Brand New #4

(No matter what)

I come first before others!

No one’s feelings matter but my own!

I’m not going to communicate back at all!

I want that person to always think there in the wrong!

I want you to hear my voice only when I’m making you feel dumb!

See…

I hate you only because I’m not you and as strong as you are!

I hate you because I hate myself!

I’ll never tell you that though…

I’d rather give you the run around!

Then to show you love!

I’ll never tell you that!

I’ll just silently make you look and feel bad…

Why?!

Because I’m selfish!!!πŸ˜ˆπŸ‘‰πŸ’”

……………………..

Awhhhhh Shit Chris!! You done started some shit hear! So the fuck what….

lol!

What do I have to lose when I’m already a two time loser… Naw… I just think alot of people now or days need to listen more then they talk before they put a good man or women down…

Now you managed to make someone that is already mentally at there low… The thing is that… This type of person needs more love then most.

Put downs!

Insults!

Bitter behavior!

Cuz this or that person never really communicates much of calls… Now maybe if you werent so selfish! You would pick up the phone and communicate with him or her. Text or calling…

See!

You never no what that other person is suffering from. Even though they conceal there problems and you dont. Just because this person is not a big talker. Doesn’t mean they are not dieing inside and as strong as you think on the inside.

Now let’s just use me for an example….

I’m not ashamed to say I have a multitude of mental health issues. Bottom line is I’m sick. But some people hear it but never take it in consideration. They just don’t under stand you or why you do what you do. They don’t even look at you as ill…

Now…Β  I only talk to a hand full or people. I feel like only one of those people really understand me. I don’t believe in friendship but this one person would be the true definition of a friend even though we don’t communicate much. We both have a life and responsibilities.

But when I talk to this person. I just feel the strongest connection that I’ve ever felt between enyone. I have alot of love for this person. But when I don’t call it’s not that I’m not thinking of the person. It’s just that I could be in the worst position mentally or even physically.

I’ve never ever been a selfish person. Every body that knows me completely. They no that all I do is give and respect those who respect me. I’ve looked out for whole neighborhoods…

Shit!

I got brothers and sisters that I only talk two once or twice a year.. They knowΒ  I love them and they know I’ll die for them. They all respect me for that. They know I mean well. They no I’m more phisical then mental. All these people I mentioned. They have my best intrest. They understand me… They simply listen more then they talk.

 

 

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Corny Right… I know

(I’m just giving all yall a heads up!)

(I was going to throw this one away 9months ago and I came across it just now.)

(This is by far the worst shit I ever wrote)

(I’m just warning you all! Lol.πŸ˜‚)

 

 

All day and night…

You tip toe through my thinking cap…

When I think of you I see me with you…

It’s truly unbelievable!

Seasons make me think of you…

I(fall)for you. I want and need and bleed for (summer) your loving. When things where cold in my life I (winter)you for warm kisses. To (spring)my ego into your ring of plesure that you bare only for me.

Corny Right!

I know!

I know that over time our love will grow. It will snow all over our warm cabin. Knitting together our future and prosperitys fabrics. Joining hands together.

You sit in front of me looking me in my eyes telling me you dont want nobody else but me…Β  You said to me if I can’t have that I’d rather die!

I told her! Over my dead body! Will I ever stop holding your hand! Your heart is mine and I’ll wear it tight like a tie!

I’m yours forever!

Ten hours later… We were found in our cabin… TheΒ local authority’s found us frozen together… My arms were still around her.

NOT FOR CHILDREN UNDER 18 / Pure Ice Cream Part 1/ Page 8- I Sentence You Two

Don’t ever release me from this altitude. I feel like that Home run ball. The one flying out of the park. Fenced in by clouds above.Β  Seeing Snow flakes before they form. The roller coaster fealing in me cought in a space ship.

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Lifting off to the most known unknown!

Orbiting out the end of spaces outer!

I want to be up in your inner space!

You make me feel….

A soothing high I never felt before!

Autumn is spring!

Changing my mood from bright red leaves…

To never leaving you…

You leave full riots and the aftermath!

In the mind tossing lit up fire bomb cocktails!

With our greatest memories attached!

In a sign thats soaked in the cherubs ink…

Our fire works display them selves…

Increasing it’s loud boom in our bed room!

Intence!

This is that rush you get when robbing a armored truck without even planning it!

Never even caring about the outcome…

Just going out with the tide…

Drifting with a smile…

Living in the most glorious moment…

Snatching bags off the truck fill with your love…

Till rich!

With a slick getaway to the bay…

Rising!

As we watch the sun set saying to each other we made it.

Now a toast…

Chanpagne Glasses clink…

The moon falls into the lake…

You take it while I take you…

To love and to hold forever!

If they ever do catch us…

Then I’ll bribe the state to put us in the same cell!

Together!

Rise my little jail bird!

Sing to me….

 

 

 

NOT FOR CHILDREN UNDER 18 / Pure Ice Cream Part 1 / Page 12- Tonight… I Smile…

Indulging…

In fair skin…

Nibbling on nipples stiff and pointed…

All in my faces direction…

Opening mouth…

Shopping spree…

My tongue bought everything…

Curves that hold on to my hands…

Tailor made by the world creator…

Diving into the fragrances of love making…

Yes!

Love making!

The solid thing grown folks put the children to bed early for…

Explorer…

Opening the front doors to that sweet candy shop I keep on hitting…

This hear ain’t no lust…

This is love right here!

😘 😘 😘 😚 😚 😘 😚

The best numbing cocain ever never even dehydrating us…

The land lord in between the tiger deeply…

Eating till toes curl completely…

Stay off your feet…

Bending you over…

Like your getting a spanking…

Well…

If you want me to…

Over XXX exposure…

Maximum pressure on the trigger pulling the lemon squeezed…

😚😚😚😚😚😚😘😘😘😘😘

Please!

Is something I never have to say…

You aren’t selfish indeed…

Dropping down to your knees…

Giving me the control over what I did not have to beg you for…

Thanks for giving me those keys!

Starting up growing the hard freeze…

There is no weakness ever in my needs!

Seas are warm…

Today the apparel I’m wearing is you…

Till you scream and shout…

“I cant”!

“I cant”!

Oh….

No No No…

Don’t start that now…

My name is the one you keep screaming out loud…

Yet…

You smile hard…

Breaking your jaw…

“Damn baby”!

You said…

Through your mouth in stutteringΒ  words…

Pulling me in closer to the audence…

That last scream out from deep out of you was so intense!

Bed sheets drenched from this blessed evening…

Then we lay on each other like two lions after mating season…

Happy with a side order of satisfaction…

You let go from gripping and squeezing my erection…

My sweet love of my love so sweet…

Submission of attention!

That was the definition of this feast…

Just me and you…

I love you…

And you me…

πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜šπŸ˜šπŸ˜šπŸ˜šπŸ˜šπŸ˜šπŸ˜šπŸ˜š

This Fantasy

I don’t want to write no more about love. Yesterday I seen violence that gave me zero tolerance. Unnecessary bullets flying over 51 dollars!

The choices burn wholes through my for head! There will never be a ending to this type of blood shed! Streets, blocks and acid drops from pages.

Running deep like the calming soul of a monk. High in the temples of strategic non confrontational warfare symbols. I don’t want to write about love no more…

After what I have experienced this whole week! That misguided women thats sleeping with my close associate! I know her man personally… We use to be cell mates out Jessup… I can’t believe how low she went!

I’m the type that keeps my mouth shut regaurdless. A lot of shit started! Me… I ain’t for it! Drama… I don’t adore it! I just got to ignore it…

After lecturing her as well as my blind disrespectful associate… I reached back my hand to mount Olympus…Β  Almighty Zeus was in the kitchen eating steak and spinach…Β  I slapped the shit out the both of them!

Ain’t Know hope in them… She cheated On a good man… An Him… Knowing her man and not respecting him or his self! Him… Know longer a close assciate of mine! Disloyal to me… I just will not tell…

I don’t want to write about love no more… Karma is a problem! With no lacking mercy. She’ll make you swallow the gun powder. Yes! With a aim that Never misses. Every time you think she won’t she’ll leave you crippled or a early dismissal with smoke.

The butterfly effect kicks in… The youth are hungry… Robbing for fruits of your labor. Hung from trees! Where no fruits are bared… Only the leathal injection from a not well planned home invasion…

Mistakenly murdering….

Only God can judge them…

Not a judge that plays God man…

I don’t want to write about love no more… Him… A thug… Her a whore… It’s not rite! Sometimes your going to be a sterotype! For doing what you got to do to feed your family at night!

The offspring of thugs and whores breading other young thugs in whores. To grow up and repeat the cycles. No love felt from these kids from anyone. Only there rifles…

Eather you’re a robber, drug dealer, prostitute or murderer. Maybe even all of the above… I see the glove didn’t fit. The crime did though! Over and over and over and over again till I fell off balanced from spinning!

The youth… The men and women misguided by that fast way of living. Money on a fishing hook dangling from a wire. Never reaching it. Selling your soul to get rich… Setting true love on fire!

True love now or days for the New generation as well as the last. Love will never eggxist to them… Making the next generation wild……

I don’t ever want to write about love no more… It’s eggxistance here died along time ago…….

Its just a fantasys….

Final!

 

 

 

 

I’m From L. N. G.

BOULEVARD GO HARD!!

That’s what they yelling out they cars!

This is the last time I’m doing this role call!

Edgewood, Midway, Springdale, Norfolk! They no who I is… They all no I ain’t no joke…

West forest park, Fairviw, Grantly, Garrison! Back then I use to pool with them eight balls… IT was the best! So I took everyone’s sales! So embarrassing…

Liberty heights, Chattam and Carsdale, Denison, North Hilton!

Scrambled boy in double O’s… Ready rock city! Were fiends panhandled at the gas station…

Callaway, Arydale, Wood Haven, Bonner Road!

Night walkers schemes… Strong arm robbery… Breaking and entering… Children with automatics with no safty on go mode.

Carlisle Avenue, Bateman Avenue, Alton Road, Piedmont Ave!

Girls and boys grown at the age of 14. If you can live past your 20’s you’ll be on that original gangsta raft.

Gwynn Falls, Ellamont Street, Cliftoff Avenue, Wallbrook!

Where you can get murdered for selling some one a skimpy bag of grass. Or possibly get ya shit took…

Powhatan, Hanlon Park, Allendale, Chelse Terrace!

Looking at somebody for more then 5 seconds… Bullets will certainly heat your ass like a furnace!

Fairfax, Oakfield, Kathland, Granada Ave!

Rest in peace! To all of my soldiers who ain’t comming back!

Main Ave, Berwyn ave, Egerton Rd, Dorchester!

A bunch of hard white and brown sugar sold on the corners. Or in the alley way giving out testers…

Berrington Rd, Sequoia Ave, Belle ave, Borman!

Kidnapped, tormented and tortured! Over white squares of a numbing agent. The young kids stole bikes from them Mormons.

West Cold Spring, Oakford Ave, Ridgewood, Fernhills!

Shoot outs wave hello in broad day. Police and Dt’s plus pepper spray. Ex pills, percect prescriptions, Xanax bars ad Unpaid bills…

Penhurst Ave, Eldorado, Belvieu, West belvedere!

Don’t trust no one! Most girls around her are everybody’s girlfriend. Bad, vicious Fights break out between boys when they find out she’s having intercourse with both. Whoever lost that fight. He’s comming back with gunz. Ya! Rite back there!

Groveland, Dole field, Elderon, Wabash!

White oak, Crestfield, Yosemite, Copley Rd!

Love does not exist! Traffic stops! Hand cuffs to tight! Wrist bleed Leving permanent scars! Snitches can’t even come back! The tattle tail told!

Wolcott Ave, Westchester, Miami Place, Fordney Lane!

Hot, abusive relationships left both men and women dead… Straight downtown to homicide. Or run catching a plain…

Grown men… We had more heart then them! Bullets flying like jiu jitsu kicks. Little girls sassy with there hands on there hips. Young boys at 8 years old on the corners selling loose cigarettes and weed on the strip.

“Holla at shorrty!”

“He got that diesel out yalll!”

“Big nicks!”

“Big nicks!”

Ain’t no picnicking or romance! First dates mean motels bought when fealing sexual and permicious…. There are library’s yet no books are being read. The kids only go there to use the Internet. To Facebook and Instagram beef… Where narcotics detectives can hit the block so quick! You will have to hold what you got! Or swollow those bags! When they grab you… Sometimes the will beat you bloody! Saying things like….

“Open your fucking mouth up!”

“Raise up your fucking tungue you little bitch!”

50 Dirt bikes on the streets… Tinted windows on the car comming down the one way street… looking real outta place and devious! That’s when pistols and asult rifles come out the tall grass. Those 223. And hollow point bullets tore there car in half…

Jack Daniels warm whiskey down the hatch.. All night after trap hours… Walked through the rong block I was followed.. He said to me…

“What hood you from!?”

They were apologizing and shook after I replied……..

“I’M FROM L.N.G!”

……….Thee End……

Shit that was alot of typing πŸ˜‚

 

 

 

Brand New #3

In one deck of cards…

I must be known as the joker…

A fool…

A clown…

A person that’s laughed at behind his back…

Ridiculed…

Well…

Sometimes…

That is exactly how I feel…

Being lead on is absolutely the worst… Its crazy how the people we chase afterΒ  drop your heart on the ground.Β  To Give you excuses on the reasons why they don’t want you. Then when they need you and no one else is there! They call… hmmm…. You can answer that…

Then you forget for a second that there is always someone chasing after you to! We do the same things to them! It’s the person who’s chasing you. You just may want to give him or her a chance.

For Example!

(John is chasing Keisha+ Keisha is chasing after Paul= the chaser being used by the person there chasing. For whatever reason…

Good conversation…

Someone who will keep your secrets…

Some one that is Mr or Mrs fix it…

Or maybe someone you call late nights because all the other men or women are not answer there phones… SoΒ you call the one person that you know for sure. The person that will come running to your every request…

But this is only your last optional person on your list! Yet the person that’s running to you is the one that will do anything you say….

Used…

Tell me I’m rong?

Somebody let me know please!

This is a on going cycle of bullshit that never ends and you never really pay attention to. These are people’s fealing! So on the second note… this could get out of control forming what the scientist’s callll!

A love triangle!

None the less… My grandparents always said… “If you chase after someone”. “You will get your clean (steppaz meaning shoes) shoes dirty”. Well as a child… I’ll admit that I thought they were crazy and I often didn’t know what the fuck they were talking about!

It wasn’t till I got in my teenage years. I then started to slowly understand what my grand parents were talking about.

THOSE OLD FOOLS WERE ALWAYS RIGHT!!!

LOL.πŸ˜‚

Now I ain’t no fucking love guru or something of that nature. I’m not saying go and give the underdog a chance. I’m simply saying pay attention. Maybe get to no and call or text or just a how are you… All I’m saying is

“Try Paying more attention to the one that is always behind you”….

The title of this is called….

“He/She Is The Art Of Illusion”

Look at you!

What are you doing!

She/he don’t want you!

You are just her/his toy! When used up… Or maybe a better modeled toy. The brand new one thats shiny and mesmerizing. This toy will replace you and be next up…

Now you are placed at the bottom of the toy chest. Now your suffocating at the buttom. Smother by all the old toys in the belly of the chest swallowed. Hey! Don’t you get mad at her/him! Be mad at yourself!

“That’s my baby”…

“That’s my lady/guy”…

Hey! You did this to yourself. Her/his ass belongs to someone else! So do not… Be mad… At her/him…. Be mad at your got damn self. Only fools fall for hugs….

 

 

 

Pure Ice Cream Part 1 / Page 7- Naked… Exposed… Unforgiving…

She would say…

“please!” ”

“Don’t leave me lonely! ”

She would tell me…

“Please come home and hold me!”

She would say…

“Please!”

“Just pick up the phone baby!”

She done said…

“please!”

“I know I was wrong baby!”

She has said…

“Please!”

Just come back home to me!”

Truthfully…

I’d rather be lonely…

Sentenced to invisibility from you…

Owning visions of me mentally…

Visions blurred…

Eye lids closed…

Reopen to see you be narcissistic…

In the mind…

Through optical lenses…

You’ve killed me more than once…

Maybe ten times…

Each time never resurrecting fully from each…

I’m still so destroyed…

Incomplete…

Desperate self construction…

I’m snatching off my sheets…

Exposing the nudity I feel…

For all to see…

For all to broadcast…

By open air waves…

While channel surfing the nightmares…

Seeing myself exposed…

I am on T.V…

I seen me…

What you’ve done to me…

It plays back the tapes over…

You know what…

Those mindless pill popping actions…

Not to judge…

I was never your man….

Until I would leave you alone…

I chained my feet to stone…

Through myself over the bridge you called my home…

Our home…

You never thought about me first…

So why do you want me nowΒ when I’m done and gone…

Leaving comming back as many times then whatever the end of infinity is…

Oh…

One last request before the coffin closes…

Keep all your fucking I need you baby bullshit to yourself…

While I just stay by myself…

Till my heart fully opens…

Again…

This Ain’t The Time

The fire art of my words witch craft and sorcery is taking a bath in Epsom salt. Just to wash away healing today with the bleeding rain of life’s disarray.

This ain’t no joking matter. Sometimes things don’t happen the way you plan them. Sometimes your worst nightmare can trasform into David banner.

Hulk smash! Big and green ripping apart your life like a rich mans greed and selfishness. Sending you to reatreat into the minds solitary confinement on feet.

Stay away from my home. My damn lawns negitivity! Or the last thing you will see is a muzzle flashing! From the forth of Julys amendment right.

Oh the silence after a victory. I’m still trying to win over my own individual personalities that cause me to be a terrorfying act in cold sleet.

This ain’t rocket science. All my people are dying! Like someone pulled the plug on all of your kitchen appliances.

If I had it my way…. I’d pull the plug on the judgement of ones perception of the other. There will be no life support. For those being born with a golden fork…

Everyone would be equal!

Don’t forget one thing! These size 12s! They ain’t yours! My rich famous heart of courage… Will soon open doors… What won’t open for me… Promises will be kicked down for my visons intensitys clairvoyance!

Brand New #2

(Now! Before I start… I just want to say.. I am not perfect… Yet I’m very fair and I pay close attention…)

 

 

 

The title of this is….

“Minnie Riperton”

I don’t have webbed feet. Finding myself by the Bay. I’m always swimming…

I’m verry good at seeing through the dirtiest prisms. It’s hard to float when I’m always weighed down by desicions.

Way down in the lower level part of the homicide buildings. They mentioned my government name in two separate murder killings.

From 2007 and 08… charges didn’t stick…

True or false? Everything I write is truth. Everyone I try to connect with is false.

…………………………………

Just like love doesn’t live here anymore. Neather do true lies and the fables they live in. I think it’s funny how…. Well… I’ve been the so called bad guy from 13 years old… To maybe 28 or so… I’ve always treated women and the women I loved with respect! Always though!

Those days…

Those days…

Those days…

I was a completely different person…

Most house holds I’ve lived in. There was always abuse. Even on both sides! Even mentally made to feel less than. Please… Don’t ask me why. Yet at the same time. I knew exactly what was going on.Till I got a little bigger and older.

Did something that I won’t regret. I didn’t want to see no more abuse ever! I saw this man beating his girlfriend up badly… I was furious! I didn’t want to get involved at the same time though. Then I said… Fuck all that! Bottom line is. Enyone can end up in this situation of abusive relations.

Male or female!

Being a prisoner in your own damn home! I was tought a little by self and alot by my grandparents. To alway love and care for your….

I say…….

Your women!

I always have… Yet sometimes you can be taken for granted and thats the red flag hitting you in the damn head! Me… I’m not bragging at all so please don’t think of this like I am. My self esteem is at its lowest right now so. Even if I wanted to brag. I couldn’t…

Anyways… I’ve never been dumped or told to just leave. Realizing I was always the one taking up for everyone else but who ever took up for me?

 

TO BE CONTINUED!