Cutt Out

When ties cut.
The fall will be

massive like.
Lies that touch

the lives of the gullible.
Pure, poor bastards

who also.
Took a life or took there own after…

Im not surprised.
To hear all the

guilt tripping.
Foot clipping.
Thoughts into

self doubt.
Heart breaking how.

You cant feel or hear any push of confidence.

Aggressively being

told that you will make it out…

With a hand full of sillys

and glitter Lillys. Pinching

your nerves, to see them

happy while you suffer.

Wanting nothing in life.

To not be toxic. To

toxic for wanting a friendship. Can’t even comprehend your

own insanity to begin with…..

“They think they know”

They dooo…
They think
they doooo…

You don’t listen
You compare.
You brush me off
Like you don’t care.
Clarify this shit…
As My diagnosis
rolls up off anothers
Tongues…

like
Water off a leaf
That’s weak…

Let me make it
Clear to those
Who won’t and
Don’t understand
That the issue
Can’t be compared
To you self
Diagnosis of me
Or yourself.

Boxed in a
A box in corner…
Small walls
I can’t peak over
Them.
With out…
I dare you to
speak… Making
Me more lonely…

“OH just do some breathing techniques and exercise. “

Ok that’s fine!
but It only
Last for a little
while!
You wonder why!
I Don’t smile!
I just
Need a stronger
Dose im on
Enough meds
To take a bull
Down!

Make me bitter
At all repetitive
remarks!

You!
Don’t!
Know!
Me!

Let me tell you
How it feels to
Be me!

Relationships/can’t
Going out in public/won’t
Being surrounded by
new people your
Friend knows/ I don’t think so…

I can socialize
to an extent.
If I say something
Out of order…..
To the huddle…
You may or may
Not hear me
keep apologizing……..

So my isolated
My inner and outer
Being…….

These issues with
in me.

Can only be exposed
If you know me….
Or sometimes not
I just feel…
Real tire…
So good night…

O ya…
I forgot…

Most times group
With a bunch of
Me’s and yous can…
Maybe even a hand
Full can understand me…

Only!

My mind
Is…

Mostly out of
Order………

I never asked for
A pity party ………

Touch Lines

Tooth pick short

Brush painted blood forts

Flood birds

Black crows

Creole I speak to

Gathering the facts

That makes me weak

I break chains from feet

To move on…………

 

Everyone’s lines are

Different

Lane switching in the

Newport

Smoke kills so good

Love died already

Oh how I’m so ugly

Don’t look at my egg cartons

Into my eyes raw thought

Brought heads to meet

Thoroughly forming days

That could put me on

Trial

Any day

Anyway…………..

 

Everyday

I never think

Of

Going away

I have no one left

They took everything…………

 

From thee

All praises due

I calendar mark my

Days till my death

If my debt is payed

My steps are through

Falling in plain view……………

 

 

 

 

Lines of abuse trying to abolish the truth! Of a gun shell casing! Hollow and rain rusted my taste buds! Slain layed holes in temp tags with no title or registration………

In the facile light by what creeps behind me…

Those lights…..

Or double barrel pipes….

 

I’m gonna gun it till the last mag has emptied!

A Title To Kill For

Rain on boots for what!

SKS!

Rifle songs!

Took his limbs off!

T-shirts!

Deceased Faces on them…

That bubble stick blew no bubbles…

From Here…

To hell!

No fear here…

We are all use to this…

These young kids dwell…

Where unmasked terrot cards drop…

Falling out of  there black back pockets…

I picked one up…

It was the death card…

So clechie……….

 

My First Bourbon

Where was I when I was not me?

Running back to a burden…

Nothing left behind in that apartment fire…

I’m so sick of being tired…

The back pains…

Pain pills I’m immune to…

Built up…

Tolerance to not even feel…

No miller grams can heal…

I water the air with past tears…

The ones past down from years…

Breaking head lines in the city…

Bragging about the no love zones…

You will get robbed by your loved ones…

I just want to touch heaven…

Even if I can’t go…

Asking…

The women next to be…

If you leave…

Just don’t take my globe…

That’s all I own in this hell…

loud ass shots ring…

I almost picked up my cell phone…

The next cigarette you go to smoke…

I’m going to put it out on you atoms apple…

I can’t stand your incompetent nicotine…

Something I  know you need…

You just need not smoke it around me…

If I die wit you…..

Fuck it!

let me hit that to…

My ruptured blues…

Down Time

I’m just down…

Nothing more…

Nothing less…

Unless this was…

A cry out…

It’s more like I nest…

In the chest…

Between heaven…

Maybe hell…

I don’t smile…

I don’t frown…

I don’t date…

I don’t dance…

I just wait…

This couch…

Holds my weight…

Like my shoulders…

Triple beem…

Me not awaken…

I  feel like laying…

In loneliness…

As far as I will only get…

I only get why…

Pressure points are soft…

So I’ve open them…

No matter how I sound…

Or how I may laugh…

I’m not a nice man…

I’m not the right man…

I’m bound and gagged…

To the obituaries on my night stand…

If I was ever hurt…

I got no apologies…

If I was ever broke…

No one looked out for me…

Life isn’t a joke…

Nore is it a boat…

To sail me to a fucking…

Promise land…

Trust me…

If I start to cry…

Don’t prey for me…

Prey for the a cannibals carnage…

I left blood behind…

I fear nothing…

Not even the voices inside…

To me…

Lies are my worst enemy…

Human beings are mostly fake…

Like your Gucci jeans…

So much old heroin in my system…

You could extract it…

To make a pekingese…

If I robbed someone and got caught…

I’ll damn near get life in prison…

When we get robbed by the government…

It’s called taxes…

I’m just down…

I’m not practicing………

 

A Complicated Spirit

Surrounded by walls of agony. Trapped in a cell that I can’t escape from. Starving is what has broken my moral compass. Hand washing my blood soaked tee shirt in toilet water. The only thing That I own in this world is my bible and black rosary. You couldn’t walk a centimeter In my shower shoes. State issued… My blood type is concrete. My state of mind is a phoenix burning the halo above my consciousness. No progress has been made. Not a role model or an influential iconic mortal human being. Enslaved by psychosis and paranoia looking around the corner where know life ever grows. Stabbing wholes in the bed sheets makes my life complete. I’ll stay celibate and pure Away from gutter lily’s. Lord I’m on my way so shine your eternal light where I stay. Baptize me in gun oil an throw your lit match to eviscerate all of my violent sins. A former gangster repenting on his burgundy knees clutching his heavenly prayer beads, and I will parish on my feet as the last of a dying breed.

Pain Killers

I died today…
Rest in peace…
So sad my life
ended like it started.
Addiction…
I couldn’t shake
it so I dissolved
in my own bag
of brown sugar.
The pain it wouldn’t
stop, the flames
were very hot and
I’ve stained the
minds of lots,
but only after death.
No pot to piss
in so I stole yours.
Bewildered…
Kicking in door
after door only
to find more
problems on
the other side.
Your irresponsible
lectures turned me
out. Making me
heartless.
This is evidence
that supports
and confirms
my statements.
I laid on her
stomach at
night rubbing
my fingers on
her cesarean
scars and she
took her
pocket knife
that was already
stained with
her past lovers
blood and
stabbed me
in the back
and twisted
the blade
until it broken
in my flesh
to create
more pain.
I didn’t die
from that.
I died because
I loved for
one second to
many and
turned my back.
That was
the first time
my tears created
acid that
dropped in my
hands and burned
away the calluses.
I am so glad to
be dead.