Browning Of The Roux


“Browning Of The Roux”

Quit bitching
Folk.

You’d probably
Throw up.

All in your
Mouth till you choke.

Can I get
A witness from.

Those who
Have been.

Subjected
To all types.

Of murder
Entrapments.

Oppression,
War, discrimination,
PTSD.

Hold up
Now!

Real PTSD
From rebel enemies.

Infidels to
See your well being.

Lifeless, loving
Less, teenager’s.

Killers with Chips
in there britches.

Masked up
Then home invaded.

Ransom shit
Stripped till humiliated.

Starving for the,
Lost betters.

From a bitter
No better life.

Always, off,
Scedual…

Fuck Your
Money!!

Though my
Tribe maybe starving…

Staying on
Dope just to gets sleep!

Drinking liquor to
Heal from the beating!!

Cocaine in my
Veins, staying awake!!!

For days!!!!

To dodge all
The heathens!!!!!

And if I bleed
Today!!!!!!

You will surely be
Murdered this evening!!!!!!!

They don’t give
A fuxk what we believe in…

BITCH IM BLAXKK!

BUT TO ALL MY
OPPRESSED ALL!

AROUND THE WORLD!
PLEASE DON’T BE SEATED!

EVEN IF DIFFERENT
CIRCUMSTANCES!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

THOUGH WAR MAYBE
INEVITABLE!

MOST OF THE
WORLD DONT GIVE!

A FUCK ABOUT
USSS!!

OR SHIT ABOUT
WHAT WE GO THROUGH!!

SAYING AND PRAYING
AND POSTING!

IS LIKE A FAD OR
BANDWAGON!

BUT IF YOU AINT
FIGHTING WITH US!

ALONGSIDE IN US!
ANYWAY!!

FUXK YA WORDS,
PROMISES, AID,
PROTEST!

LETS FIGHT
FOR OUR SELVES!

FOR BETTER PROGRESS!

KEEP YA SMILES
AND RACE OR RELIGION!

SPLAININGS!

CALL ME WHAT YOU
WANT!

THATS ALL YOU
GOOD AT IS HATING!!!








Smelling Salts

Just give me a dose

So I don’t overdose

Forget it

Let me comatose

Crochet my fingers into a rope

Mind locked its self behind the door

So how can I get out

Let me win

I’m stuck

Throw the sheets over my only motive to live

Give me a dose

So I don’t overdose

The mind says overdose instead

Hands shake when

I pick up things

Even a cup to drink

Fabrics drenched in Arabic coffee

Warm

Opposed to hot like I wanted it

I left it sitting on my table for to long

Eyes like rockets fuel burning

Under smoke

Trying to get a taste of a second hand

Slapped away

I don’t want your created pavement

To curl up on anyway

Give me a soft couch Cigarette in my mouth

Comfortable

And a small dose

So I don’t overdose

Stopped searching for the lost lists of me

Indeed I be the unholy

I know it

Sometimes to bold to be told

I have only days to live

Without cancer

I’m the cancer and a council

Of councillors in my surroundings

Funny how I can be a councillor yet, I can’t council me

Can’t nobody

I can’t use myself to cure

What I am

Or nobody

Placad at my face values like valumes

Antipsychotics

Together

Then face my low values

Phrase it to graze on my

Pains immortality

I battle with everything, anybody

People just don’t understand

You couldn’t ever understand a person like

Us

So stop

Persons like me just need

You to not

Just be there to hold

The mental and grow

Pleaded no sympathy

Fractures the light that once to glow

Just listen to me

Whenever I ever

Need the me time to wait for our time

Speak in a small dose

Because to be honest

I’d rather just overdose

Then to be told

I will be ok

Just give me a small dose of

Being there

Touch Lines

Tooth pick short

Brush painted blood forts

Flood birds

Black crows

Creole I speak to

Gathering the facts

That makes me weak

I break chains from feet

To move on…………

 

Everyone’s lines are

Different

Lane switching in the

Newport

Smoke kills so good

Love died already

Oh how I’m so ugly

Don’t look at my egg cartons

Into my eyes raw thought

Brought heads to meet

Thoroughly forming days

That could put me on

Trial

Any day

Anyway…………..

 

Everyday

I never think

Of

Going away

I have no one left

They took everything…………

 

From thee

All praises due

I calendar mark my

Days till my death

If my debt is payed

My steps are through

Falling in plain view……………

 

 

 

 

Lines of abuse trying to abolish the truth! Of a gun shell casing! Hollow and rain rusted my taste buds! Slain layed holes in temp tags with no title or registration………

In the facile light by what creeps behind me…

Those lights…..

Or double barrel pipes….

 

I’m gonna gun it till the last mag has emptied!

Power Washed

Who are you?

When your asleep?

Who do you want to be?

When you’ve awaken?

 

Watching over my…

Paper mache angels…

Till they run..

Soaked by h20…

Falling apart…

 

To my knowledge I…

Want the love…

 

To my heart…

It hurts…

So much…

 

To my eyes…

I’ve seen to much…

 

Ears on alert…

Shouting drunken panasonic…

 

Slight pain like…

A crawfish pinch…

 

Tell me I’m worth…

More than everything…

 

I’ll just doubt it…

Deny it…

Then move on…

 

Song birds sing…

Those same songs…

 

Can’t you see I’m hurting…

Can’t you see I’m hurting…

 

Even my tears have deserted…

Me…

 

I live for peace…

Even when…

There are no pieces…

Even left…

Of me…

 

Touch me…

Your hands will soak in gasoline…

You’ll only ignite it…

Saying you love me…

 

You tell me you love me…

I leave no discription…

You won’t see nothing…

Not me…

 

As sure as you were born…

You’ll never understand my pain…

Get Ya Isha

My issues are not an excuse

To all who think so

Fuck you

Sorry that

I can’t think like you

Mind blown by

Seeing blow by blow

Horror shows

Never a dare to see

This isn’t an equation

You can just solve

Me

This is pure glass

Spit

Slipped

Shattering before I talk

If you think I’m there

I’m else where

Mentally

In another dimension

Trying to find my way out

Of my breakfast

At dinner

When you talk

When they talk

When yall talk

It’s not my fault

I might not have been

Paying attention

Mouths and eyes

They will never understand us

Hand Out The Dirt

Over the hill…

I through the black cat…

Picking flames…

Off four leaf clovers…

I don’t believe in…

What the majority sees…

I reject clues…

I already seen sketches…

I see things that most look through…

 

Strychnine sipping…

Tilting over…

It’s not strong enough…

To make visions Dissappear…

 

I’m soo dead…

I’m soo fed up…

I don’t give up…

I never give in…

Segregated my thoughts…

From my actions…

 

I talk through plastic…

My eyes…

Bodies of blood…

Cold ice froze the plasma…

He died from a homicide…

The blood on his coat stuck to his face…

 

Rigamortis…

Tought me…

That…

It will never go away…

Waiting for me…

Waiting for my day…

 

When the dawn…

Closes and seals…

My horror…

In face…

 

Straight Up Depression

The original copy of. The mental pistol whipped in the head. Hairline fractured softly.

Do I want to live?

Do I want to die?

Die in this!

Pointless!

Pointless!

Errors birth right!

Sick riiiggghhhttt…………………

 

Driving my truck in stuck. Parked got out to walk into traffic. A post mortem morgage that I cant pay no longer. I don’t bother…

 

Aginst the wall upside-down, down and down. No following in may as well. Suggestions on what you think I need to do. Pushing on makes me want to kill myself more. There is a deep, deep place of peace in me..

Self burning down the past, present and future. Along with a picture of me smiling. After my fifth grade graduation. Bad times early! Left broken blood vessels! outside and on a child’s woes vessels!

Toes wiggling less from the rope manufactured. While legs keep dangling. No one heard me fall… Everyone was there.

 

No love…

No job…

Not Christian…

More criticism…

Mind of hatred…

Heart full of doubt…

Hatian blood…

Ex con…

Please never ask me about my family!

Sick…

Needing a hug…

Maybe a for head kiss…

No education…

High risk…

No sence…

No one gives…

They take with a smile…

Using love to lurer me in…

Do I look like a small child?!

Fuck love…

Fuck you…

Fuck him…

My boots float on top of brackish water in the lake. Low life welfare, project, section 8 peace of shit! Sticking around for why… Eating the same shit! Seeing the same kind of killings! Shoot outs on the strip! Everybody struggling just to eat and make rent! Looking into the eyes of a kid saying……

“He’s going to become a killer one day…”

“I hope love finds him some day…”

“No one in the childs house all day…”

“Will he just take his life one day…?”

 

“Sorry kid…”

I just don’t have the money. Fuck am I living for. When all my eyes see is ugly

Lifes great ain’t it…………

 

 

Bitter

Inside out…

I’m inside trying to get out…

Segregated from beautiful things…

I don’t understand…

So how can someone else…

The things people say…

Make me taste like vinegar…

Crack rock Vinyard…

I stand where I can…

When told what to do…

I can’t…

Stubborn….

Funneled favors through gun shot abrasions…

Asking lots of questions…

Lead to dead body’s in there basements…

I don’t put up a fight…

I can’t feel no pain…

To be me…

Alive getting older…

Just watching people you love…

Dissappear like roaches…

When you turn the lights on…

There gone…

Free us…

I want to be…

Be that person that laughs at jokes…

That smiles with high hopes…

That’s nice to….

Voices that quote…

 

“I care….”

“I love you…”

 

My days get worst…

You crawl away slowly so I don’t see..

I don’t blame certain people for there weaknesses…

I’m far gone from my route to give a shit…

Unhappy trying to look like I can deal with it…

I wear a mask even when I’m not robbing shit…

“Heathe Ledger!”

Was by far the best joker…

Successfully…

Still killed his self…

To breath…

Till he wasn’t breathing…

Differences…

I feel his pain…

I live it everyday…

I’m to myself…

I still get bother…

By people who think they no my problems…

Intentions good…

I still feel and think a different way…

 

“Fuck you mean!”

 

If I could be like them…

Do you think I’d be alone!

Trying to hide myself!

The outside world of myself!

Before eyes sight…

Please don’t look me in them!

For your own wellbeing…

 

I

don’t

want

to

be

this!

 

Your hurting not helping…

I’ll walk in front of gun fire…

Type roping…

Just for kicks and knee slapper’s….

If I could fully disconnect myself from my thoughts…

I’d probably be a yes man…

Dancing like the fucking monkey on “Aladdin…”

Racist shit…

 

“A whole new world🎶!”

 

Walking through the mine fields…

Of sins…

Hoping I can just find that explosion…

Turning my anger and illusions into…

1000 potions of extreme vigour!

 

I’m just the bitter……..

Picture a young man…

That the elders called 20 years older…

The young old man….

 

 

“Go Go Power Ranger”

Gone…

but never unconscious…

 

Right…

When you think what I say is wrong…

 

It’s cool…

I’ll just shut up…

 

A wise mind!

In these times…

Not excepted…

not allowed….

Pills shoved through my teeth!

I chased with idiots talking to me…

Don’t forget…

What you already did…

 

“Hold on…”

“Let me silence the muzzle…”

 

You don’t even get what I’m saying!

I don’t even understand my own lips…

Some say it’s a gift…

I say it’s my downfall…

A minds square foot…

Is measured by…

All my nevermind!

 

They talk to me…

My flame broiled mind!

Is in no hell!

I’m not in competition with…

The demons in cages!

Living in my consciousness…

 

“There there…”

 

 

They tell me till eventually flip out…

 

“I see dead people…”

 

No really…

I see dead people…

Looking me in the eyes…

Telling me to learn hebrew…

He grew to tall…

Till the rage was a mall!

Blood rushing down the escalators!

Into the dead pool…

Ruling the swim…

My sketch book of gang signs on in….

Tribes all dead…

I fear that I’m the opposite of alive…

Dead!

 

Open up the sky’s so I…

Can see the gates before I drop.

Suicide was never a choice.

I survived the hot desert!

Deserted round water I tryed to touch…

Turned into rusty mirages…

Got my shit in order…

Couldn’t dodge the bullet…

Or the book thrown at me!

By  jury’s and judge’s!

 

“Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help you god?”

 

Fuck no!

 

Only God can…

Your not a judge…

You can’t strike judgement through religion…

You wear a bathrobe…

If I wasn’t in handcuffs…

I’d drown you in a bathtub…

A warped mind!

War fead…

With halal…

That!

No one believes…

 

I don’t cry wolves from my disorders…

I stay in order because if I didnt…

You would not be alive…

Merry fucking Christmas!

 

 

When Cornered… This Is What You Will See….

Solve…

Never could…

It will never be…

I may not be…

A people person…

 

You can critique my delivery…

I’ve for warned…

So just expect the unexpected…

They just don’t here you…

They just don’t get you…

 

Stop being selfish…

Let people be there selves…

Instead of forcing your…

Ways for them to be…

Be There…

Listen…

 

Open your mind…

Open your heart…

A mental illness may not be seen…

Like that stuff on shows or movies…

Don’t tell us that…

It’s all in our minds…

Wonder why your lover or family member…

Or friend committed suicide…

 

It’s a disorder…

Google it and read…

Get a glimpse of our hell…

Starting with anxiety…

Its breaths…

Alive…

Listen…

Pay attention…

Instead of suggestions…

Instead of mentions…

 

(What most people say)

“You’ll be ok…”

“keep the faith…”

“Try yoga…”

“Why are you acting this way…”

“I really care about you…”

 

If you did…

When I warned you…

You should have studied…

To get a understanding…

Life isn’t a joke…

Neither is my sanity…

 

It has nothing to do with faith…

It has nothing to do with hate…

It’s a bodies…

Person, place and thing…

Like I said before…

It’s not what you see…

Its what you no…

Everbodys not the same…

So what may work for him…

May not work for her…

 

“Just be a listener…

“Just be there to listen to..

“Just bare with it or go…

“Or shut the fuck up and move along!

 

“Sorry…

“I’m so sorry…

“I didn’t mean to say it all harsh…

“I ment to say…

“Shut the hell up and move on…

“Less stress to trigger us…

“ya

 

 

(THIS GOES OUT TO ALL MY PEOPLE WHO ARE ILL!”

( MISUNDERSTOOD AND TRYING TO FIND BALANCE IN YOUR SELF AND THIS WORLDL!”

(STAY STRONG! AND TAKE YA DAMN MEDICINE… OR TEA OR WHATEVER YOU DO TO RELAX!”

(TO MY PEOPLE! I LOVE YOU ALL💪❤❤❤❤❤❤!”