Smelling Salts

Just give me a dose

So I don’t overdose

Forget it

Let me comatose

Crochet my fingers into a rope

Mind locked its self behind the door

So how can I get out

Let me win

I’m stuck

Throw the sheets over my only motive to live

Give me a dose

So I don’t overdose

The mind says overdose instead

Hands shake when

I pick up things

Even a cup to drink

Fabrics drenched in Arabic coffee

Warm

Opposed to hot like I wanted it

I left it sitting on my table for to long

Eyes like rockets fuel burning

Under smoke

Trying to get a taste of a second hand

Slapped away

I don’t want your created pavement

To curl up on anyway

Give me a soft couch Cigarette in my mouth

Comfortable

And a small dose

So I don’t overdose

Stopped searching for the lost lists of me

Indeed I be the unholy

I know it

Sometimes to bold to be told

I have only days to live

Without cancer

I’m the cancer and a council

Of councillors in my surroundings

Funny how I can be a councillor yet, I can’t council me

Can’t nobody

I can’t use myself to cure

What I am

Or nobody

Placad at my face values like valumes

Antipsychotics

Together

Then face my low values

Phrase it to graze on my

Pains immortality

I battle with everything, anybody

People just don’t understand

You couldn’t ever understand a person like

Us

So stop

Persons like me just need

You to not

Just be there to hold

The mental and grow

Pleaded no sympathy

Fractures the light that once to glow

Just listen to me

Whenever I ever

Need the me time to wait for our time

Speak in a small dose

Because to be honest

I’d rather just overdose

Then to be told

I will be ok

Just give me a small dose of

Being there

Subs

Overwhelming

To many hands

On

Me

Life is abusive

Intruding on my

Reclusiveness

Introverted

Designer mind

Maxing out on

Antidepressants

Storing

Opening

Closings

Like if a brain

Was a purse

Am I a person

The darkness has no curfew

Inside my

Statistics

Life just ain’t what it use to be

Or maybe

I’m not use to

This new life

For me

Evasive to open arms

Gambled on backstabbers

Or if they are not

“We all”

Isn’t the genre I’m apart

Of

I had my hand down in class

Whenever life’s teachings asked

Us

“What do you want now”

I thought I knew

What exactly I wanted then

If I knew then

The horrible things humans

Mentally

Can do now

What I know now

I would have barricaded my

myself

my emotions

Behind my enemies lines

Your the one who caused my

Problems

Then the blame game

Ensued

Leftovers of me

I’m the one who will fix this

Over

Over

First dance will be fire

Then on crushed glass

Befriended hot coals

Then I

Walked over I always Notice

Know one at the end

Of my path

As I got closer

The people

Those loving

Abled bodies

You know

Those who’s

Told

Over

Over and again

“I’m hear”

Where noticed visine

Clear

Know one there

So I know where

Stand

Where know one

Is

I never expect

Anyone to know

Where my

New

Know

Where

Is

Where I bear my

Own oxygen

My own air

Ya

Im right there

Hiatus Paralysis

These words are…

Only for the brains consumption…

A small creators mistake…

Mistaken…

Lies…

For truth…

Having no true value…

Like a house with no…

Cealings in the middle of…

Harricain season…

I seasoned the broth…

Surrounding that hot boiling pot…

I never fold under pressure…

So I wear a rain coat…

Coated in the flesh of my problems…

I got wet…

Its like I met my words…

Parents…

For the first time…

At the same damn time…

I brought pain to fruit flies in training…

Medications…

Meditation…

My words had a bench warrent…

The pages served it…

I’m only hear because I deserve it…

A waisted mind is the only crime…

My lines won’t die unless I…

Become another why That killed them…

No can’t or can nots…

I folded them Into a barrito…

I ate them in colors…

I ate them…

Because I’m not like no other

By the way…

Where the hell are my truck keys?

Touch Lines

Tooth pick short

Brush painted blood forts

Flood birds

Black crows

Creole I speak to

Gathering the facts

That makes me weak

I break chains from feet

To move on…………

 

Everyone’s lines are

Different

Lane switching in the

Newport

Smoke kills so good

Love died already

Oh how I’m so ugly

Don’t look at my egg cartons

Into my eyes raw thought

Brought heads to meet

Thoroughly forming days

That could put me on

Trial

Any day

Anyway…………..

 

Everyday

I never think

Of

Going away

I have no one left

They took everything…………

 

From thee

All praises due

I calendar mark my

Days till my death

If my debt is payed

My steps are through

Falling in plain view……………

 

 

 

 

Lines of abuse trying to abolish the truth! Of a gun shell casing! Hollow and rain rusted my taste buds! Slain layed holes in temp tags with no title or registration………

In the facile light by what creeps behind me…

Those lights…..

Or double barrel pipes….

 

I’m gonna gun it till the last mag has emptied!

Power Washed

Who are you?

When your asleep?

Who do you want to be?

When you’ve awaken?

 

Watching over my…

Paper mache angels…

Till they run..

Soaked by h20…

Falling apart…

 

To my knowledge I…

Want the love…

 

To my heart…

It hurts…

So much…

 

To my eyes…

I’ve seen to much…

 

Ears on alert…

Shouting drunken panasonic…

 

Slight pain like…

A crawfish pinch…

 

Tell me I’m worth…

More than everything…

 

I’ll just doubt it…

Deny it…

Then move on…

 

Song birds sing…

Those same songs…

 

Can’t you see I’m hurting…

Can’t you see I’m hurting…

 

Even my tears have deserted…

Me…

 

I live for peace…

Even when…

There are no pieces…

Even left…

Of me…

 

Touch me…

Your hands will soak in gasoline…

You’ll only ignite it…

Saying you love me…

 

You tell me you love me…

I leave no discription…

You won’t see nothing…

Not me…

 

As sure as you were born…

You’ll never understand my pain…

Get Ya Isha

My issues are not an excuse

To all who think so

Fuck you

Sorry that

I can’t think like you

Mind blown by

Seeing blow by blow

Horror shows

Never a dare to see

This isn’t an equation

You can just solve

Me

This is pure glass

Spit

Slipped

Shattering before I talk

If you think I’m there

I’m else where

Mentally

In another dimension

Trying to find my way out

Of my breakfast

At dinner

When you talk

When they talk

When yall talk

It’s not my fault

I might not have been

Paying attention

Mouths and eyes

They will never understand us

Hand Out The Dirt

Over the hill…

I through the black cat…

Picking flames…

Off four leaf clovers…

I don’t believe in…

What the majority sees…

I reject clues…

I already seen sketches…

I see things that most look through…

 

Strychnine sipping…

Tilting over…

It’s not strong enough…

To make visions Dissappear…

 

I’m soo dead…

I’m soo fed up…

I don’t give up…

I never give in…

Segregated my thoughts…

From my actions…

 

I talk through plastic…

My eyes…

Bodies of blood…

Cold ice froze the plasma…

He died from a homicide…

The blood on his coat stuck to his face…

 

Rigamortis…

Tought me…

That…

It will never go away…

Waiting for me…

Waiting for my day…

 

When the dawn…

Closes and seals…

My horror…

In face…

 

This Isn’t Self Pitying…

Hello self…

Your an idiot…

Seriously…

Your only occupation is…

Violence…

Timing…

Now balanced…

 

Before the sand dropped…

They said you were…

A walking massacre…

Eposodes display….

I feel there isn’t…

Enough Atonement for…

Hell is waiting…

Till I punch out…

That time card…

 

“Name your achievements…”

Ummm…

Shit…

I can’t think of none…

Turned wine into water…

I dropped that habit…

Bad habits like…

I gots to have it…

If I don’t…

I’ll take it…

 

The old design of a mad man…

I’ll hand Stand a…

Home made knife…

Into the faces of my…

Betrayers…

I hope that’s a word…

If not then…

Sue me…

Punctuation police…

 

I’m really not a wrighter…

I’m perpetrating…

I’m more of a title…

“Boo Boo the fool part 2”

I brought knowledge…

To a gun fight…

I won…

I wasn’t excited…

More wrong…

More harm…

 

The older guys said…

“What type of shit you on!”

Drugz…

Mugz of pain….

Filled chasing mind eraser…

Pathetically I find myself…

Back were I’ve started…

From…

 

I just can’t be…

What people want me to be…

A wise sage of savages…

Carving 7’s in lost heads…

7 laws…

Or I’ll break your jaw…

Idiotic I be…

No degree of sorts…

 

Leaving gun powder resin…

On hoody sleeves…

Running water for a shower…

In 5 minutes it’s cold again…

 

Shoulder scared from…

Who gives a damn…

I never be better then…

So…

Pass me that gun…

I’m ready to die for nothing…

Nothingness has always been my…

Dumbness…

So I’ll stay dumb then….

 

Straight Up Depression

The original copy of. The mental pistol whipped in the head. Hairline fractured softly.

Do I want to live?

Do I want to die?

Die in this!

Pointless!

Pointless!

Errors birth right!

Sick riiiggghhhttt…………………

 

Driving my truck in stuck. Parked got out to walk into traffic. A post mortem morgage that I cant pay no longer. I don’t bother…

 

Aginst the wall upside-down, down and down. No following in may as well. Suggestions on what you think I need to do. Pushing on makes me want to kill myself more. There is a deep, deep place of peace in me..

Self burning down the past, present and future. Along with a picture of me smiling. After my fifth grade graduation. Bad times early! Left broken blood vessels! outside and on a child’s woes vessels!

Toes wiggling less from the rope manufactured. While legs keep dangling. No one heard me fall… Everyone was there.

 

No love…

No job…

Not Christian…

More criticism…

Mind of hatred…

Heart full of doubt…

Hatian blood…

Ex con…

Please never ask me about my family!

Sick…

Needing a hug…

Maybe a for head kiss…

No education…

High risk…

No sence…

No one gives…

They take with a smile…

Using love to lurer me in…

Do I look like a small child?!

Fuck love…

Fuck you…

Fuck him…

My boots float on top of brackish water in the lake. Low life welfare, project, section 8 peace of shit! Sticking around for why… Eating the same shit! Seeing the same kind of killings! Shoot outs on the strip! Everybody struggling just to eat and make rent! Looking into the eyes of a kid saying……

“He’s going to become a killer one day…”

“I hope love finds him some day…”

“No one in the childs house all day…”

“Will he just take his life one day…?”

 

“Sorry kid…”

I just don’t have the money. Fuck am I living for. When all my eyes see is ugly

Lifes great ain’t it…………

 

 

Enyone Have A Spare

They hear…

Declaring there blood sacrifices…

Souls sold for a way out of poverty…

Somersaults into my own past scars…

Hearing the same car crash in the curcomfrence…

Nothing is ever around till they need…

Once they take…

They take off wind blow sounds…

I’m little now like before…

Making my own wars…

Bleeding old self bleeding…

 

 

Old love life was a board game…

Played by outside mumbles…

Don’t lie to me…

I said to a hand gun…

Chairs broken…

I hated how they were looking…

pointing at my black ravens grave yard…

All the good in this world…

Should help you…

Not critically force you…

 

 

I live it how I wanna die…

Fucking spies……..