Salt and Mud

You left me stranded

So I drowned in
Gun fire, Jack Daniels
And 40oz”s

Drama, flying saucers
Bullets lost in
brick walls

Lodged

In house furniture
Sold out slugs

Copper tops tree top
Pirus

Cookie cutters

My Dimu called
Them bookie
Butters

Like he
Had a speech
Impediment

Thats just Blood
edicate

Raised hell
A bit

To intelligent

In a cell a bit

Letters never
Sent never
Touched

like
They were
Celabate

You
Never sent
A letter back

The child
That was once
Beaten blue

Brused for
For nothing

By you

Clutching a belt
Shaped as a “U”

Ungrateful
And unfaithful like
Samson

So

I stay absent

Like you

Where The Grown leaks

Boyyy!

It’s some secrets in that
Grass filled nut cluster.
Only place in the City
With those many agonising.
Fuss over those plasma gases,
Erupting. The remaining broken
dreams. I’m sorry……….

For all those secrets to
Whom I was a major resident…
Of…

Seen more and, more broken
Dreams piled up in my memories…
I’m sorry…

I’m sorry that I had no compassion.
Iron wounds room, rounds, half fumigated.
can still smell the faces. The secrets…
Dribbled to dabbled.
From some grapes to raisins….

From Billboards new state
where some secrets were staged..
Loved ones missing days.
Months of sleep.

Imagine how that hard dirt felt
Keep secrets yet… Only
Those of them became worthy. the grounds creepier states… Of mind…

No capability, lack there
Of Santa’s gifts.
So many secrets
Sooooo so many secrets
That those dirty dandelions
Wanted to tell…

Even if those ugly weeds
could…

They’d become a secret to…
One of a promised action
Without the need for
Currency.

Sooo many secrets in my
Dreams!  They’ll Rome forever.
I’m good at keeping
Our giant show time secrets
for you….

No matter what…

Vanished!

Sore Feet

I herd that…

Presentation is everything…

My presentation is everything…

My presentation was you…

 

Bringing facts to my…

Beyond what I need…

I thumb brushed…

The tears from your sunflower…

 

You almost grew tired of waiting…

Waiting for me…

Through prison doors…

The first face I saw…

 

Wasn’t yours…

I wasn’t unhappy…

I got home you where gone…

The neibors said you packed up…

 

Left last week…

I understand you have needs…

It would be selfish for me…

To try to get intouch with you…

 

Oh I tried to be strong…

My brothers gave me money…

Welcomed me home…

I was smirking…

 

Trying to form a smile…

Hurting so bad burn victim…

I bought a fifth of brown liquor…

Told my brothers I’m leaving…

 

I just walked from west…

To east…

Like ta hell with a open container charge…

I just came from behind bars…

 

I’m not proud of my scares…

I’m not proud I was lost…

You hurt me badly…

I pathetically wanted to die off…

 

Walking in the street…

Infront of moving cars…

I picked a ragity vaccent apartment…

Sat outback…

 

So drunken…

So cold…

Inserted a fully mag of tears…

Unloaded them down my face…

 

Crying in the rain…

Like a starving child…

Wishing food was there…

I sat in tears…

 

Thats how paper tears…………..

9:15 PM

Faceless relics throw in a pan with olive oil, chicken blood. lighting a match to burn the picture above. The enemy! Beads dances from the other side of the family. Born cursed she said! Thats why everyone eather leaves or dies in our presents!

Believing that’s not the issue. Until it was a never ending cycle… Broken bullets to extract black powder. Rubbed it on my fist wunds to be more violent. Hallucinations of the dead in my pastence. I seen it in a car glass window punching the daylights out of it!

Mad dog no good! With a wild attitude! The same time… Remaining humble to his loved ones and good people. Kindness to a general subsides mass murder… Forgetting that y’all talked behind my back when I was gone. They said I was crazy. As well as other hurtful brand names! I can recall… I Keep it moving to leave it to the stars. Forgetting when y’all all had trouble. I was the man to call…

Old occupations never die off. They always leave the deepest scars.

How I wish I wasn’t raised in a family not like ours…………………………………..

The Last bonding… To His… To Hers…

To the paradox I once was foned of…

Tranquilized by my love for…

I bleed through bloody fist…

Punch on concept walls…

Till I fractured my wrists…

This is the final price to pay…

When dealing with the un-devoted…

Tooo free…

I don’t know what it is…

I feel like men are more into…

Commitment…

Than women these days…

When I fall out of love…

For enything…

I genuinely hate the year…

Then stand back up…

Fighting for love…

Seeds That Didn’t Grow

We parted dearest vines with thorns between us…

We parted with cries to meet us…

With or without your…

Kisses that use to make me feel the free… ist…

No words can save us…

No words can free us…

 

So I ask…

I ask why…

When all the answers…

Sit on my shoulder…

I thought you loved me…

 

To those who understand…

The true heartache of unattached…

A heart…

Unattended…

A heart…

I stuck a number 2 pencil in…

 

hahaha!

 

That pain…

Of that stabbing…

Will never be…

Equivalent to this…

Broken…

Heart…

Hahahahaha!

hahaha… haha!

 

You know What Bananas Do! That’s What I Did!

Break up?

Break up what?

Break weed up in a dutch!

Then twist it…

Separated is what you said to them…

Hell naw!

I climbed up out of that pit…

Hold on hold on!

Back up to when you stabbed me and gave me those cuts…

To find out I didnt do what…

With you know who…

You didn’t even apologize fool!

How many times did I have to tell you!

I DON’T CHEAT!!

Why?!

I wouldn’t want it don’t to me!

Plus I ain’t cheap…

I’m a priceless human being…

Go on and lie…

Tell everyone I was a bad guy…

However…

They were not there when my blood pressure was stroke level high…

My blood was so hot…

That they turned my tears in to smoke.

Chain smoking cigarettes till I was wulk…

Holy smokes!

I need another Newport!

My drugs wouldn’t even get me high no more…

Poor poor mind…

You burned away my good thoughts…

For awhile…

I didn’t even like the word torch!

Scars and scares me of what love can do to break you…

Up my sleeve!

I had an escape planed!

To flea from you…

I !

Felt !

Like !

Harriet……

Tubman…..

“🎶 Wait in the water…”

“Wait in the water…”

“Wait in the water children”

Ain’t no ryme or rythom to this…

I got the hell out of that bitch…

Let’s Talk About The Valentine’s-less

Not wanting…

Deeply wanting…

To be acknowledged…

As a great love…

A great man…

A great woman…

No light at the edge…

Sitting in silence instead…

 

No lover…

No loved ones…

No sweet or tenderness…

No heart shapes…

Can enyone relate…

Does enyone have a date…

Does enyone have a mate…

 

Let’s talk about the valentine’s-less…

 

Do you choose to be…

Or are you just saying it…

Faking the faces of a joyless joy…

Inside no love lingers…

Only held back tears never graduating…

Maybe lit middle finger…

Ring finger ringless…

As you…

Watch or listen to the other love birds…

While your without…

Acting like you don’t care…

On the real…

You do…

 

Let’s talk about the valentine’s-less…

 

Sad…

Not showing it…

When they laugh…

You blend in laughing to…

In your heart saying things…

Aginst valentines brutal…

It’s all cool though…

You can step in my shoes though…

Don’t even trip…

I’m just like you though…

I understand…

I know…

 

Let’s talk about the valentine’s-less…

 

I sincerely hope if your like me…

You will find real love…

I know it’s not even about valentines…

Or stupid cupid…

It’s all about how we feel…

Those on the opposite…

Will never know…

Hey…

Don’t ever feel bad though…

There’s always someone going through it to…

Just know that some people can say they dont…

Yet…

They want it even more than you…

 

I’m talking to the valentine’s-less…

I’m A Fuck Up…. I Won’t Fuck Up You To…

(Explicit content ) you know the rest… lol…

 

 

 

In loving the corners of dangerous!

Danger….

Us….

 

Even if it was lust! It was dangerous!

The….

Sex….

The sex was always toooo!

Hot!

 

 

Satisfing to a death row inmates last meal…

Yet….

We…

We still live!

 

Never knowing how you really felt….

“I’m sorry!”

Why didn’t you tell me…

Lasting sooner till later…

 

 

You…

Spilling your true emotions…

I really thought you where joking!

Don’t you go playing a kids prank on me!

Feeling….

Like…

She put a sharp ass rusty shank in me!

 

 

The sharp shank redemption!

 

 

Only redeeming more pain…

You…

Cried…

Inside…

I was only a mess of a man…

I couldn’t be cleaned…

No matter how much lemon pledge you had….

Your…

Secrets…

Where…

Said!

Right in the mid stroke during intercourse!

“I love you!!!”

Not taking it seriously…

I said nothing back…

 

 

“Baby! I love you…”

 

 

I told her…

Stop!

That!

 

 

She pushed away from me!

Leaving me hanging literally!

My minds type ropes felt like I was flurting with danger!

 

 

Pay attention…

I fucked you every night….

You can’t possibly really love me?!

Right!?

 

 

She said…

“Why the fuck not!”

 

I said…

You know the terms of how we met…

You basiclly said only for under comforters…

Right?….

 

She said…

“Shit!”

“I know!”

“I realized for sometime now that I want more….”

 

 

I paused………

Took a very deep breath. Got my clothes on.

Angry!

To the door…

 

 

She gotten up still naked.

Dripping sweat on the floor…

She grabbed me by my arm before my hand could touch the door nob….

 

 

 

She said to me….

“I really do love you!”

“Can we try to at least give this a chance?!”

“Alone I am!”

“What a shopping cart with no food in it?”

 

 

My reply…

Look me in my eyes…

Listen….

You don’t ever want a man like me filled with sinning…

Guys like me can only be fixed with herion needles, whiskey and gin….

That’s only going to hold just temporally…

Till the shit wares off…

I will never be fixed…

I…

Just…

Cant….

 

 

Then I walked out of her life…

Never to be seen again….

Am I Yours

Lately you’ve been distant. Lately you’ve been trippin. I just don’t get it? No hugs… No morning kisses before I’m off to my daily adventures.

Your constantly complaining over the littlest things I may forget then. You threaten me with vacancy. I say ok….. If that will make you happy. Then don’t stay…

I respect your any of your decision. I can’t live with your intentions. You get angerier and stay. If you don’t want me. Just say! You don’t  ever say…

Its like You just crave bad attention from me pushing me away. This is confusing… Brain exhaustion hurting me. I really need to understand why it is that you punish my hands? There is no touching you.

We sleep in the same bed. Let me even think about looking at another women. In my sleep… I’ll end up dead. You deprive me of love making leaving me literally hanging instead.

Everytime I try to put my self in it or even soft an entamate. You just shrug me off saying…

“I’M NOT IN THE MOOD”!

It’s been almost two months! I started to notice when your on the phone you get off it when I get closer. I never ask you are you hiding something. I don’t feel like hearing defencive mean comments. So I just keep my distance.

What is this!

Do you want me as your man or not!?

Your running me away yet you really care if I stay. Look! I’m not stupid… I no factually you aren’t cheating on me. So what is it? What could it be? Tell me something soon or the last of your views of me will be the back of me..

With bags packed for me….