“They think they know”

They dooo…
They think
they doooo…

You don’t listen
You compare.
You brush me off
Like you don’t care.
Clarify this shit…
As My diagnosis
rolls up off anothers
Tongues…

like
Water off a leaf
That’s weak…

Let me make it
Clear to those
Who won’t and
Don’t understand
That the issue
Can’t be compared
To you self
Diagnosis of me
Or yourself.

Boxed in a
A box in corner…
Small walls
I can’t peak over
Them.
With out…
I dare you to
speak… Making
Me more lonely…

“OH just do some breathing techniques and exercise. “

Ok that’s fine!
but It only
Last for a little
while!
You wonder why!
I Don’t smile!
I just
Need a stronger
Dose im on
Enough meds
To take a bull
Down!

Make me bitter
At all repetitive
remarks!

You!
Don’t!
Know!
Me!

Let me tell you
How it feels to
Be me!

Relationships/can’t
Going out in public/won’t
Being surrounded by
new people your
Friend knows/ I don’t think so…

I can socialize
to an extent.
If I say something
Out of order…..
To the huddle…
You may or may
Not hear me
keep apologizing……..

So my isolated
My inner and outer
Being…….

These issues with
in me.

Can only be exposed
If you know me….
Or sometimes not
I just feel…
Real tire…
So good night…

O ya…
I forgot…

Most times group
With a bunch of
Me’s and yous can…
Maybe even a hand
Full can understand me…

Only!

My mind
Is…

Mostly out of
Order………

I never asked for
A pity party ………

Limbo

(My verry first post)

 

Times are hard…

The only thing that keeps me going is warm blood and cold steel.

My life is complicated!

My days are darker than a solar eclipse slowly covering the moon of my life.

Until darkness…

I drink to get sleep!

I drink to forget!

Drugs now just ware off quick!

Time is suspended…

Lord forgive me for I have sinned to survive!

I will never have any regrets!

Slow me down with physical pain.

My tears will stain the concrete like blood in a dim lit hallways…

Blood stain on the sofa cushions!

Blood stains almost everywhere that there was a short story!

A battle!

I will never forget those days of war for peace.

To only loose peace of mind through my eyes!

Violence soaked in gasoline…

I find the defendant guilty of being misguided, savage and blind…

I received the chair!

Love me or kill me!

I have wounds that will never heal…

The world to me is one giant grave yard!

Me six feet deep…

Day by day…

SAVE ME!

I’m only what America made me…

I still live by faith holding my crucifix tightly in my hand…

With a stone grip!

Money still grows from hell’s tree leaves.

Hands that have roads on palms…

Hard like prison doors.

Autographed by powder burns from last night…

Sincerely time will tell!

This city is soulless undergone reruns that won’t end!

The days are interminable…

I watch a show of purgatory up to its highest volume!

Kill or be killed!

Another black male enslaved by his own funeral service…

People acting like they care with there crocodile tears…

falling to the grass…

Ashes to ashes…

Dust to dust…

How many of us will go next?

Forget justice!

Justice is just us…

Genocide from people in blue uniforms!

Am I dying or am I dead?

I can’t tell anymore…

I can’t dwell anymore…

My pain and suffering…

Just kill me already!

She loves me…

She loves me not…

She loves me…

She loves me not…

Then she pulled the trigger…

Aiming at my own heart!

Shooting me down!

Fuck it all!

Laugh out loud!

In their eyes…

we are a joke to them…

Examples will be made in this soulless parade…

SPEECHLESS!!!

Loose Screws

(A oldie right here)

 

Discarded…

Brave hearted…

A combination of Wellbutrin and dilaudid…

If I was ever your target you missed…

I’m heavily bothered…

Disconnected from life like your phone charger…

Pardon me…

Fuck it…

Why call her…

Like a poor man turned robber…

Screaming, crying inside like your new born daughter…

A lingering life of violence that wont move with out a starter…

A hovering presence of death that stays behind me like a stalker…

One thing that I hate in life is a loud talker…

Go head and get your gun boy so I can finish what you started…

You just broke…

Didn’t ask for help…

Now you starving…

I rose  from the bottom of the trash can in the streets like a bag of garbage…

Don’t get aggravated with me lady…

I promise…

I wont harm him…

If he ever swerves out of his lane again…

I’ll correct him like a problem…

Eventually if you keep throwing rocks at a humble giant for to long…

You will be dearly departed…

War is for the wolves not sheep…

You’re a grown ass man….

When you go get dutch’s and cigarettes from the corner store…

You still get carded…

You still wet behind the ears…

Me…

I’m just discarded…

In This Log Cabin Lives Passion

Lakeside is where I reside. With your rainbow wide across the skies. I think I might have died twice by the tease. A foreplay replay! Great me! Greedy! You want the whole thing.

Take your time with the consumption of priceless wine I produced. This is built hard spruce. Take your time picking the right tune to suit you. I got you the tools to fix it in my room.

Lie down on this foundation I constructed for you. It’s all for you… The weather man said that there’s a slight change of stormy endeavors. Come with me and on me. 

When Opposites Become Alike

You too close to me!

Give me twenty feet!

This is your warning!

For those concerned!

Shhhh!

Everyone quiet!

I’d love to give a special toast to my anxiety.

My minds panic fuse blown since birth.

We’ve Been together for so long.

Over thirty years!

You’ve kept fist swinging on every and anything alerting to my senses.

When you and anger team up.

You’re a tool for actions unexpected times unexplainable.

I know you better then all and this toast is all to you my love.

I hate loving you!

Finding A Way To Calm The fury With In

I’m still trying to recover…

Im still trying to get right…

I’m still falling.

Trying to grab a hold of the new ages.

A unfinished prototype of a man with no feeling and no compassion trying to transition to a normal future! Interactional and compatible rearranging my thoughts into love and not flames.                                                          I won’t go to far. Medicating between Wellbutrin and Bupropion. Sertraline to walk the type rope to hope. Please don’t fall… Hoping to God when I’m in public that know one bumps into me or look me in my eyes a certain way.                                    They say I’m fucked up… Seroquel won’t even put me to sleep. My mind skips a beat sometimes when I hear old songs. Triggering flash backs of a savage nostalgia.                                                             A child that knew no real punishment untill I met the true devil.

I don’t go far… No mirrors, pictures or clippers to shape my life up. Cutting off the ties of the guys that I once looked up to as a child.                                                 Now all dead and gone or getting high somewhere strung out creeping through the back Windows stealing only to satisfy there drug apitites.                            Some of them are doing maximum time behind the iron bars or on death row awaiting to die slow.

Can someone tell me the reason for a prison sentence of life plus 75 years? Do you have to die twice in order to come home and see your kids?

This is the prototype of a man Trying to transition.

The Transparent Insurgent

An chaos erupted in the mind of the corrupted don’t interrupt him while he pours his gin.

Sitting back in the back seat acting as if he’s napping forgetting that he never sleeps they were speechless!

As he witnessed the setup taking place in the face of the blaze of rage with steel being pulled out the babies car seat then discharging.

I beg your pardon! He said… So they put gloves on instead hoping out of the car spinning lead like they were weaving spider webs.

Being a mastermind was his only crime seeking the death penalty in many. Perfectionist… After they emptied out their easy bake ovens peeling muffins knocking blue berries out disgusted.

The napping man that wasn’t watched it all from the back seat of the car like a hollywood star. Hands never getting dirty as hand sanitizer was his number one endorser.

Now what he sees he’s seen since a bean now a grown stalk that produces a dark art immune to violence of the highest capacity. Loaded magazines sounding off the forth of July. No lie!                                  More truth than the story of sojourner truth. Was a victim… Truth! Of a broken system… Truth!                                                 See… You can’t blame him or play him for he is the silent commander of Well organized soldiers. Turning pebbles into boulders. Don’t forget what I told ya. The mastermind always faked his or her slumber so please don’t end up a number. Just listen and pay close attention. Henchmen, tension,  realizing his mentions and intentions on being missing but visually visible.

All eyes on the quiet ones…

Notice that the ones with their tongues out always speak the loudest…

 

 

I’ve Moved On But Don’t Forget That I Can Still Do You Wrong

I ain’t shit!                                                          I cannot change my past. Never changing like the number 8. Know matter how much you shape it. Rewinding the cassette tape till it breaks.

I’m still paranoid!                                             Still looking through the blinds in the house till they get stuck in the same position like that. Still chocking the air out of old memories till his Adams apple cracks.

There are still peaces of me that want to make my enemy’s bleed. Fragments of the fragment of your imagination that you picked up and thought I was of a weak breed.

Weak!

Me!

Don’t make me pull this knife out of my sleeve or just break your jaw leaving the pieces flying like hurricane debris. Sometimes I still feel like I’m a young buck again and I can take over corners like back in the early 2000. All the money in my pocket is dead like the mens faces on them.

I might have changed realizing I must over come my past life by every inch of gains. When I think of all the lives lost and close friends and associates that all have life sentences. I think to myself knowing God put me here for a valuable reason. I never will go get the past or even those promises made. I going to continue to walk forward leaving my old days and bad days like I graduated to the next grade.

Them Power Pellets

M. D. M. A.                                                      I need you to take my mind away. I want you to put my mood in a better place. When you don’t hug me with warm and tingles.

I want to kill myself along with the long conversations I had with me. Stay with me Ecstasy! Live in my system forever.

Make endless love in me last. I’ll drink plenty of water. Liquids containing vitimin C.

All to enhance the quality time between you and me. I took you in like my medicine. Leaving me in the room by myself with glasses on at night vibes amazing listening to loud music.

Playing the same song on repeat repetitively. Feeling a inner love like yours is a powerful force field around my anti social. Bunny rabbits like thumper talking softly to a young fawn like Bambi.

That was just those strippers Mandy and sandy. I don’t fucking remember. The broad with the dorsal fin hair style with pink braid extentions.

Trying to get a hold of my lucky charms of all colors and different shapes. If or when you find her. She will be your best date.

Till your decease day. Dating the hating demons dancing around the dark shadows of your room. Do you see them?

Do you!

ELEMENTAL REFLECTIONS (Remastered)

FIRE!!!

The mad side the sad side… Anger! A phoenix rises from the ashes of my enemies as I rage on and break my slavery chains of passion, camouflaged in sheep clothing  as I take control over your mind and soul for my own devious purposes. I’ve just conquered  you just to destroy you from the inside out. HAHAHAHA!!

ICE!!!

My cold an powerful words can cut you like ice sickles of solitude and strength can form glaciers of insurmountable path ways that block all negativity and harm .from getting to me.

WATER!!!

A smooth prodigy I be. The true reincarnation of Malcolm X by any means. With my poise and ethereal image I can make like a faucet and drip sweet words from my lips and etc. I can form rain from your eyes and raise thunder storms from the palm of my hands in advance and destroy all of your plans with no trace of a single drop of h2o.

WIND!!!

Tornadoes and hurricanes rise high to the top of the atmosphere touching the astral tips of the skyline  where you will find my mental level sometimes. I other words I feel like no one cane join me by hand and mind because I’m to high up. Please feel free to join me if you dare because there is no air where I am. Is there anyone on my level of thinking or do I have to let the wind do the talking and let the cyclones do the walking. I’ll just send a tsunami of thoughts threw your brain waves to crash into wet sands.

EARTH!!!

With my feet planted to the ground I will bloom soon with the trees growing to become the final release for me to breath every breath I choose. Try not to touch the beautiful rose thorns covering my arms and palms because you will get hurt. You will bleed the poison I possess in the the photosynthesis of my finger tips sharp like jagged rocks my skin color tan like Quick sand ready to swallow your life existence whole if you deceive me in anyway trust me.

I am a force of pure nature and I am all five elements that produce pain, joy, sorrow, rage and happiness. I AM FIVE!!!