Salt and Mud

You left me stranded

So I drowned in
Gun fire, Jack Daniels
And 40oz”s

Drama, flying saucers
Bullets lost in
brick walls

Lodged

In house furniture
Sold out slugs

Copper tops tree top
Pirus

Cookie cutters

My Dimu called
Them bookie
Butters

Like he
Had a speech
Impediment

Thats just Blood
edicate

Raised hell
A bit

To intelligent

In a cell a bit

Letters never
Sent never
Touched

like
They were
Celabate

You
Never sent
A letter back

The child
That was once
Beaten blue

Brused for
For nothing

By you

Clutching a belt
Shaped as a “U”

Ungrateful
And unfaithful like
Samson

So

I stay absent

Like you

Attached

Mentalities relapsed+

Bloody scars that painted my
Knuckle+

War paint
Cuddles my face
I’m black and I’m
Proud+

From the
Feet to the root canal+

A tramatic opposite+

I linger in blank expression+

Eyes wide open+

without
No type of emotions+

Poker face here+

Not bluffing+

No room for let downs or
believing in something+

my
Own mental distruction+

Nothing+

It’s nothing+

Living in hell I’m use to the most, beautiful, rotton+

Sweet sorrows+

I Embraced
The reason its not to be chased+

The heathen+

Shea Butter

My intro wore your body

out like the latest

fashions…

Capsules in tattoos,

Brain washed by

Someone so called taboo…

Someone I
Spy, that’s brown
Skin through
My glasses…

Crowned by

Your influence,

To Shine gold sunz

over me…

Jewel of the

Smile only

motivates

My Integrity…

Lables of silk

Stampede all
Over your figure…

I figured out,

If I stay on your

Heels, then

You will make
One man…

The fool of all
That is real…

Untied, tounge

Out like unlaced

Sneakers…

Funny that I,

Peep us, more

Then you could
Ever…

I can write

A courious

About
My Visions on
Loop…

Yet, visions can

Be very scary
When you can see
Beyond the future…

The truth…

On self, I pray that I
Don’t place a
betting…
chance

With a Russian

Rulete mind

Frame…

For I know, that at

At the end, I’d

Be the one shot
In the head…

With no chances

Of surviving…

When love at first

Write, is a pen
On paper.

Out of control.

The odds of me

Surviving Having

A hole in my

Head.

Is a metaphor

For trying to find

A soulmate

that will

Never end.

Without us…….

Big Facts 400

Indictments! now the truth
Comes out.

My name is my
Name.

Yet I hid
From my own
Doubt.

Federal

No no no!

Investigations are gone!
                        So so long!

Now I can give…

Asia pronounced!
“I ja”

Yes, I hate my Name but, what true is real…

Can’t be excused.

Nore do I have to
Explain my Damn
Views.

It feels good to
Be back
Here!

Now let me
Lay back. Take off my
Shoes off.

I apologize
For not being
Honest.

For a reason!

Deeper….

Little explanations!

Understood only by those
That understand.

To keep my
Ass
Out of that iron
Vacation.

No sliding doors
For me. No Damn bars to hold me…

I hope you agree.

If not…..

Go back to the beginning
of me and re-read…

Now I will pay my respects to
Those who ain’t make it to 2021…

R.I.P

L. Turtle

C. James

Patricia b.

Kenny

Yawl

Cali

Avon

H. Rodney

Makk

M. Wilson

If I forgot some.
I’m sorry.

Justice will be
Survered
For y’alls
Murders

Happy “you” years to all!

Oh No’s

I can honestly say that.
I’m seriously indecisive.

Yet,
when I fully commit to
something or someone.
it can become a crisis.
The hardest critic is myself.
Yes it’s true.

Various mental issues
that plague my view.
Getting Tangled in past unpaid
Dues.

I’m realising that the same
People who try instilling positivity.
Are Condoning these new ways.
To be offended By people. Who don’t understand there offending you.

Fuck! I’m tired!
Fuck you and ya mama!
I can’t stand humans and there
phony mottos to live by but won’t
Die by what there trying to
Live for.

Falsified explanations.. excuses why not to do this Or say that.
Why not to believe in this or that.
The blind lead the blind mah’ fucka!
Don’t you believe in that.

Just because it sounds like it’s true don’t mean that it’s right.
Like being in a relationship and your partner believes. Every
Thing they single friend says is right.

Right?!
Bitch Wrong!
I’m so far beyond your
comprehension that.
I already know the shit y’all be on.
Next time I take advice. It will be
from the earth, not a pilgrim.

What lives matter?
Shut the fuck up!
Those white folk had
Me facing 40yrs plus! for defending
Myself!

Shut up!
Let me finish!
I say this right here!
I “Mr Thomas” solidly, solemnly swear I will never write about
Love and old love affairs.
Till the earth burns on its axis and explodes. from
Global warming ignored.

Atlest I know I wont be the only
Person to burn in a hell. Ain’t no
Self-defense laws for negros.
For the record………
Fuck you all I’m already dead!
Lol!
Fuck the love you know
If it’s true love you never had.

Life….. Or…… Death…..

Smelling Salts

Just give me a dose

So I don’t overdose

Forget it

Let me comatose

Crochet my fingers into a rope

Mind locked its self behind the door

So how can I get out

Let me win

I’m stuck

Throw the sheets over my only motive to live

Give me a dose

So I don’t overdose

The mind says overdose instead

Hands shake when

I pick up things

Even a cup to drink

Fabrics drenched in Arabic coffee

Warm

Opposed to hot like I wanted it

I left it sitting on my table for to long

Eyes like rockets fuel burning

Under smoke

Trying to get a taste of a second hand

Slapped away

I don’t want your created pavement

To curl up on anyway

Give me a soft couch Cigarette in my mouth

Comfortable

And a small dose

So I don’t overdose

Stopped searching for the lost lists of me

Indeed I be the unholy

I know it

Sometimes to bold to be told

I have only days to live

Without cancer

I’m the cancer and a council

Of councillors in my surroundings

Funny how I can be a councillor yet, I can’t council me

Can’t nobody

I can’t use myself to cure

What I am

Or nobody

Placad at my face values like valumes

Antipsychotics

Together

Then face my low values

Phrase it to graze on my

Pains immortality

I battle with everything, anybody

People just don’t understand

You couldn’t ever understand a person like

Us

So stop

Persons like me just need

You to not

Just be there to hold

The mental and grow

Pleaded no sympathy

Fractures the light that once to glow

Just listen to me

Whenever I ever

Need the me time to wait for our time

Speak in a small dose

Because to be honest

I’d rather just overdose

Then to be told

I will be ok

Just give me a small dose of

Being there

Subs

Overwhelming

To many hands

On

Me

Life is abusive

Intruding on my

Reclusiveness

Introverted

Designer mind

Maxing out on

Antidepressants

Storing

Opening

Closings

Like if a brain

Was a purse

Am I a person

The darkness has no curfew

Inside my

Statistics

Life just ain’t what it use to be

Or maybe

I’m not use to

This new life

For me

Evasive to open arms

Gambled on backstabbers

Or if they are not

“We all”

Isn’t the genre I’m apart

Of

I had my hand down in class

Whenever life’s teachings asked

Us

“What do you want now”

I thought I knew

What exactly I wanted then

If I knew then

The horrible things humans

Mentally

Can do now

What I know now

I would have barricaded my

myself

my emotions

Behind my enemies lines

Your the one who caused my

Problems

Then the blame game

Ensued

Leftovers of me

I’m the one who will fix this

Over

Over

First dance will be fire

Then on crushed glass

Befriended hot coals

Then I

Walked over I always Notice

Know one at the end

Of my path

As I got closer

The people

Those loving

Abled bodies

You know

Those who’s

Told

Over

Over and again

“I’m hear”

Where noticed visine

Clear

Know one there

So I know where

Stand

Where know one

Is

I never expect

Anyone to know

Where my

New

Know

Where

Is

Where I bear my

Own oxygen

My own air

Ya

Im right there

Hiatus Paralysis

These words are…

Only for the brains consumption…

A small creators mistake…

Mistaken…

Lies…

For truth…

Having no true value…

Like a house with no…

Cealings in the middle of…

Harricain season…

I seasoned the broth…

Surrounding that hot boiling pot…

I never fold under pressure…

So I wear a rain coat…

Coated in the flesh of my problems…

I got wet…

Its like I met my words…

Parents…

For the first time…

At the same damn time…

I brought pain to fruit flies in training…

Medications…

Meditation…

My words had a bench warrent…

The pages served it…

I’m only hear because I deserve it…

A waisted mind is the only crime…

My lines won’t die unless I…

Become another why That killed them…

No can’t or can nots…

I folded them Into a barrito…

I ate them in colors…

I ate them…

Because I’m not like no other

By the way…

Where the hell are my truck keys?

Mississippi River

What can I do…

When the feeling is so mutual…

I see you…

Ducking and hiding…

Don’t blame me for not noticing…

Just noticing you

Apologetic…

Heavey magnetic…

Inner drawing…

The energy…

Energetic…

Holding a bright catalog…

Like listening…

Hearing pipes sing like…

Old apartment heaters…

Tink tink tink…

Description is some skin…

You only see in the Amazon…

Tribal eye balls…

Might cause a…

Fire disired…

The pressure in my legs up…

I’m getting hot…

I need a check up…

Check me out…

I’ve walked through a…

Brick wall…

Looking at the body of…

Thick sliced spring water…

Signals in my mind jammed…

Like you through a chaff grenade…

Damn your so beautiful…

In your body is a outrage…

In a salad,dressing bowl of…

Fresh everything…

Even miles…

Uneven…

Eventually smiles…

For one reason…

Eye contact…

No Anesthesia

A crisis…

Terrorism…

That seriously needs…

To be abolished…

Acknowledged…

Not private…

 

 

This grease fire of evil intent…

Needs to be….

Fanned….

Flames more…

Attention and exposure…

 

It could be your…

Mother….

Sister…..

Aunt….

Grandma…..

Cousin…

Damn….

Why…………….

 

FUCK THAT!!!

Consequences should be!

Death!

 

 

Castrated without anesthetics!!

 

Fucking scabs!

That need to be pulled!

Offed!

 

BITCH!!

Bleed to death!

 

 

 

I’m sorry…

I can’t rest knowing….

That…

Out there…

Somewhere…

A girl or women…

Is being brutally raped…

Tookin………

 

 

Touched and molested…

 

 

NO!!

Let’s not hide this shit!!

Let’s ride for this shit!!

Fucking riot!

This is war declared!

These!

Creatures!

Carbon copy men!

You just as can’t be a father!

You were born!

How can you do this to a mother!!

 

 

 

I rather kill him!

And him and him……..

 

Smiling…

As I rot in a prison…

For a murder conviction…

If I could take ten men out!

With my bare hands!

In one day!

That’s ten less preditors on the streets!

Check your head count sheets!

 

 

What about her tears…

What about God’s gift…

What about those children…

What about there fears..

How the fuck can you live!

 

 

Let’s talk about it…..

Let’s walk about it….

March in peace…

With fire on our feet…

Yell in the damn streets!

about it………..

 

Fuck is you talkin bout!!

 

 

Riot!

Get violent!

For justice for the brutal violence!

From the suspect number…

187…

 

The real issue stay…

Set aside to decay….

More bodies…

Everyday….

Thats is swept away…

Dust………

 

 

 

Tell your daughters!

Every second….

You love them…

 

 

 

WATCH THE AUTHORITIES DO NOTHING!!

WATCH A BY STANDER OR WITNESSES DO NOTHING!

HER BEAUTIFUL COTTON TORN UP ON A SUNDAY!

 

 

Nothing……………

 

 

 

The rapist….

A preditor…

A theif…

A manipulator…

Weakness is what they seek!

 

 

It gets worst…

People whisper…

Saying things…

Whore……..

 

AND YOU ARE THE VICTIM!

 

While it only takes seconds…

For a group of demons to!

Hold her…

Down…….

 

Shot her consent…

Psychological…

Oven mits…..

 

 Innocence…

Demolished…..

 

 

Screaming for help…

Attire ripped up…

Finger printed….

 

 

Even if she lives….

She would probably take her…

Own life…

If…….

 

Or!

Say enough is enough!

Becoming a soldier!

In this fucked up world war……..

 

 

 

 

Death by firing squad!

To the dick and balls!

Pause……

 

 

 

This is dedicated to T. B.

And all the victims and case dismissals…

Your voices will not go unheard!

Your all in my prayers!

I love you alllll!!

Stay strong!