.

Kenny

Yawl

Cali

Avon

H. Rodney

Makk

M. Wilson

If I forgot some.
I’m sorry.

Justice will be
Survered
For y’alls
Murders

Happy “you” years to all!

Oh No’s

I can honestly say that.
I’m seriously indecisive.

Yet,
when I fully commit to
something or someone.
it can become a crisis.
The hardest critic is myself.
Yes it’s true.

Various mental issues
that plague my view.
Getting Tangled in past unpaid
Dues.

I’m realising that the same
People who try instilling positivity.
Are Condoning these new ways.
To be offended By people. Who don’t understand there offending you.

Fuck! I’m tired!
Fuck you and ya mama!
I can’t stand humans and there
phony mottos to live by but won’t
Die by what there trying to
Live for.

Falsified explanations.. excuses why not to do this Or say that.
Why not to believe in this or that.
The blind lead the blind mah’ fucka!
Don’t you believe in that.

Just because it sounds like it’s true don’t mean that it’s right.
Like being in a relationship and your partner believes. Every
Thing they single friend says is right.

Right?!
Bitch Wrong!
I’m so far beyond your
comprehension that.
I already know the shit y’all be on.
Next time I take advice. It will be
from the earth, not a pilgrim.

What lives matter?
Shut the fuck up!
Those white folk had
Me facing 40yrs plus! for defending
Myself!

Shut up!
Let me finish!
I say this right here!
I “Mr Thomas” solidly, solemnly swear I will never write about
Love and old love affairs.
Till the earth burns on its axis and explodes. from
Global warming ignored.

Atlest I know I wont be the only
Person to burn in a hell. Ain’t no
Self-defense laws for negros.
For the record………
Fuck you all I’m already dead!
Lol!
Fuck the love you know
If it’s true love you never had.

Life….. Or…… Death…..

I Killed Myself

Game officially over…

I’d rather stand in front of a firing squad…

Then to be your mental bitch…

It must be my medication that has me so sensitive…

Im about to bring the old me back…

So no one will ever expose my weaknesses…

 

 

 

“I lost”

“I lost my”

“I lost my gravity”

 

(No Puncuation Needed and all run off sentence so sue me word police)😤👎

 

 

 

I believe if…

You tell someone something…

They should listen…

 

 

I believe if…

You say you love someone…

There should be no excuses…

 

 

I believe that…

I put myself…

Through my own…

Torture…………….

 

 

I believe…

That………..

Is the end of my nice guy bullshit kamikaze jumping off the cliff repeatedly repeating it fealing the same excruciating pain the heart will no longer exist to me or to enyone else as of this day fuck the world and every creature and species of fake traits reviled as I try to hold on to them and in thee end I’m always left the same way times ten put my own gun in my mouth to fake my death and shoot you in your face with it I won’t and will never be one of enyones murder case….

Of love…

 

 

 

I lost…

I lost my…

I lost my gravity…

 

 

Pain Killers

I died today…
Rest in peace…
So sad my life
ended like it started.
Addiction…
I couldn’t shake
it so I dissolved
in my own bag
of brown sugar.
The pain it wouldn’t
stop, the flames
were very hot and
I’ve stained the
minds of lots,
but only after death.
No pot to piss
in so I stole yours.
Bewildered…
Kicking in door
after door only
to find more
problems on
the other side.
Your irresponsible
lectures turned me
out. Making me
heartless.
This is evidence
that supports
and confirms
my statements.
I laid on her
stomach at
night rubbing
my fingers on
her cesarean
scars and she
took her
pocket knife
that was already
stained with
her past lovers
blood and
stabbed me
in the back
and twisted
the blade
until it broken
in my flesh
to create
more pain.
I didn’t die
from that.
I died because
I loved for
one second to
many and
turned my back.
That was
the first time
my tears created
acid that
dropped in my
hands and burned
away the calluses.
I am so glad to
be dead.