“They think they know”

They dooo…
They think
they doooo…

You don’t listen
You compare.
You brush me off
Like you don’t care.
Clarify this shit…
As My diagnosis
rolls up off anothers
Tongues…

like
Water off a leaf
That’s weak…

Let me make it
Clear to those
Who won’t and
Don’t understand
That the issue
Can’t be compared
To you self
Diagnosis of me
Or yourself.

Boxed in a
A box in corner…
Small walls
I can’t peak over
Them.
With out…
I dare you to
speak… Making
Me more lonely…

“OH just do some breathing techniques and exercise. “

Ok that’s fine!
but It only
Last for a little
while!
You wonder why!
I Don’t smile!
I just
Need a stronger
Dose im on
Enough meds
To take a bull
Down!

Make me bitter
At all repetitive
remarks!

You!
Don’t!
Know!
Me!

Let me tell you
How it feels to
Be me!

Relationships/can’t
Going out in public/won’t
Being surrounded by
new people your
Friend knows/ I don’t think so…

I can socialize
to an extent.
If I say something
Out of order…..
To the huddle…
You may or may
Not hear me
keep apologizing……..

So my isolated
My inner and outer
Being…….

These issues with
in me.

Can only be exposed
If you know me….
Or sometimes not
I just feel…
Real tire…
So good night…

O ya…
I forgot…

Most times group
With a bunch of
Me’s and yous can…
Maybe even a hand
Full can understand me…

Only!

My mind
Is…

Mostly out of
Order………

I never asked for
A pity party ………

They Gone Go

You can
have the
best dick
in the universe!
You can
have the
greatest
pussy of
all times!

You can
be honest,
loyal!
You can
give all
your love,
give the
Perfect
Balance
Of affection!
You can
be rich,
wealthy,
all of thee
Above!

Helll! You
can be a
Fuxking
famous
star!

You could
have done
whatever
they wanted
Gave whatever
They desired
Or thought
They deserved!

If they
gone
cheat on
you!
They Gone
cheat on
you!
It’s nothing
you can do………….
Don’t try
to fix it
coz it wasn’t
you!

Fuxk the
excuses,
Those
narcissistic
Point of
Views………….

The blaming,
Finger wagging,
The misery
They put you
Through…

There
misbehaving!
All The
moral
indecency
Projected
On to you!

Cheating on
someone….
is…..
A selfish
thing that
causes a
Traumatic
Feeling,
trust issues,
it’s mentality
abusive…
It can get
Physical….
If they
can cheat
on you once
Then they
will damn
sure
cheat on
you again………….

“NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS!
ITS NOT YOUR FAULT AT ALL
WHY THEY DID IT!!!”

Male/female.. Whatever the fuxk you young mah fuxkaz identify as or go by.

Oh Catastrophic

“Oh Catastrophic”

“Like us !”

Don’t dress how we use to.
Don’t keep our self up like we use to.
Don’t do things like we use to.

This is beyond depression…
Inside spirit a hollow oak tree…
Bound to a ships…
Anchor…

War inside…
No choice but to survive…
They all suggested instead…
That I…
Instead of just listing to I…
“Everybody feels like this sometimes…”
Is what’s been said

Like yoga and breathing technology will be the end all…
Please shut the fuck up!
This can’t be helped…
Sedate me…
With A mega dose…

I’m far beyond your reality…
Irritated response comes off as hatred…
Naw…
I just hate being me…
My mind comes off as vacancy…
It’s just a rundown trap house…

It’s just so full…
Of many things like raging pain in tall viles suffering, sins, stress and struggling…

To comprehend this life…
This fowl bitch ain’t for us…
It’s only designed for them…

You don’t think like me…
Move like me…
Get tired of trying to prove like me…

Stuck in quick sands open belly…
Up to the neck barely breathing…
Stop!
Don’t make a camp fire out of my…
Forest fire….

You ain’t me…

I’m not you…

My face looks like it’s stuck on violent… When it’s stuck on problems…
Ones that can’t be solved in…
A hard back dictionary…
Clinging to nonfictinary…

Why must I fight myself to end…
As a quotation after the exlimation…

Mark…

I struggle like no other…
Like a failed mission or a unfinished… Kitchen…
Black droors without utensils…
I’m tense all over…
In every sense…
Back tured counter clockwise from happiness…

Fuck it…

Exhaustion…

Stop breathing…

A nobody…

Will only be my legacy…

No one notices as human…
Us!

So they can’t miss who or what they never perceive…

Incurable…

“Like us !”

Don’t dress how we use to.
Don’t keep our self up like we use to.
Don’t do things like we use to.

This is beyond depression…
Inside spirit a hollow oak tree…
Bound to a ships…
Anchor…

War inside…
No choice but to survive…
They all suggested instead…
That I…
Instead of just listing to I…
“Everybody feels like this sometimes…”
Is what’s been said

Like yoga and breathing technology will be the end all…
Please shut the fuck up!
This can’t be helped…
Sedate me…
With A mega dose…

To Audition For Solar Energy

Potential
Increased
Slight
showers
Down
On this
QUEEN..
Down to Her
sunshine..
I..
Am..
Forced
To yield..
From
the brightest..
Gleam..
And
Into the flames..
Of lightning..
My eyes from
Behind my
Eyes lids..
Snatched
Them quickly
Blinded..
I’m not afraid..
To touch
The polit
Light..
The
enticing
sun’s
beauty…
The rays have
Grazed my
endorphins..
Till I’m
Fully
engulfed in
Her smile..
Nope..
No choices..
A wild
fires a
forming..
A triangular
earth…
My heart
pounding
From the
Hips rotation..
Three
hundred
sixty degree..
Triathlon..
In her eyes
My Words are
trapped..
Not..
Gone..
On contact..
No preservatives..
Fresh..
Organic..
Resurrection..
Savory..
Insightful..
Stifles..
My..
Perceptions..
her minds..
Unsaid Times..
I’m upset
Dying to..
See one last
Smile..
past in
My dirrection..

Locomotive Locksmith

Through my teeth.
I exhaled my strong self-esteem…

Warm air On the back of
Your neck…

No resistance…

I’m what you were
Missing…

My experience…

Hard Like wood cabinets…

Maybe like brass knuckles…

Let your Lips glistening
Like some lacker… Spreading…

Acrylic strong, vibes,
Good vibrations on
Time…

I Rubbed my stomach…

Entertainment in
for the mouth… More
Play… List…

This ain’t for play…
Rained all day
Down drapes…

A reservoir…
Shows its showers
Before the forecast…

The flowers stimuli… Dipping
Into the vase…

Model Venus…
Breaking the modem…

I couldn’t control my router…

Your soft aggression…

Undeniably…

Spitting like a cobra.
Till… The throat is filled like…

A glass of water

Protein…

Outbursts like Tourette’s…
Syndrome… Fell over

The spot like a… Comb
Over…

Flipping dirty buns in boyshorts
By hand… Spreading….
Like butter…

I can’t believe it’s not…

New angles given…
Your feet a occupational
Position…

My human instincts became…

Well…

Questionable…

Letting the beast out…
Slipping into a cloud…

Show the pipe a slice…
No mainstream artwork…
We just nasty matching nasty…

Bite size creativity sleazy, but
It creates those fabrics
That wont break a bond of order…

The kingdom understanding
No ocward…. Ness….

Bare with me
Till I charge back up…

“700th Post!”

I think it’s crazy how.

I’ve lasted so long.

No face in the mud.

No bullets in my back.

No more selling crack.

I cracked my knuckles

Before I’ll ever fumble my

Life.

I’ll get pushed

Down by some badges.

Searched up.

beaten down!

Naw!

never me!

I made it clear

That I’d shoot first

Before they ever bury

Me!

I’ll sleep awake!

So no one can take

My dreams.

I’ve grown here.

A month before I

Started typing on

WordPress. I was

Fresh up out the

Can. Throwing away

My I’d badge.

Damn!

House raided again!

Two

Days after. I was back

In jail. then questioned.

Almost violated parol

Into probation. Came home

Again to see my younger

Brother.

He gave me the

Referral to refurbish

My life. Then he said to

Me.

“Tell your story!”

“Well don’t tell them everything?!”

“Man wtf!?”

“Just type in!?”

“You don’t know how to!?”

“Damn it!”

“Just write and I’ll type it!”

I’ve been on here ever since.

700th BABEEEEEE!!

A negro still here!

Thanks for all the support, loves and encouraging words!

Peace and blessings to you all!

Heart Attack

Concealed the feelings I have for you…

Just like you wanted me to…

 

Feelings don’t matter when war is envolved…

This war I feel I can’t solve…

 

Do I give up on what I want?

Do I let go of who I know?

 

Is this a lesson or some trick?

To see how long I can hold out on this…

 

Will I just give up…

Or just let it be what it is…

 

I can want…

All I want…

 

What I want…

Will never want me…

 

So honestly…

I choose to move on quietly…

 

 

Quiet walk back to where I stared. All those months ago. I know I actually don’t deserve a chance. Chasing after a chance will only make your white shoes dirty. Your love I want to be my dietary supplement. Fuck it! It’s been to damn long…

So what do I do?

Stay in pain…

Rejected…

Or do I move on….

In your quilitys…

If I’m not worth it to you….

Then I’m gone…

 

Till no view……