I Race For Us

I can’t feel you next to me…

Your heat…

Reaching my arms out through air…

I couldn’t sleep…

There’s know one there…

 

I lie down just to dream…

Your out of this world…

Love…

In layers…

Stacked…

Cakes…

 

When you come home tonight…

Dinner will be hot…

Taking care of business can wait…

Turning my cell off like I payed the bill late…

 

Last night we…

You really love how old fashioned I am…

You embrace the man that is here…

That’s rare…

For me to find in a women…

 

These hands where made to touch your hips…

I’ll take my time with you…

Molasses on slow out the jar…

Slow…

Living in our black and white photography…

I wrote you something sweet…

For you to think of me…

Only your eyes can decode it…

 

I watered every plant life in the house…

Just like you do…

Under these sheets.

Mmmmm……

Softly you will submit to me….

Then vice versa…

Yes you….

You will subit to…

Surrending your love…

Try to handle the movements of me…

In deep…

 

Breaching below, above and beyond…

Lay down your loaded weapons…

You used to shoot me down with…

When I am finished…

You will forget what year it is…

Your urges liked…

 

Bodys applause…

Never!

I want to live in your fantasys like this is “Narnia”

That forever!

Im cought up…

Assassinating a lonly one night…

For our pleasure…

 

Deeply in the internal organs…

Stablizing your blood pressure…

I’m telling ya!

That…

Type of man…

Me…

Leaves his toes were they stand…

You told me you wanted to permanatly feel me…

Your heart holds my hand…

I no everything will be alright…

 

You came through for me every time I needed…

And not…

You wore every shirt that I took off every night…

So these are the reasons and more…

I never want you to leave my sight…

Not unless you wanted…

Forever I will be…

On your team!

I race for us!

 

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Fenesser Of Fenessers

You!

Ha!

You tried yet you failed!

I’m to Damn smart for that!

I seen it comming before it even happened!

I froze time in my mind…

Then took mental pictures…

Oversized…

Thinking way past your deception…

Thinking faster past your mind crowded with greed…

You made it very easy to see…

You left bread crumbs like a little mousse…

I already knew I would be looking down the burrel of a pistol…

I knew you were always a sucka!

You never had that killer instinct in you!

Boy you weak!

You know Damn well you was never built to pull triggers!

I guess you weren’t as dumb as I thought…

Ok… Ok…

I’ll let you slide this time once…

I must let you know though…

I’m taking it easy on you…

That don’t mean my people will…

Hahaha!

Rule number one boy…

“You must always finish the triathlon you started.”

Days later I got the news…

Have a nice snooze…

Zzz zzz…. Zzzzzzzz…. Zzzzz….

Proclaiming Human Nature

Till the sun rises…

I will fill you up with my dream catchers promises…

Never destroying your nature’s habitat…

Exotic plants in your forest…

Never rebuilding something over you…

Never destroying your beautiful ecosystem….

The thought of violation deminishes our spiritual Nest to lay in…

I’ll water you everyday…

Every grain of land in your possession…

Hard groath and development…

Exposed you to my light…

Enveloping your sweet spots deep spots…

Open your canopy wide…

I want to ease the pain inside…

I’ll drop in were many men couldn’t…

They never even tryed…

Reaching for your koi pond…

Your minds deep secrets of powerful thoughts inside…

Your more than someone I love to look at from behind…

Paying close attention to your lines…

Old connections released…

Oh Mother earth…

Mother of tremendous worth…

Posen as the silent treatment…

I understand…

Use my minds bare hands to flood water over wetlands…

I hope you own a boat…

Those running emotions…

Will be risen till afloat…

Like never before…

Clear waters presipation fights away the fog…

Never the less…

My existence of smoove flesh, arms and and finger tips…

Caressing the remainder of rain drops left…

Always remaining on your lands side left…

I swear!

Selfishness Will Not Be Tolerated The Boy Said…

Jumping trains!

To get to the cheese…

Hoping there are no traps set for that steroid abusing mouse. On girl! To rush brightening up dull worlds. Have you ever been so broke that you robbed hope? Stripping it for the dough. Have you ever car jacked comfort? Just for better living for you and yours. Driving off doing zero to one hundred! With no remorse for eny bad out come! Have you ever cut the head off of a snake? Just to live! If you didn’t you’ll be dead…

Only to have better safer days! Let me know how it feels to be comfortable were you live! I no that there is always food in your crib! Kids breaking in your house! Ignoring your luxuries! Gold and jewlry! In your place or apartment raping your Refrigerators for lunch meat to eat!

True stories of the new youth and the old truth of the first… They got to look for three clues like blues. Wearing All black or burgandy… hoodied up instead! Calling bluffs ingredients!

“Kick dat shit out!”

“I know you got it!”

The young boy said!

With a gun pointed to the mans ribs! I see this beeing a growing major cycle! Never ending like the search for a life missing!

 

 

“Maya Rudolph” I Hear You….

I can’t help it that I’m pail…

I can’t help it that I’m light skinned…

I can’t help it that I’m only 40% african…

But….

I don’t give a damn if you don’t except it!

I don’t give a damn if you don’t except me!

Threaten me!

G- check me!

Culture check me!

Can’t figured out my nationality!

I’m so damn mixed up….

 

 

It is what it is…

You ain’t gunna fight me!

So shut ya lips!

If you want to fight me…

I promise to break your ribs…

 

 

For your imfo… I’m not a stranger to criticism. Name calling… Most races think I’m eather this or that decent. I can’t help it from ancestors cross breeding…

Some were by choice… Some were by rape…

I’ll admit! I use to let these things crush me. Crush me that I didn’t no my own identity… Now personally! I could give a damn what you like about me… I got into a fight the other day. I left him struggling to stand up on his feet…

Knuckles all bloody… So I packed my wounds with salt and soround wrapped them… A guy that was african… Said that I wasn’t real. He called me a half and half and continued to stair. He got what he asked for when shit really got real…

Obviously he didn’t no me… Or maybe he thought I was weak because I had on glasses…  Who knows… Still didn’t stop him from getting his ass kicked… Lord knows I didn’t want to “foot him a bill”…

See…

I am…

Peaceful…

Until…

You make…

Peace leave me…

I’m sorry everyone… I can’t help it that I’m a mixed breed….😧😧😧

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“A yo!” “Wusup hommie”! “How you livin”?

My brain dome casted a spell on me like a mage. No pizza toppings were on it realizing that I’m just a pawn. “Happy Day Oh Happy Day!”

I made a nice amount of money today! No one to share it with! I bought a suicide note, a gollon of whiskey and a loaded 38. Special revolver.

I got so damn drunk and cried so much! I forgot to off myself… Every time I turn on the TV. I see people smiling… Everytime I go outside… I see people dieing… I wanna smile to!

If I smile… People will think I’m out to kill or rob them! How the fuck can I kill you if I’m already dead… I’ll just barricade myself in my room instead…

Throw everything I have out the window! I mean nothing to anyone… So my stuff means nothing to me! Some say it’s a privilege to still breath… Maybe there right… Being accused of a disaster… I didnt come home for 18 months…

I spent holidays fighting! Getting high and eating cup of noodles in my bunk! Fuck you mean! Happy to breath! I inhale pollution to seeing my generation become extinct!

I’m not saying that I’m not blessed. Every day I’m learning the life of pain. Life’s insaine… Life in prison dreams envisioned. Waking up to being a prisoner in my own community…

The sad part is.. This shit ain’t even new to me! So I stay and deal with days of picking up shell casings. Some with peoples names on them.

“Chris… Why don’t you move”!?

To make that much money I’ll have to live till my 80s saving up. Why don’t you fucking help me instead of asking why I’m still fucked up….

Feed up! It’s hard for me to eat! I’ve died 15 years ago… Do you think anyone came to view me… Nope! I’ll just wipe off my bloody hand on my white T shirt and throw it away!

That’s a little of how I’m living…

I don’t think I ever lived at all…

 

9 Months Later

Baby boy made a bastard…

After taxes…

Daddy took that money from her than split!

Banana peals every where!

The boy just grew up hoping that he doesn’t slip…

 

 

He could never look other people in the eyes…

He did want them to see through the window in him…

They were really surprised to see him grab a pen!

Elixir ink revives the blank papers within him…

 

 

Talented!

Only with his fist…

Wanted dead or dead!

Bullets curved bodes and twisted!

Sold his soul just to resurrect his first love…

Tricked him running off with it…

 

 

She was shot in the chest and head right next to him…

 

 

The picture was a picasso!

When those demons painted it!

He tought grown folks how to survive…

Transformation from wimps to the most dangerous girls and guys!

Ever!

That’s it….

That’s all….

Give Me Your Simplicity

How Irresistibly sweetening your love is…

No lie!

I felt pain and criede out to be by you…

The truth is that I’m not use to it…

I’ve been used up and chewed…

Abused…

Immune to lies that divided…

Swined!

Please!

Granted is not what I would like for you to take me for…

Yet you tried!

Please!

I can’t handle another locked in captive to a cellar!

Another last last last year!

My tears will leak out plasma gas…

In the summer while it snows…

Explosions!

Please don’t hurt me…

So I can have a reason…

Your red magic is believable…

Energy solar powers love tantric…

A connection of intense intentions…

Do you phisically and mentally feel what I mean…

I just want to be…

The only spider that touches your water spout…

Warm deep Georgia peach that drools for me…

The heat draws you to me…

I can control motions like man made tornadoes…

I’m able to make happiness from scratch!

Bed rest more traquil…

Simple I am…

Never asking for much…

All of your healings…

By me…

A love so sweet…

Just don’t hurt me…

 

 

 

A Promise

To be continued….

I promised you I’d be right back! I guess I broke that promise! If I had a choice and it was up to me!

I wouldnt have even left the house that night! Trust and believe me! I would have came back home that night…

It wasn’t my call sweety! A call was issued for my fall! I soon fell back behind bars!

I hope you can just understand me… Held back your stars. Left you with bills… They even repossessed the car…

I understand why you wouldnt even except my collect calls. I just wanted to tell you I didn’t break my promise!

I loved you! Rumbling for our causes! I hope you can understand that! I hope you know that I was comming right back!

Remember… Your daughter was sick. I went to get her some medicine that night!

Then you called me while I was leaving from walgreens. You said you were hungry.

I asked you what did you have a taste for? You then psyed…  ” Can you go to Wendys”.

I said no probz! I’ll be home in 15mins! No lie… You waited up but that night faded into day time.

That night I never made it back home… It really wasn’t my choice though… I just wanted you to know…

I never went back on my promise…

Brand New #5 (the last one)

Now! There is something I’ve been dieing to get into. Obviously it’s not about my 8th grade math teacher….

But any way!

I would like to clarify for some people who are confused about this particular subject and what it really is and aint…

You have (HOPELESS ROMANTICS !)

You have people who say they are(HOPELESS ROMANTICS) yet they show no characteristics of this…. AT ALL!

“But….. what do you mean Chris?!”

Well I’m glad you fucking asked!

Let me break it down right quick…

A (HOPELESS ROMANTIC ) is someone that will try to fill you with so much joy. They try a little hard to be expected by the ones they love. They long for something real… Something that will last and shows there the one! (THE ONLY ONE! ) They will even put there lives on the line for there love!

Hopeless romantics are loyal… Some might even say clingy! I hate this word alot! Over affectionate!? We all need to be shown affection and love! (WE ARE HUMAN! ) (HOPELESS ROMANTICS) will make bad choice sometimes yet they won’t give up on true love. Aka… (THE ONE). Even if they say there done with it…  with love! Or they will continue to stick with him or her….

That’s my deffinition of (HOPELESS ROMANTIC)… OR JUST GOOGLE HOPELESS THEN ROMANTIC THEN MERGE THEM TOGETHER!

Please let me know if I’m rong…

Now!

You have the ones who say they are. Never showing any characteristics of a (HOPELESS ROMANTIC….) I absolutely love to sit back and expose these types!

This is what I like to call (THE! FAKE! HOPELESS! ROMANTICS!)

OOOHHHH YES!

The ones who says they are (HOPELESS ROMANTICS ) BUT I SAY THEY ARE HOPELESSLY CONFUSED! Lol.😂 I’m serious and every one that’s real can spot this by simply just listening to that phony and not even a good perpetrator at that…. This is the true definition of a hopeless poser! It’s not to much to say about these types. This basically explains it’s self. You feel me!

If you in fact are a (HOPELESS ROMANTIC… )

(A REAL ONE!)

Those fake ones… Stay thee fuck away from them! Oh… I’m sorry… I meant to say… (STAY THEE HELL AWAY FROM THEM!) These are the types that just don’t know what it is they really want..

(Love?)

(A relationship?)

(A pack of chewing gum?)

(Someone beside them when they wake up?)

(A one night stand?)

(A friendship?)

(To use you and abuse your loyalty then leave or show no interest but say there in to you?) This one I just can’t figure out yet… I’m still studying this.. I’ll let yall know when I come up with something.

I forgot this one to… The ones who say they want someone good for them and are interested in… however! They are still running behind a lost love. Some one who doesn’t give a shit about them till they want something… ultimately turning the fake romantic a stalker and doesn’t even no they are one…. They could be chasing a ex lover or a ex wife or husband. They may say things to you like they don’t deal with them like this or like that..

But you being the smart (REAL HOPELESS ROMANTIC! ) You already no what it is and what they are doing.

Bottom line is fake ones are just lieing, Using,  narcissistic,  assholes who only care about them selves!

TO THE TRUE HOPELESS ROMANTICS JUST KEEP ON GOING AND NEVER LOOK BACK… YOUR TRUE LOVE WILL COME TO YOU SOON! 👍😊

(This is called)

Extremely love tired…

Deprivation…

Under rugs of appreciation…

The tears never being replaced in…

Torn my soul in to two…

Good me!

Fuck it all me!

See…

I chose to give this my all!

Broken up roads and pot hole hear and there…

Love has left me in the dark wet alleyway…

Clinging to life barly!

Pissed on by bums!

Laying down on a soaked bed!

Lit on fire!

Happy just to be purified!

Though I am a survivor…

Shell shocked….

From real live murders…

Giving my self shards of false profits to eat…

Please!

Listen!

Learn!

Do not end up lonly like me…

(If you like or love someone… Just make shore they know what they really want… Before you fall face first deeply for them…)

Love you all and peace out!✌❤