Mentalities relapsed+
Bloody scars that painted my
Knuckle+
War paint
Cuddles my face
I’m black and I’m
Proud+
From the
Feet to the root canal+
A tramatic opposite+
I linger in blank expression+
Eyes wide open+
without
No type of emotions+
Poker face here+
Not bluffing+
No room for let downs or
believing in something+
my
Own mental distruction+
Nothing+
It’s nothing+
Living in hell I’m use to the most, beautiful, rotton+
Sweet sorrows+
I Embraced
The reason its not to be chased+
The heathen+
Boyyy!
It’s some secrets in that
Grass filled nut cluster.
Only place in the City
With those many agonising.
Fuss over those plasma gases,
Erupting. The remaining broken
dreams. I’m sorry……….
For all those secrets to
Whom I was a major resident…
Of…
Seen more and, more broken
Dreams piled up in my memories…
I’m sorry…
I’m sorry that I had no compassion.
Iron wounds room, rounds, half fumigated.
can still smell the faces. The secrets…
Dribbled to dabbled.
From some grapes to raisins….
From Billboards new state
where some secrets were staged..
Loved ones missing days.
Months of sleep.
Imagine how that hard dirt felt
Keep secrets yet… Only
Those of them became worthy. the grounds creepier states… Of mind…
No capability, lack there
Of Santa’s gifts.
So many secrets
Sooooo so many secrets
That those dirty dandelions
Wanted to tell…
Even if those ugly weeds
could…
They’d become a secret to…
One of a promised action
Without the need for
Currency.
Sooo many secrets in my
Dreams! They’ll Rome forever.
I’m good at keeping
Our giant show time secrets
for you….
No matter what…
Vanished!
I can honestly say that.
I’m seriously indecisive.
Yet,
when I fully commit to
something or someone.
it can become a crisis.
The hardest critic is myself.
Yes it’s true.
Various mental issues
that plague my view.
Getting Tangled in past unpaid
Dues.
I’m realising that the same
People who try instilling positivity.
Are Condoning these new ways.
To be offended By people. Who don’t understand there offending you.
Fuck! I’m tired!
Fuck you and ya mama!
I can’t stand humans and there
phony mottos to live by but won’t
Die by what there trying to
Live for.
Falsified explanations.. excuses why not to do this Or say that.
Why not to believe in this or that.
The blind lead the blind mah’ fucka!
Don’t you believe in that.
Just because it sounds like it’s true don’t mean that it’s right.
Like being in a relationship and your partner believes. Every
Thing they single friend says is right.
Right?!
Bitch Wrong!
I’m so far beyond your
comprehension that.
I already know the shit y’all be on.
Next time I take advice. It will be
from the earth, not a pilgrim.
What lives matter?
Shut the fuck up!
Those white folk had
Me facing 40yrs plus! for defending
Myself!
Shut up!
Let me finish!
I say this right here!
I “Mr Thomas” solidly, solemnly swear I will never write about
Love and old love affairs.
Till the earth burns on its axis and explodes. from
Global warming ignored.
Atlest I know I wont be the only
Person to burn in a hell. Ain’t no
Self-defense laws for negros.
For the record………
Fuck you all I’m already dead!
Lol!
Fuck the love you know
If it’s true love you never had.
Life….. Or…… Death…..
21 years ago…
The doctors said I’d be dead within months…
12 years ago…
The doctors said you’ve got…
I think it was 3months…
2 weeks ago these doctors told me…
And I cut her off in her words…
“Don’t tell me what I’ve heard for decades.”
“I’ve been ready for my death date!”
Without this dream…
“Bring it on!”
Bring it on…
I’ve atone for some sins…
I could have die years ago so today I go…
The other ones I can’t let go…
“Let go…”
Doctors, needles, mental health episodes that breach…
Right past the thresholds of my fire…
Smoke so deep I can’t breath till these demons are out of me…
I’m outty five thousand…
Whenever the horns blow for me…
The final call…
All praises due…
Evil is past due…
So I laugh through my own silent clashes…
I waiting…
Bring it on to the door…
I told him years ago that…
I promised the man above when I was sitting in that cell box…
That…
I’ll never ever pick up a gun unless I really really got to…
Pop goes these weasels…
I saw there heads go pop…
I wish I could pull the nails off my aging stigmata…
Fine Devine wine spill on my forehead…
I felt free for a moment…
Till I wulk up in a coffin, coffing out my trials and my tenction…
From the heat burning my souls absences…
So tacky…
To death I say…
Spare me the teasing and bull…
Just read my lips…
Bring it on!
Just give me a dose
So I don’t overdose
Forget it
Let me comatose
Crochet my fingers into a rope
Mind locked its self behind the door
So how can I get out
Let me win
I’m stuck
Throw the sheets over my only motive to live
Give me a dose
So I don’t overdose
The mind says overdose instead
Hands shake when
I pick up things
Even a cup to drink
Fabrics drenched in Arabic coffee
Warm
Opposed to hot like I wanted it
I left it sitting on my table for to long
Eyes like rockets fuel burning
Under smoke
Trying to get a taste of a second hand
Slapped away
I don’t want your created pavement
To curl up on anyway
Give me a soft couch Cigarette in my mouth
Comfortable
And a small dose
So I don’t overdose
Stopped searching for the lost lists of me
Indeed I be the unholy
I know it
Sometimes to bold to be told
I have only days to live
Without cancer
I’m the cancer and a council
Of councillors in my surroundings
Funny how I can be a councillor yet, I can’t council me
Can’t nobody
I can’t use myself to cure
What I am
Or nobody
Placad at my face values like valumes
Antipsychotics
Together
Then face my low values
Phrase it to graze on my
Pains immortality
I battle with everything, anybody
People just don’t understand
You couldn’t ever understand a person like
Us
So stop
Persons like me just need
You to not
Just be there to hold
The mental and grow
Pleaded no sympathy
Fractures the light that once to glow
Just listen to me
Whenever I ever
Need the me time to wait for our time
Speak in a small dose
Because to be honest
I’d rather just overdose
Then to be told
I will be ok
Just give me a small dose of
Being there
These words are…
Only for the brains consumption…
A small creators mistake…
Mistaken…
Lies…
For truth…
Having no true value…
Like a house with no…
Cealings in the middle of…
Harricain season…
I seasoned the broth…
Surrounding that hot boiling pot…
I never fold under pressure…
So I wear a rain coat…
Coated in the flesh of my problems…
I got wet…
Its like I met my words…
Parents…
For the first time…
At the same damn time…
I brought pain to fruit flies in training…
Medications…
Meditation…
My words had a bench warrent…
The pages served it…
I’m only hear because I deserve it…
A waisted mind is the only crime…
My lines won’t die unless I…
Become another why That killed them…
No can’t or can nots…
I folded them Into a barrito…
I ate them in colors…
I ate them…
Because I’m not like no other
By the way…
Where the hell are my truck keys?
Do it big…
Or don’t do it at all….
low gift…
Small town…
Mind of an ignition bomb…
Explosion…
Instead of…
Doing something I’m good at…
I Retaliate with art focus…
Picked my book up…
Drew colors on white…
Paper…
Drew someones dead body…
On the pavement…
100 shots through paint cans…
Filled the power in mind…
Rough hands…
The real things in life…
people will never understand…
like if…
A rape was in progress…
You heard it…
Then saw it…
You took your gun out…
Dental flawsed him…
Is that a hero or a killer…
Didn’t matter because he…
Still got life in prison…
In to the rail road…
Out of the tunnel…
Magizine ejected…
Slipped in another…
I just pick my pen up…
To Retaliate…
Graphite stabbs the…
Middle finger…
Bleeding all over paper as…
A genuine peace of art…
Retaliated…
Fractured you with genocide to kill off your culture…
The last remaining fossilized in time in dart motion…
I just wanna live… I just want to live…
Scatter when vans pull up…
Bear cats and armored trucks…
“Come out with your hands up!”
Never!
Blazer rush of glory…
Watch bullets anointing me as I ascend into a Hell-ish like pasture…
Memorials of limbo…
I’m not afraid!
I was already born a bastard!
Into the world was my first sin…
All I know is what I know!
I’m sorry for those who wait for me to change me visions…
While in front of me lies my brothers dead!
In my arms…
“Wake up! Don’t you die on me!”
Europe was the birth place of our new ways of life…
No history lessons provided…
Strict-9 acids that broken down bloody pastences…
Those smells of formaldehyde embalming the lost…
How many have I seen die not counting the losses in front of me…
To damn many!
This is my way of life……….
This is our way of living……..
These are two halves now and it will never be a whole again. Kill us both! Trying in desperation to make things work. The two opposites are just to alike. Truth is…
Splitting hairs before they break off is the most painful in clipping ends. A lot of beer cans and liquor bottles turned upside down in those old times. Empty hearted I think was the name of the liquor.
Not knowing where to start or how to finish anything that you were use to. The truth is the truth. I just wanted to be killed in action. Not knowing that I was already dead. From the heart shaped glass dropped napalm into fractures. Breaking into sad smaller fractions. Sad never evaporated it just stayed lingering.
Pieces of me everywhere to point a thousand fingers. Seeing the darkness in what use to be my reclining chair. Promising myself in the mirror that this will never be repeated again.
I’d rather be killed in a long stand off with federal government agents. Praying…. Asking God to take me away from this pain of this pain.
Slow death and a closed casket please…
When I say stop.
You will not breath anymore.
A promise is a promise.
Haunting…. I know…..
No show will be aired today.
Just funeral arrangements.
A early morning wake.
As early morning breaks.
Hot heat surrounds me.
Taking me down town to be questioned.
It won’t work…
It never does…
I’m the mute…
The silent breath…
Reality Is The New Negativity Vol.1 
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