Oh No’s

I can honestly say that.
I’m seriously indecisive.

Yet,
when I fully commit to
something or someone.
it can become a crisis.
The hardest critic is myself.
Yes it’s true.

Various mental issues
that plague my view.
Getting Tangled in past unpaid
Dues.

I’m realising that the same
People who try instilling positivity.
Are Condoning these new ways.
To be offended By people. Who don’t understand there offending you.

Fuck! I’m tired!
Fuck you and ya mama!
I can’t stand humans and there
phony mottos to live by but won’t
Die by what there trying to
Live for.

Falsified explanations.. excuses why not to do this Or say that.
Why not to believe in this or that.
The blind lead the blind mah’ fucka!
Don’t you believe in that.

Just because it sounds like it’s true don’t mean that it’s right.
Like being in a relationship and your partner believes. Every
Thing they single friend says is right.

Right?!
Bitch Wrong!
I’m so far beyond your
comprehension that.
I already know the shit y’all be on.
Next time I take advice. It will be
from the earth, not a pilgrim.

What lives matter?
Shut the fuck up!
Those white folk had
Me facing 40yrs plus! for defending
Myself!

Shut up!
Let me finish!
I say this right here!
I “Mr Thomas” solidly, solemnly swear I will never write about
Love and old love affairs.
Till the earth burns on its axis and explodes. from
Global warming ignored.

Atlest I know I wont be the only
Person to burn in a hell. Ain’t no
Self-defense laws for negros.
For the record………
Fuck you all I’m already dead!
Lol!
Fuck the love you know
If it’s true love you never had.

Life….. Or…… Death…..

Tying your last tie

“I just can’t stop”

“So many tears”

“I literally haven’t cryed this much in years”

“Tears so thick”

“Tears so fucking thick”

“Pardon my language”

“My eyes welled over into trees”

You’ll never no how much you ment to me…

Your father is…

My brother….

Fuck…

Pardon my language….

I’d die 1,000,000,000 ties….

For you to take my place…

I don’t know…

All I can remember right now is…

When you were born…

I haven’t cried so hard in years…

I feel like mother earth…

I feel like “Emit Till…

I feel like “Malcolm X”

I feel like…

Fighting for all that is left….

Negro wake up…

But I know I am…

All that matters…

To me brother…

Is us…

My family…

My lasts…

My firsts…

Your child has past…

He won’t come back…

I don’t know how to feel…

So I’ll just let my tears…

Roll back in my head…

He’s on level…

Place up now…

My neff…

Stronger then I ever was….

Your birthday is two weeks from now….

My smile has burned its self down…

I’m hurting…

So bad…

If my tears could talk…

Fuck it…

They Would be bleeding instead…

It’s all in my fucking head…

Pardon my language…

Pardon…

My grammer….

Pardon the things I can’t and won’t fix…

Literally….

My ashy hands are two damaged….

This one is real personal…

Yet, I have to share it….

Get it off myself…

Crashing trying to take off my seat belt…

If I didn’t…

Post…

Anything…

Fuck it…

Pardon my language…

“To my god son Carlos jr, aka Jr”

“I will forever miss you shorrty”

“I’ll miss you”

“I love you boy”

“I’ll see you when I get there”

“I may die in battle but I will never lose the fight!”

“Gun jammed

He lost his life

In hot sands……”

 

 

 

 

Still I wanted to be a paragraph…

 

Sitting on the soft side of my eulogy

Preparing no pictures for the inside….

 

 

No good times!

 

 

Mind was permanently layed off!

 

My casket will be a tin can

With a nickel and a penny in it!

 

 

Can’t even play a fucking Jukebox!

 

 

“Shirt worth a damn juice box!”

“Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These!”

“Who the hell am I to disagree!”

“Lol I love that song!”

 

 

I’m the land mine out of my damn mind…

 

 

When I finnaly die in battle

It will be from eternal life…

 

 

Since I fell from God’s kingdom wings Smokey black on both sides…

 

 

I’m trying to keep that side A

From side b turning my cassette tape

Into one million degrees!

 

 

 

This beautiful pain

Will be my victory…

 

 

I don’t need nothing!

 

 

Or a unknown known sprocket to do shit for me!!!

 

 

If you want to pitty me!!!

 

Do it by dieing for admitting our cause to live means you never gave a fuck about me!!!

 

 

Our corpses will kiss for a ment to be moment……..

 

“To

Be……”

 

“This will be close to a victory……..”

 

I trust know one or nothing trying to get close enough to me!!!!!

 

I’m just dry rotten dabree………….

 

Putter There

Does Life keep you down? Don’t worry! Just put on your best happy!

Face….

 

Can’t get a decent job! From past court cases!

Hey!

Just put on a happy!

Face….

 

 

 

You need to be loved! You want a companion! You can’t even stand!

Your…

Self…

Put on a happy!

face…..

 

 

Christmas is coming! Thanksgiving to! Not one thanks from those! Unappreciative souls!

You

Need

To

Just

Put

on

that

happy

face……….

 

 

 

Praying for help! Only to be left by yourself! No hands make contact alone in this world…

Broke the home with in self! I still have flash backs no relief from disasters! I still catch nightmares! Like fire flys finally reaching happiness!

Rising up off the couch sweating!

Yelling!

 

 

Surrounded by demons of these imaginary friends…

Since!

kin

Der

Garden……

 

 

 

Shootings at high capacity, atrocious to civilians… Meteor showers that lasted for hours top mileage!

 

The mayor declared a cease fire! That just ment a break! For actions to subside. For a week or less. I was the opposite of……. Not a maniac? A disciple of seeing my enemys! Bleed to death at there last supper! Now surrounded by a new breed of cowards!

With no respect for perfect aim………

 

 

It’s indisputable that I am a King!

I know I know…

I am one of the worst fuck ups…

A fuck up…

Sleeping in hellish-ly peace……………

Fools For Gold

Bentley tastes with

cocain money

A dummy

for minister’s to

grab, control and

touch all over

Lusting

Giving olderme

the

Satisfaction of

Spending all there money

In return

She had to do things

In his bed

what do you want

Lust in your eyes

he sees your

inner thighs

she sees your

Inner wolet

popping wheelies

all over

corruption

Left

Track marks on

a young hustler

food for thought

she didn’t eat

she slept for months

Untill she was found

decomposed

Her dreams unfolding

unravelling her bruised

mangled entangled

dress

to think

she was fast

Yet

She didn’t

deserve that

yet

she didn’t have to

go out like that

Yet

she deminished

before she ever

got the chance

to truly understand

what true love was

No No

D.D.

Unhealthy Minerals

Zoo season cutthroat Inhaled smoke No inhalers… Hailstorms of stampeding Crack capsules Snap backs Cocking back… Boom!!! Listens to squad cars Zoom… Paramedics Late as usual…

Fi! Fi! Fi! More shots as usual… Spin the conner Bending Again silencing witnesses… Apprentices of death Metro token Holes in the side’s Of cars doors… Don’t panic!

The plannings Of unparenting Plan’s to have No childhoods… Wild hood’s! “Billy the Kid” Would be scared! Just don’t fear If fear smells They can tell… Even police Will rob you!

Beat you up! Take you to Jail Frail If you live to Tell! There’s no telling To enyone that will Hear tears of hustler… Turn killer… Contracts signed Since we came off Slave ship’s… Beloved Devine Divided My ancestors spirits!

Nothing’s changed But the solstices… Dirty underwear to small to change… Your… Mind… That was never there Scared of starving till the… Devil’s chair… Sat down on Saturn’s… To us it’s harmless… The calm mist harnessed a Electric disaster…

God bless the safest automatic firearms…

I’m From L. N. G.

“BOULEVARD GO HARD!!”

 

 

Riding pass…

Yelling out of there cars…

 

 

This will be…

Thee last time I’m…

Doing this role call…

 

 

Edgewood!

Midway!

Springdale!

Norfolk!

 

 

They all know who I is…

They all no…

The bizz…

Noooo jokes…

 

 

West forest park!

Fairview!

Grantly!

Garrison!

 

 

Back then…

I was terrible…

 

I was known to…

I played pool…

Alot…

Hit me up on my cellular…

For eight balls…

In the corner of your pockets…

For those corners…

 

 

I was the best…

Every sales fell in line..

For there orders…

 So embarrassing…

 

 

Liberty heights!

Chattam and Carsdale!

Denison!

North Hilton!

 

 

Scrambled boy…

In double O’s…

Ready rock city…

Where fiends…

Panhandled…

Up at the gas stations…

 

 

Callaway!

Arydale!

Wood Haven!

Bonner Road!

 

Night walkers scheme…

Strong arm robbery…

Breaking…

Entering…

 

 

Children…

With automatics…

No safty…

 

 

“Go mode!”

Carlisle Avenue!

Bateman Avenue!

Alton Road!

Piedmont Ave!

Damn brats…

Lord knows…

I love them all…

Girls and boys…

Don’t play with toys……

At the age of 14…

They are into the streets beefs…

Older men…

If you young men…

can live past there 20’s… 

You’ll be on that…

Original gangsta…

Raffled…

 

Gwynn Falls!

Ellamont Street!

Clifton Avenue!

Wallbrook!

 

 

You can get murdered…

For a small fee…

For selling somewhere…

You should not be…

A skimpy bag of grocerys…

 

 

O…

Possibly…

Get your your pockets… emptied…

You’ve been taken…

 

Powhatan!

Hanlon Park!

Allendale!

Chelse Terrace!

 

 

Looking at somebody…

For more then…

The 5 second rule…

Bullets will certainly…

Fly in your direction…

The furnace…

 

 

Fairfax!

Oakfield!

Kathland!

Granada Ave!

 

 

Rest in peace…

To all of my soldiers…

Who won’t be…

Comming back…

 

 

 

Main Ave!

Berwyn ave!

Egerton Rd!

Dorchester!

 

 

Mega hard white…

Brown sugar or that tan…

Broken down…

Into the corners…

Alleyways…

Testers given…

The early morning applause…

 

 

Berrington Rd!

Sequoia Ave!

Belle ave!

Borman!

 

 

Kidnapped…

Tormented…

Tortured…

Ransomed off…

Over white squares of…

Numbing soft…

 

Where…

Those young bucks…

Steal bikes…

Throwing rocks…

At mormons…

 

Off porches…

 

 

West Cold Spring!

Oakford Ave!

Ridgewood!

Fern hills!

 

 

Shoot outs…

Bad deals…

Bad pills…

High heels…

That wave hello…

 

 

Broad day…

Police…

The Dt’s…

Shaking up pepper spray…

 

 

Ex pills…

Percocet prescriptions…

Xanax bars…

Unpaid bills…

 

Penhurst Ave!

Eldorado Ave!

Belvieu!

West belvedere!

 

Don’t trust no one here…

Most girls around…

Are everybody’s girlfriend…

 

 

Bad…

Hearts…

Vicious Fights…

Plegue break…

Out…

Between boys…

Men…

When they find out…

Who she’s been sleeping…

With…

 

 

Intercourse…

With both…

No remorse…

She just smurks…

 

Face..

To whoever lost that fight…

He’s comming right back…

 

Wild wild west shit…

 

Rite back there…

 

 

Groveland!

Dolefield!

Elderon!

Wabash!

White oak!

Crestfield!

Yosemite!

Copley Rd!

 

Love does not exist…

At all…

 

Traffic stops unlawful…

Hand cuffs to tight…

Wrist bleeding…

Leaving permanent scars…

 

Rats can’t come back…

Thee..

Tattle tails get brutalized…

 

Wolcott Ave!

Westchester!

Miami Place!

Fordney Lane!

 

 

Hot…

 

 

Abusive relationships…

Left both…

Men..

Women..

Dead…

 

 

Long ride downtown…

Homicide building…

You better run…

Board a plane…

Something…

 

 

Grown men…

 

Well..

We had more heart then them…

As children…

 

 

Bullets flying like…

“Jiu jitsu” kicks…

 

 

Little girls..

So sassy…

With there little hands…

On there hips…

 

 

Young boys…

8 years old…

Carrying condoms…

 

 

On the corners…

Loose cigarettes…

Marijuana out on the strip…

 

“A yo”

“Holla at shorrty!”

“He got that diesel out yalll!”

 

“Big dimes!”

“Big dimes!”

 

Ain’t no picnicking…

Ain’t no romancing…

No slow dancing…

 

 

First dates mean…

Motel recipt…

Credit or cash…

 

Bring your home girl to….

 

 

 

Library’s…

No books read…

The kids take advantage…

Are only there…

Of the free WiFi …

 

 

Facebook-en-off…

Perverted…

Instagram picks…

Ass…

Tits…

 

Narcotics detectives can…

Hit the block so quick…

You’d have to…

 

“Holllldddd What you got!”

Or swollow those those things…

If they catch you…

They’ll beat you bloody…

Yelling out…

Saying things like….

 

“Open your fucking mouth!”

“Raise up your fucking tungue!”

“You little bitch!”

 

 

About…

Let’s see…

50 Dirt bikes flying through the streets…

 

 

Tinted windows…

On vehicles…

Car…

Caravans…

 

Creeping slowly down the one way street…

 

 

Deviously…

 

 

Go Grab your heat…

Out of the stash…

Or lay…

On your ass…

 

 

Pistols…

Russian assult rifles…

Pokers out…

Swung from tall grass…

Vaccent houses…

 

 

223’s…

Hollow points…

Teflon chest protecting…

Now Its war…

 

 

Midnight Half gallons…

“Jack Daniels…”

Warm whiskey…

On cold mysteries…

You feel pissy…

 

 

All night party…

On the block…

Clocked in…

trap hours…

 

 “What hood you from!?”

“Throw your sets up higher!”

No shook replies……..

 

“I’M FROM L.N.G!”

 

 

 

Get Ya Isha

My issues are not an excuse

To all who think so

Fuck you

Sorry that

I can’t think like you

Mind blown by

Seeing blow by blow

Horror shows

Never a dare to see

This isn’t an equation

You can just solve

Me

This is pure glass

Spit

Slipped

Shattering before I talk

If you think I’m there

I’m else where

Mentally

In another dimension

Trying to find my way out

Of my breakfast

At dinner

When you talk

When they talk

When yall talk

It’s not my fault

I might not have been

Paying attention

Mouths and eyes

They will never understand us

The U.S. Zoo

“Artwork done by me.”

 

 

 

Mistreated!

How can you!

Even call yourself!

A God fearing!

Dropping kids!

In!

Private prisons!

 

Killing fields!

 Domestic terrorism!

The people in power!

Ignore symptoms!

Throwing focus off!

Those beautiful!

 Hard working!

Human beings!

 

Crossing over!

The border!

 

They have no say so

Over there

Own kids crying!

 

Dieing!!

DIEING!!!!!!!!

DIEING!!!!!!!!

 

Having!

No say so!

From hundreds!

Of miles!

Away from!

 

 

I want to cry!

Sometimes!

If it were all the time!

 

 

I want to!

Seriously!

Adopt!

Every last child!

Torn apart!

From there families!

Bring those families!

Up higher!

Reunite them one by one!

With!

There!

Mom’s and dads!

If I could rob!

The government!

For a billion dollars!

They would  all!

Have free housing!

Health care!

From the harsh!

Brutality!

Violence!

Turn my self in!

To authorities!

Just to give them all!

A better running starting!

For the chance to smile!

 

 

No more badges!

Or round ups!

Like wild animals!

Torn apart from!

labeling!

Crying for freedom!

Seeking asylum!

For every childs!

Grand future!

 

 

 

Envisioning!

Violence!

When they dream!

Problems!!

They see!

 

 

These are not!

Sick dogs!

Or!

“Look at the flowers!”

Till blood falls! 

 

 

They will never be!

 

Treated!

 Unfairly! 

Inhuman element!

By sick disturbing!

Badges!

Handed over from!

Racist!

Politicians!

 

“Let those kids speak!”

Stop covering!

There mouths!

If you notice!

There Families never!

Get the chance!

To be heard!

By a reporter!

Riddle me that!

God!

I hate being a American!

 

POVERTY!

WAR!

THE STRUGGLING!

THEY ONLY SHOW!

THE ATTRACTION FOR TORRISTS!

FUCK FACTS!

FUCK STATISTICS!

YOU WELL NEVER FEEL OUR STRUGGLES!

TILL YOU COME HOME WITH US!

VISIT……….

💯💯💯💯✊✊✊✊

 

 

Rocka-bye bye-baby

I make words like…

Go get whoever…

Click together…

 

I’m passionate about my…

Name…

 

It can’t be broken…

As I made my way…

Down grey boulevards…

Bullets slim mankind fast…

Into bulimia…

 

Studios set for death…

Giving a reference to…

Embalming fluid…

 

You can do it…

We shall overcome stupidity…

Murder by pain addiction…

 

Picture this…

You cant…

 

Before Im killed…

I’ll  already be dead…

Gone…

 

Calcium will feed the ground…

Politically wrong…

Pestilence in a smile…

Petroleum heats the sounds…

Of more broken home…

 

Broken in homes…

Give me food or die…

 

Crunch time died…

Drugs dried…

Held hostage by…

Border patrol…

Ports of entry…

Let my people go…

 

A new hustle is born…

Majority of our…

Only ways…

Of meeting ends to ends….

 

Court rooms backed up…

Public housing courts…

Backed up…

Officers saying…

 

“We need back up!”

 

I chuckle up a knee slapper…

Fuck em…

 

Prisons…

Cells…

Sell…

3 men per cell…

How come…

Set sail…

All abort…

No more reproducing…

Sold off…

Sold out…

Hearts apart…

Splitting up…

Our families…

 

“The declaration of independents…”