They dooo…
They think
they doooo…
You don’t listen
You compare.
You brush me off
Like you don’t care.
Clarify this shit…
As My diagnosis
rolls up off anothers
Tongues…
like
Water off a leaf
That’s weak…
Let me make it
Clear to those
Who won’t and
Don’t understand
That the issue
Can’t be compared
To you self
Diagnosis of me
Or yourself.
Boxed in a
A box in corner…
Small walls
I can’t peak over
Them.
With out…
I dare you to
speak… Making
Me more lonely…
“OH just do some breathing techniques and exercise. “
Ok that’s fine!
but It only
Last for a little
while!
You wonder why!
I Don’t smile!
I just
Need a stronger
Dose im on
Enough meds
To take a bull
Down!
Make me bitter
At all repetitive
remarks!
You!
Don’t!
Know!
Me!
Let me tell you
How it feels to
Be me!
Relationships/can’t
Going out in public/won’t
Being surrounded by
new people your
Friend knows/ I don’t think so…
I can socialize
to an extent.
If I say something
Out of order…..
To the huddle…
You may or may
Not hear me
keep apologizing……..
So my isolated
My inner and outer
Being…….
These issues with
in me.
Can only be exposed
If you know me….
Or sometimes not
I just feel…
Real tire…
So good night…
O ya…
I forgot…
Most times group
With a bunch of
Me’s and yous can…
Maybe even a hand
Full can understand me…
Only!
My mind
Is…
Mostly out of
Order………
I never asked for
A pity party ………
Issues
Black Merc 0202-0-16
Lately I’ve been
drifting.
My old structure
of strict militant ways.
Don’t know how
long before.
I’ll be consumed
by the flames.
The past be the
past.
Glued stuck to my frustrated
psyche.
Being bound to
something worst.
Confused that sometimes
the worst deeds can set you
Free.
Mind filthy, rotting away off
The bones of my
decaying last good memories.
Life’s snap shots of
seconds of smiles and laughter.
Then Jokes become
sloppy.
The laughter becomes
annoying.
Reality kicks into
Dissipated smiles.
The heart is distantly
colder like a halleys Comet.
As I rapidly forget short
Small numbers and sentences.
I won’t die…
I’m dieing slowly along
the way.
Experiencing that first hand
failure to control crashing
Into ashes.
Warped feelings overdosed, lusting
for violence and gun powdery
children’s cereal.
Maybe inching instantly
towards a whole
solid insanity plea.
Watching humans devour there
nurturers and there nurtured.
A thick book deal guide through
corruption, scams,
set ups and confusion.
More and more I
Aggressively drift back
into that.
Predictably same facial
expression that never changes.
No matter the emotion, excitement
Happyness of whatever
Joy is.
My face will always look
The exact same.
My face stays stuck trying
to comprehend.
Why everyone looks
at me like I’m a stone.
Maybe I am one to
Think of.
I fail the try outs…
Then become more
upset that I pathetically try to hard.
Or is just never close
To enough.
All humans are born with
A heart’s worth of emotions.
Yes that is fact…
What do you call a human
That has to program there self to?
Feel it….
Or know when to receive it…
Reciprocate it in a way to
Trust the other.
Note that it’s not always
Out to break you or kill you.
From the inside out…
I feel less and less emotions
like when I was younger.
My emotions are plumiting
Stocks all over again.
A very bad investment…
Back to who I was not
supposed to been.
The rebirth of chaos is
about to began.
I can feel it..
It’s me…
I am chaos…
The second coming…
Is on the way…
Free Us…
So we will be one with our former self…
The form of a poker face…
Dead from With in…
The Black Mercury……..
Subs
Overwhelming
To many hands
On
Me
Life is abusive
Intruding on my
Reclusiveness
Introverted
Designer mind
Maxing out on
Antidepressants
Storing
Opening
Closings
Like if a brain
Was a purse
Am I a person
The darkness has no curfew
Inside my
Statistics
Life just ain’t what it use to be
Or maybe
I’m not use to
This new life
For me
Evasive to open arms
Gambled on backstabbers
Or if they are not
“We all”
Isn’t the genre I’m apart
Of
I had my hand down in class
Whenever life’s teachings asked
Us
“What do you want now”
I thought I knew
What exactly I wanted then
If I knew then
The horrible things humans
Mentally
Can do now
What I know now
I would have barricaded my
myself
my emotions
Behind my enemies lines
Your the one who caused my
Problems
Then the blame game
Ensued
Leftovers of me
I’m the one who will fix this
Over
Over
First dance will be fire
Then on crushed glass
Befriended hot coals
Then I
Walked over I always Notice
Know one at the end
Of my path
As I got closer
The people
Those loving
Abled bodies
You know
Those who’s
Told
Over
Over and again
“I’m hear”
Where noticed visine
Clear
Know one there
So I know where
Stand
Where know one
Is
I never expect
Anyone to know
Where my
New
Know
Where
Is
Where I bear my
Own oxygen
My own air
Ya
Im right there
I’m From L. N. G.
“BOULEVARD GO HARD!!”
Riding pass…
Yelling out of there cars…
This will be…
Thee last time I’m…
Doing this role call…
Edgewood!
Midway!
Springdale!
Norfolk!
They all know who I is…
They all no…
The bizz…
Noooo jokes…
West forest park!
Fairview!
Grantly!
Garrison!
Back then…
I was terrible…
I was known to…
I played pool…
Alot…
Hit me up on my cellular…
For eight balls…
In the corner of your pockets…
For those corners…
I was the best…
Every sales fell in line..
For there orders…
So embarrassing…
Liberty heights!
Chattam and Carsdale!
Denison!
North Hilton!
Scrambled boy…
In double O’s…
Ready rock city…
Where fiends…
Panhandled…
Up at the gas stations…
Callaway!
Arydale!
Wood Haven!
Bonner Road!
Night walkers scheme…
Strong arm robbery…
Breaking…
Entering…
Children…
With automatics…
No safty…
“Go mode!”
Carlisle Avenue!
Bateman Avenue!
Alton Road!
Piedmont Ave!
Damn brats…
Lord knows…
I love them all…
Girls and boys…
Don’t play with toys……
At the age of 14…
They are into the streets beefs…
Older men…
If you young men…
can live past there 20’s…
You’ll be on that…
Original gangsta…
Raffled…
Gwynn Falls!
Ellamont Street!
Clifton Avenue!
Wallbrook!
You can get murdered…
For a small fee…
For selling somewhere…
You should not be…
A skimpy bag of grocerys…
O…
Possibly…
Get your your pockets… emptied…
You’ve been taken…
Powhatan!
Hanlon Park!
Allendale!
Chelse Terrace!
Looking at somebody…
For more then…
The 5 second rule…
Bullets will certainly…
Fly in your direction…
The furnace…
Fairfax!
Oakfield!
Kathland!
Granada Ave!
Rest in peace…
To all of my soldiers…
Who won’t be…
Comming back…
Main Ave!
Berwyn ave!
Egerton Rd!
Dorchester!
Mega hard white…
Brown sugar or that tan…
Broken down…
Into the corners…
Alleyways…
Testers given…
The early morning applause…
Berrington Rd!
Sequoia Ave!
Belle ave!
Borman!
Kidnapped…
Tormented…
Tortured…
Ransomed off…
Over white squares of…
Numbing soft…
Where…
Those young bucks…
Steal bikes…
Throwing rocks…
At mormons…
Off porches…
West Cold Spring!
Oakford Ave!
Ridgewood!
Fern hills!
Shoot outs…
Bad deals…
Bad pills…
High heels…
That wave hello…
Broad day…
Police…
The Dt’s…
Shaking up pepper spray…
Ex pills…
Percocet prescriptions…
Xanax bars…
Unpaid bills…
Penhurst Ave!
Eldorado Ave!
Belvieu!
West belvedere!
Don’t trust no one here…
Most girls around…
Are everybody’s girlfriend…
Bad…
Hearts…
Vicious Fights…
Plegue break…
Out…
Between boys…
Men…
When they find out…
Who she’s been sleeping…
With…
Intercourse…
With both…
No remorse…
She just smurks…
Face..
To whoever lost that fight…
He’s comming right back…
Wild wild west shit…
Rite back there…
Groveland!
Dolefield!
Elderon!
Wabash!
White oak!
Crestfield!
Yosemite!
Copley Rd!
Love does not exist…
At all…
Traffic stops unlawful…
Hand cuffs to tight…
Wrist bleeding…
Leaving permanent scars…
Rats can’t come back…
Thee..
Tattle tails get brutalized…
Wolcott Ave!
Westchester!
Miami Place!
Fordney Lane!
Hot…
Abusive relationships…
Left both…
Men..
Women..
Dead…
Long ride downtown…
Homicide building…
You better run…
Board a plane…
Something…
Grown men…
Well..
We had more heart then them…
As children…
Bullets flying like…
“Jiu jitsu” kicks…
Little girls..
So sassy…
With there little hands…
On there hips…
Young boys…
8 years old…
Carrying condoms…
On the corners…
Loose cigarettes…
Marijuana out on the strip…
“A yo”
“Holla at shorrty!”
“He got that diesel out yalll!”
“Big dimes!”
“Big dimes!”
Ain’t no picnicking…
Ain’t no romancing…
No slow dancing…
First dates mean…
Motel recipt…
Credit or cash…
Bring your home girl to….
Library’s…
No books read…
The kids take advantage…
Are only there…
Of the free WiFi …
Facebook-en-off…
Perverted…
Instagram picks…
Ass…
Tits…
Narcotics detectives can…
Hit the block so quick…
You’d have to…
“Holllldddd What you got!”
Or swollow those those things…
If they catch you…
They’ll beat you bloody…
Yelling out…
Saying things like….
“Open your fucking mouth!”
“Raise up your fucking tungue!”
“You little bitch!”
About…
Let’s see…
50 Dirt bikes flying through the streets…
Tinted windows…
On vehicles…
Car…
Caravans…
Creeping slowly down the one way street…
Deviously…
Go Grab your heat…
Out of the stash…
Or lay…
On your ass…
Pistols…
Russian assult rifles…
Pokers out…
Swung from tall grass…
Vaccent houses…
223’s…
Hollow points…
Teflon chest protecting…
Now Its war…
Midnight Half gallons…
“Jack Daniels…”
Warm whiskey…
On cold mysteries…
You feel pissy…
All night party…
On the block…
Clocked in…
trap hours…
“What hood you from!?”
“Throw your sets up higher!”
No shook replies……..
“I’M FROM L.N.G!”
Reality Is The New Negativity Vol.1 