“They think they know”

They dooo…
They think
they doooo…

You don’t listen
You compare.
You brush me off
Like you don’t care.
Clarify this shit…
As My diagnosis
rolls up off anothers
Tongues…

like
Water off a leaf
That’s weak…

Let me make it
Clear to those
Who won’t and
Don’t understand
That the issue
Can’t be compared
To you self
Diagnosis of me
Or yourself.

Boxed in a
A box in corner…
Small walls
I can’t peak over
Them.
With out…
I dare you to
speak… Making
Me more lonely…

“OH just do some breathing techniques and exercise. “

Ok that’s fine!
but It only
Last for a little
while!
You wonder why!
I Don’t smile!
I just
Need a stronger
Dose im on
Enough meds
To take a bull
Down!

Make me bitter
At all repetitive
remarks!

You!
Don’t!
Know!
Me!

Let me tell you
How it feels to
Be me!

Relationships/can’t
Going out in public/won’t
Being surrounded by
new people your
Friend knows/ I don’t think so…

I can socialize
to an extent.
If I say something
Out of order…..
To the huddle…
You may or may
Not hear me
keep apologizing……..

So my isolated
My inner and outer
Being…….

These issues with
in me.

Can only be exposed
If you know me….
Or sometimes not
I just feel…
Real tire…
So good night…

O ya…
I forgot…

Most times group
With a bunch of
Me’s and yous can…
Maybe even a hand
Full can understand me…

Only!

My mind
Is…

Mostly out of
Order………

I never asked for
A pity party ………

Let Me Exit

I don’t want to be your hostage…

Loving me enough to hurt me…

You don’t love me enough to let me leave…

 

I don’t want you no more…

You just make it seem like it’s me…

Calling me 200 times in one day…

You know I’m right around the way…

 

You can litterally walk out your house…

Walk two blocks down…

To see me…

You can be out all night not calling…

If I did that…

You’d be boiling…

hot!

 

Yet you forgot…

You like to turn your no goods into…

Me being un-trustworthy…

One thing I want to say is…

Why do you stay with me?

 

No answer…

Well!

I’ll leave!

Behind me you grab…

You came running…

 

Texted!

1000 sorrys per text…

500 hundred mean things said…

300 I’m going to kill my selves…

100 well fuck you thens…

 

Me!

Absolutely no replies…

 

I took my cell phone….

Broken it up five time…

Then I sayed good by…

Why do you want me?

At home telling everyone….

Some lies……..

Freeze Tag With Cold Blood Vessels

“The greatest love of all”!

A song that replays over and over in my mind till this day.  Never thinking that I would be alive to say. Times then we’re unimaginably rugged. Counting prayer beads. One by one around my hand between my fingers till I felt clean. Loading up a sawn off twelve gage. There is no need to know the rest. Day by day exploding inner stress turned to P. T. S. D.

Unfitting with vowels like A’s. Always living a Z to them… Trying to be an A was not the way for me in those days. Even turning the blind narcoleptic women into a sharp shooter. So her defense is Never penitrated by any cruel man or any savage women. Love doesn’t live behind these walls only the scared. Violation of snakes turning into what they eat. Like rabbits that run and rats with cut out tongues.

Becoming what is in there blood born a snake confused of who’s predator or prey. Tag! Your it! Cops search my car never even asking for license or registration. Planted drugs punching me in my face leaving a trail of blood dripping drying up on my white T shirt. It was summer time 2007 or 08. I’m sorry… Life’s picnics and cookouts. Falling in love with the women of my dream there. Left me less options to have loved someone.

Or anyone…

I…

Just…

Fell…

For…

The greatest love of all…

Vendetta money growing revenge!

BECAUSE I’M DYING INSIDE

Whats more
valuable than
money… Your
soul is the
answer…

Well in my
opinion. Whats
your true
worth?

Do you
know? Nope…
I don’t think you
do.

Before you
go to bed..
Well…
when you
finally do…

Do
you pray for
forgiveness?
Do you pray
for your family?

Do you have
family to pray
for?

Do you
sleep well? Do
you sleep at
all?

Do you!?

When you
wake
up…

Do you
thank the
almighty…

That you can
breathe today…
Also that you
have…

Another
chance to make
a change…

maybe you just
don’t even care…

Maybe when
the sun shines
through the
window…

On the
dark side of
your empty bed…

you realize that
your alone…

There is no one
there beside you.
Your mind
changes like a
on and off
switch…

Don’t it!
Should you
care or not…

Right…
Do people in
your life really
care about you…
Or are they just
using you…

I
don’t know…
Do people in
your life even
understand that

you’re one of a
kind and there
is know one on
the planet like
you?

THEY DON’T!
Be yourself
because being
different is
being
beautiful