This Isn’t Self Pitying…

Hello self…

Your an idiot…

Seriously…

Your only occupation is…

Violence…

Timing…

Now balanced…

 

Before the sand dropped…

They said you were…

A walking massacre…

Eposodes display….

I feel there isn’t…

Enough Atonement for…

Hell is waiting…

Till I punch out…

That time card…

 

“Name your achievements…”

Ummm…

Shit…

I can’t think of none…

Turned wine into water…

I dropped that habit…

Bad habits like…

I gots to have it…

If I don’t…

I’ll take it…

 

The old design of a mad man…

I’ll hand Stand a…

Home made knife…

Into the faces of my…

Betrayers…

I hope that’s a word…

If not then…

Sue me…

Punctuation police…

 

I’m really not a wrighter…

I’m perpetrating…

I’m more of a title…

“Boo Boo the fool part 2”

I brought knowledge…

To a gun fight…

I won…

I wasn’t excited…

More wrong…

More harm…

 

The older guys said…

“What type of shit you on!”

Drugz…

Mugz of pain….

Filled chasing mind eraser…

Pathetically I find myself…

Back were I’ve started…

From…

 

I just can’t be…

What people want me to be…

A wise sage of savages…

Carving 7’s in lost heads…

7 laws…

Or I’ll break your jaw…

Idiotic I be…

No degree of sorts…

 

Leaving gun powder resin…

On hoody sleeves…

Running water for a shower…

In 5 minutes it’s cold again…

 

Shoulder scared from…

Who gives a damn…

I never be better then…

So…

Pass me that gun…

I’m ready to die for nothing…

Nothingness has always been my…

Dumbness…

So I’ll stay dumb then….

 

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Poppy Seeds Onto Bone Gristle…

Dealing death symbols…

Never delightful to be the victim…

Fleeing took flight…

Alien car light bright…

Loud over the bull horn…

Money lag bufforing…

32 shells loaded into a tec 9…

By a child high…

One eye out for one eye…

The third eye was killed in battle…

Picked the body up rattled…

Riddled…

Shaking and tattered…

Screaming…

 

“GOD WHY!?”

“WHY LORD!?”

 

Heart Attack

Concealed the feelings I have for you…

Just like you wanted me to…

 

Feelings don’t matter when war is envolved…

This war I feel I can’t solve…

 

Do I give up on what I want?

Do I let go of who I know?

 

Is this a lesson or some trick?

To see how long I can hold out on this…

 

Will I just give up…

Or just let it be what it is…

 

I can want…

All I want…

 

What I want…

Will never want me…

 

So honestly…

I choose to move on quietly…

 

 

Quiet walk back to where I stared. All those months ago. I know I actually don’t deserve a chance. Chasing after a chance will only make your white shoes dirty. Your love I want to be my dietary supplement. Fuck it! It’s been to damn long…

So what do I do?

Stay in pain…

Rejected…

Or do I move on….

In your quilitys…

If I’m not worth it to you….

Then I’m gone…

 

Till no view……

Let Me Exit

I don’t want to be your hostage…

Loving me enough to hurt me…

You don’t love me enough to let me leave…

 

I don’t want you no more…

You just make it seem like it’s me…

Calling me 200 times in one day…

You know I’m right around the way…

 

You can litterally walk out your house…

Walk two blocks down…

To see me…

You can be out all night not calling…

If I did that…

You’d be boiling…

hot!

 

Yet you forgot…

You like to turn your no goods into…

Me being un-trustworthy…

One thing I want to say is…

Why do you stay with me?

 

No answer…

Well!

I’ll leave!

Behind me you grab…

You came running…

 

Texted!

1000 sorrys per text…

500 hundred mean things said…

300 I’m going to kill my selves…

100 well fuck you thens…

 

Me!

Absolutely no replies…

 

I took my cell phone….

Broken it up five time…

Then I sayed good by…

Why do you want me?

At home telling everyone….

Some lies……..

150 Prof Scotch Tape

Sky yellow…

Tempting me to fly…

Aginst the ropes by your thighs…

Sings to sleep…

Me…

 

Questions I don’t want to ask..

I’ll watch as they reveal there selves…

Linen frown feeling great…

On your bare skin…

Swan dive into purification…

Did I catch the fish?

 

Wondering…

What drives you to smile…

I always crash trying…

Your body is in my custody…

You’ve turned yourself in…

You came out quietly…

Surrendering…

Da Choppa!

Dah- Chop- pah…

Hood Definition: a AK 47 assult rifle, or any assult style rifle.

“Can you say it in a sentence please…”

he grabbed the “Da Choppa” and pulled the trigger.

 

Last night I heard the sweet symphony of Da Choppa… Everything got so quiet that. You could here him/her chock the rifle back again and shoot… I love it! I hope know one was killed by Da choppa.

 

Made your point on point with that…

Thing…

Clean, beautiful and full of rage…

If it falls into the hands of a manic…

I could be very deadly where your at…

I was 16 or maybe 17 when I found my first one…

Left out in the grass by a abandoned house…

Finders keepers that kept me safe with low mileage…

This was purely for family protection…

That thing was very powerful…

 

 

 

Straight Up Depression

The original copy of. The mental pistol whipped in the head. Hairline fractured softly.

Do I want to live?

Do I want to die?

Die in this!

Pointless!

Pointless!

Errors birth right!

Sick riiiggghhhttt…………………

 

Driving my truck in stuck. Parked got out to walk into traffic. A post mortem morgage that I cant pay no longer. I don’t bother…

 

Aginst the wall upside-down, down and down. No following in may as well. Suggestions on what you think I need to do. Pushing on makes me want to kill myself more. There is a deep, deep place of peace in me..

Self burning down the past, present and future. Along with a picture of me smiling. After my fifth grade graduation. Bad times early! Left broken blood vessels! outside and on a child’s woes vessels!

Toes wiggling less from the rope manufactured. While legs keep dangling. No one heard me fall… Everyone was there.

 

No love…

No job…

Not Christian…

More criticism…

Mind of hatred…

Heart full of doubt…

Hatian blood…

Ex con…

Please never ask me about my family!

Sick…

Needing a hug…

Maybe a for head kiss…

No education…

High risk…

No sence…

No one gives…

They take with a smile…

Using love to lurer me in…

Do I look like a small child?!

Fuck love…

Fuck you…

Fuck him…

My boots float on top of brackish water in the lake. Low life welfare, project, section 8 peace of shit! Sticking around for why… Eating the same shit! Seeing the same kind of killings! Shoot outs on the strip! Everybody struggling just to eat and make rent! Looking into the eyes of a kid saying……

“He’s going to become a killer one day…”

“I hope love finds him some day…”

“No one in the childs house all day…”

“Will he just take his life one day…?”

 

“Sorry kid…”

I just don’t have the money. Fuck am I living for. When all my eyes see is ugly

Lifes great ain’t it…………

 

 

From Behind The Gates Into Great Things. Lord Knows I Came A Long Way.

“I was like damn!”

“I got a phone call from one of my brothers in the penitentiary up north.”

“We where talking and out of no where he said….”

 

A yo!

How the fuck are you still alive?

 

“I laughed a little bit. Got ticket off at the same time. I paused for a minute and before I could respond…” The guy behind him next up for the phone said…

 

THAT MF IS A GLADIATOR YO!

That’s why!

 

 

 

From the seed planted…

Into the womb…

A unique seed grew…

A quiet sunflower…

Doomed to…

What he never asked for…

Never knew he’d  take those late beatings…

Hiding till seeked…

From the beast…

Early teenage years he found his feet…

He told his self…

“This is the last!”

“The last time that enyone!”

“Puts there hands on me again!”

 

School fights…

Territorial fights…

Lots of drug money…

Gave me my first conviction…

Death, dark concentrated into a jug…

Released its way up my sleeve…

No one ever ruled over me……

 

☝”I don’t like this I typed.”👆

“So I won’t finish it……”

“Starting over…”

 

 

 

 

I’ve lived!

I’ve Died!

I’ve fought!

I’ve tryed!

 

I won’t be stopped or derailed!

I’m the young king Tut with…

Snakes heads cut up…

Eyes plucked out…

You will not take my life!

If you try…

I’ll take you with me…

Gargling wet concrete…

I spit out a statue of the child I was…

Treated lest than…

Abused physically and Beat on…

That’s why I crave so much love!

Well use to…

Now I’m more expensive then…

The contract on a contract killer…

Man with many names…

Dog tags snatched from hood generals…

How did you think I would grow up?

When mom said…

“You got to leave he doesn’t want you here.”

Held tears in on that cold porch…

Drop one tear then kept it moving…

Long story I refused it…

Drugs I often abused them…

Money…

I made alot…

Till I got hot like Tater tots…

Double back with fire…

Hopped out on foot shooting targets…

I became a gladiator…

The streets were my parents…

I’m now proud to say…

Those days…

Over…

 

 

 

 

 

Enyone Have A Spare

They hear…

Declaring there blood sacrifices…

Souls sold for a way out of poverty…

Somersaults into my own past scars…

Hearing the same car crash in the curcomfrence…

Nothing is ever around till they need…

Once they take…

They take off wind blow sounds…

I’m little now like before…

Making my own wars…

Bleeding old self bleeding…

 

 

Old love life was a board game…

Played by outside mumbles…

Don’t lie to me…

I said to a hand gun…

Chairs broken…

I hated how they were looking…

pointing at my black ravens grave yard…

All the good in this world…

Should help you…

Not critically force you…

 

 

I live it how I wanna die…

Fucking spies……..

 

 

Lake Side Cubicle

Go on

Reach with me

If you can grab it

You need to hold it

Tight

All night

Its is real

Let it heal you

Make it be what you breath for

Either or

You and me

can

Walk in the

Dark

That’s what we like

Free solitude within

Each others confinement

Pictionary

Covenants that can

Never be broken

In this mental hell realm

Through after life

The answer is us

We love sitting in the darkness