Oh Catastrophic

“Oh Catastrophic”

“Like us !”

Don’t dress how we use to.
Don’t keep our self up like we use to.
Don’t do things like we use to.

This is beyond depression…
Inside spirit a hollow oak tree…
Bound to a ships…
Anchor…

War inside…
No choice but to survive…
They all suggested instead…
That I…
Instead of just listing to I…
“Everybody feels like this sometimes…”
Is what’s been said

Like yoga and breathing technology will be the end all…
Please shut the fuck up!
This can’t be helped…
Sedate me…
With A mega dose…

I’m far beyond your reality…
Irritated response comes off as hatred…
Naw…
I just hate being me…
My mind comes off as vacancy…
It’s just a rundown trap house…

It’s just so full…
Of many things like raging pain in tall viles suffering, sins, stress and struggling…

To comprehend this life…
This fowl bitch ain’t for us…
It’s only designed for them…

You don’t think like me…
Move like me…
Get tired of trying to prove like me…

Stuck in quick sands open belly…
Up to the neck barely breathing…
Stop!
Don’t make a camp fire out of my…
Forest fire….

You ain’t me…

I’m not you…

My face looks like it’s stuck on violent… When it’s stuck on problems…
Ones that can’t be solved in…
A hard back dictionary…
Clinging to nonfictinary…

Why must I fight myself to end…
As a quotation after the exlimation…

Mark…

I struggle like no other…
Like a failed mission or a unfinished… Kitchen…
Black droors without utensils…
I’m tense all over…
In every sense…
Back tured counter clockwise from happiness…

Fuck it…

Exhaustion…

Stop breathing…

A nobody…

Will only be my legacy…

No one notices as human…
Us!

So they can’t miss who or what they never perceive…

Incurable…

“Like us !”

Don’t dress how we use to.
Don’t keep our self up like we use to.
Don’t do things like we use to.

This is beyond depression…
Inside spirit a hollow oak tree…
Bound to a ships…
Anchor…

War inside…
No choice but to survive…
They all suggested instead…
That I…
Instead of just listing to I…
“Everybody feels like this sometimes…”
Is what’s been said

Like yoga and breathing technology will be the end all…
Please shut the fuck up!
This can’t be helped…
Sedate me…
With A mega dose…

To Audition For Solar Energy

Potential
Increased
Slight
showers
Down
On this
QUEEN..
Down to Her
sunshine..
I..
Am..
Forced
To yield..
From
the brightest..
Gleam..
And
Into the flames..
Of lightning..
My eyes from
Behind my
Eyes lids..
Snatched
Them quickly
Blinded..
I’m not afraid..
To touch
The polit
Light..
The
enticing
sun’s
beauty…
The rays have
Grazed my
endorphins..
Till I’m
Fully
engulfed in
Her smile..
Nope..
No choices..
A wild
fires a
forming..
A triangular
earth…
My heart
pounding
From the
Hips rotation..
Three
hundred
sixty degree..
Triathlon..
In her eyes
My Words are
trapped..
Not..
Gone..
On contact..
No preservatives..
Fresh..
Organic..
Resurrection..
Savory..
Insightful..
Stifles..
My..
Perceptions..
her minds..
Unsaid Times..
I’m upset
Dying to..
See one last
Smile..
past in
My dirrection..

Locomotive Locksmith

Through my teeth.
I exhaled my strong self-esteem…

Warm air On the back of
Your neck…

No resistance…

I’m what you were
Missing…

My experience…

Hard Like wood cabinets…

Maybe like brass knuckles…

Let your Lips glistening
Like some lacker… Spreading…

Acrylic strong, vibes,
Good vibrations on
Time…

I Rubbed my stomach…

Entertainment in
for the mouth… More
Play… List…

This ain’t for play…
Rained all day
Down drapes…

A reservoir…
Shows its showers
Before the forecast…

The flowers stimuli… Dipping
Into the vase…

Model Venus…
Breaking the modem…

I couldn’t control my router…

Your soft aggression…

Undeniably…

Spitting like a cobra.
Till… The throat is filled like…

A glass of water

Protein…

Outbursts like Tourette’s…
Syndrome… Fell over

The spot like a… Comb
Over…

Flipping dirty buns in boyshorts
By hand… Spreading….
Like butter…

I can’t believe it’s not…

New angles given…
Your feet a occupational
Position…

My human instincts became…

Well…

Questionable…

Letting the beast out…
Slipping into a cloud…

Show the pipe a slice…
No mainstream artwork…
We just nasty matching nasty…

Bite size creativity sleazy, but
It creates those fabrics
That wont break a bond of order…

The kingdom understanding
No ocward…. Ness….

Bare with me
Till I charge back up…

Black Merc 0202-0-16

Lately I’ve been

drifting.

My old structure

of strict militant ways.

Don’t know how

long before.

I’ll be consumed

by the flames.

The past be the

past.

Glued stuck to my frustrated

psyche.

Being bound to

something worst.

Confused that sometimes

the worst deeds can set you

Free.

Mind filthy, rotting away off

The bones of my

decaying last good memories.

Life’s snap shots of

seconds of smiles and laughter.

Then Jokes become

sloppy.

The laughter becomes

annoying.

Reality kicks into

Dissipated smiles.

The heart is distantly

colder like a halleys Comet.

As I rapidly forget short

Small numbers and sentences.

I won’t die…

I’m dieing slowly along

the way.

Experiencing that first hand

failure to control crashing

Into ashes.

Warped feelings overdosed, lusting

for violence and gun powdery

children’s cereal.

Maybe inching instantly

towards a whole

solid insanity plea.

Watching humans devour there

nurturers and there nurtured.

A thick book deal guide through

corruption, scams,

set ups and confusion.

More and more I

Aggressively drift back

into that.

Predictably same facial

expression that never changes.

No matter the emotion, excitement

Happyness of whatever

Joy is.

My face will always look

The exact same.

My face stays stuck trying

to comprehend.

Why everyone looks

at me like I’m a stone.

Maybe I am one to

Think of.

I fail the try outs…

Then become more

upset that I pathetically try to hard.

Or is just never close

To enough.

All humans are born with

A heart’s worth of emotions.

Yes that is fact…

What do you call a human

That has to program there self to?

Feel it….

Or know when to receive it…

Reciprocate it in a way to

Trust the other.

Note that it’s not always

Out to break you or kill you.

From the inside out…

I feel less and less emotions

like when I was younger.

My emotions are plumiting

Stocks all over again.

A very bad investment…

Back to who I was not

supposed to been.

The rebirth of chaos is

about to began.

I can feel it..

It’s me…

I am chaos…

The second coming…

Is on the way…

Free Us…

So we will be one with our former self…

The form of a poker face…

Dead from With in…

The Black Mercury……..

Shea Butter

My intro wore your body

out like the latest

fashions…

Capsules in tattoos,

Brain washed by

Someone so called taboo…

Someone I
Spy, that’s brown
Skin through
My glasses…

Crowned by

Your influence,

To Shine gold sunz

over me…

Jewel of the

Smile only

motivates

My Integrity…

Lables of silk

Stampede all
Over your figure…

I figured out,

If I stay on your

Heels, then

You will make
One man…

The fool of all
That is real…

Untied, tounge

Out like unlaced

Sneakers…

Funny that I,

Peep us, more

Then you could
Ever…

I can write

A courious

About
My Visions on
Loop…

Yet, visions can

Be very scary
When you can see
Beyond the future…

The truth…

On self, I pray that I
Don’t place a
betting…
chance

With a Russian

Rulete mind

Frame…

For I know, that at

At the end, I’d

Be the one shot
In the head…

With no chances

Of surviving…

When love at first

Write, is a pen
On paper.

Out of control.

The odds of me

Surviving Having

A hole in my

Head.

Is a metaphor

For trying to find

A soulmate

that will

Never end.

Without us…….

“700th Post!”

I think it’s crazy how.

I’ve lasted so long.

No face in the mud.

No bullets in my back.

No more selling crack.

I cracked my knuckles

Before I’ll ever fumble my

Life.

I’ll get pushed

Down by some badges.

Searched up.

beaten down!

Naw!

never me!

I made it clear

That I’d shoot first

Before they ever bury

Me!

I’ll sleep awake!

So no one can take

My dreams.

I’ve grown here.

A month before I

Started typing on

WordPress. I was

Fresh up out the

Can. Throwing away

My I’d badge.

Damn!

House raided again!

Two

Days after. I was back

In jail. then questioned.

Almost violated parol

Into probation. Came home

Again to see my younger

Brother.

He gave me the

Referral to refurbish

My life. Then he said to

Me.

“Tell your story!”

“Well don’t tell them everything?!”

“Man wtf!?”

“Just type in!?”

“You don’t know how to!?”

“Damn it!”

“Just write and I’ll type it!”

I’ve been on here ever since.

700th BABEEEEEE!!

A negro still here!

Thanks for all the support, loves and encouraging words!

Peace and blessings to you all!

For Normalization

Bear with me…

I was never good with
Words. That’s why I
Barely spoken.

I knew what i wanted
To say. Then when my mouth
Opened. The words
Came out persecuted by contradiction.

I just want to be…

I’m not… I never will
Understand my ways
Or how I feel. Split
Personality, so we
Just talk to each other.
I know if I talk to myself
No one would make fun
Of or judge him….

Me…

You see…

I know this makes no
Sense. I forget numbers,
Dates, small things.
I struggle….
Every address I lived
I can only remember one of the numbers.

Bear with me…

I know I don’t make sense…

So frustrated, embracing,
Alone, sad, madness. All the
Sorrows with titles. Quotes
Like Scripture from the bible.

King James…

I’d rather gaze into
80 percent of the
Quran.

Maybe someone linked to a prophet…

Maybe a May bee sweating over honey.

I picked up a gun
Before a book. Didn’t
Learn to read till I was a
adult.

All praise due to
The Almighty. Blessing
Me with a paper and pen.
Yet they still don’t here me.
Like they never understood
me then…

They say I speak in
Riddles soo…

Riddle me this…

Decode my words!
Behold the thought!
When teeth don’t show!
That means my pen
Will be a tattoo needle for
Exposure!

My woes will be jotted!
You could snort them
In lines then!

Try to..

Bear with the two headed
Viper crying! Some
Thoughts crippled
Till my mind has delayed
Then deleted!

All I ask is for you to bear with me…

Believe it……..

Big Facts 400

Indictments! now the truth
Comes out.

My name is my
Name.

Yet I hid
From my own
Doubt.

Federal

No no no!

Investigations are gone!
                        So so long!

Now I can give…

Asia pronounced!
“I ja”

Yes, I hate my Name but, what true is real…

Can’t be excused.

Nore do I have to
Explain my Damn
Views.

It feels good to
Be back
Here!

Now let me
Lay back. Take off my
Shoes off.

I apologize
For not being
Honest.

For a reason!

Deeper….

Little explanations!

Understood only by those
That understand.

To keep my
Ass
Out of that iron
Vacation.

No sliding doors
For me. No Damn bars to hold me…

I hope you agree.

If not…..

Go back to the beginning
of me and re-read…

Now I will pay my respects to
Those who ain’t make it to 2021…

R.I.P

L. Turtle

C. James

Patricia b.

Kenny

Yawl

Cali

Avon

H. Rodney

Makk

M. Wilson

If I forgot some.
I’m sorry.

Justice will be
Survered
For y’alls
Murders

Happy “you” years to all!

A Chefs Thesis

A chefs thesis

Moving hills…
I need some…
Dramamine…
to smooth…
out these bills…..

Inhumane folk tails…
I can be to…
like Pecos Bill…
I’m…
Built to sabatoge…
lives…
That how I feel…….

Live from…
David’s shield…
No weapons formed…
Against me will……..

I might go crazy if I relapse off. The smells of fear on the upper tiers. praying for my enemies. They know not nothing of how I was built. Or how things can get real. Prices up and down like broken digital scales. That’s life so…. Keep it moving or give ’em hell! No obligations! They say we are bad influences. To raise our boys to become men. Well……. How the fuck can they become men? Our world is a Ghetto. Not letting anybody walk in or leave out. Ghettos of the world, slums, beat up stray cats and loose dogs. Survival is what is tought before we could even tie our shoe laces up! I want our people to live free! To breath fair air! To drink water that’s clean. Kick bad habits that plague our broken dreams. It seems to inhabit the planet. To witness to habitats we damage. From see men and women slaughtered! Raped, robbed or tortured!
To all my slums and ghettos in the world! places going to war over territory’s that are there’s. Politics and drugs! Hunger can turn people into gangsters and thugs. The only gangsters we know are the founders, the worst police and crooked judge’s!

Listen!

I don’t give a fuck if you from

Yemen
Eastern Europe,
Sudan ,
Palestine,
Thailand or India,
Uzbekistan, Pakistan, Kazakhstan
All the stans,
small towns in Russia,
Uganda, Nigeria,
Tanzania, Madagascar,
Toronto, Alberta, Newfoundland,
Nunavut territories.
Detroit, Baltimore, chi town,
new York and buffalo,
New Brunswick, southcentral,
watts, Inglewood,
Compton California,
Mexico, Venezuela, Brazil
Haitian or Cuban,
Jamaican
Trinidad & Tobago,
Peru, West Indies, puterico,
South africa, Somalia,
Iraq, Iran, Israel,
Mongolia,
Afghanistan,
Cuba,
Germany,
Southeast D.C,
Virginia,
Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Tampa,
Orlando,
The Turkish,
Indonesia,
The whole world has slums and ghettos! Let us Unite with each other!
For the future of the children, our wellbeing, our families if we have them!
More…
More…
More…

Oh No’s

I can honestly say that.
I’m seriously indecisive.

Yet,
when I fully commit to
something or someone.
it can become a crisis.
The hardest critic is myself.
Yes it’s true.

Various mental issues
that plague my view.
Getting Tangled in past unpaid
Dues.

I’m realising that the same
People who try instilling positivity.
Are Condoning these new ways.
To be offended By people. Who don’t understand there offending you.

Fuck! I’m tired!
Fuck you and ya mama!
I can’t stand humans and there
phony mottos to live by but won’t
Die by what there trying to
Live for.

Falsified explanations.. excuses why not to do this Or say that.
Why not to believe in this or that.
The blind lead the blind mah’ fucka!
Don’t you believe in that.

Just because it sounds like it’s true don’t mean that it’s right.
Like being in a relationship and your partner believes. Every
Thing they single friend says is right.

Right?!
Bitch Wrong!
I’m so far beyond your
comprehension that.
I already know the shit y’all be on.
Next time I take advice. It will be
from the earth, not a pilgrim.

What lives matter?
Shut the fuck up!
Those white folk had
Me facing 40yrs plus! for defending
Myself!

Shut up!
Let me finish!
I say this right here!
I “Mr Thomas” solidly, solemnly swear I will never write about
Love and old love affairs.
Till the earth burns on its axis and explodes. from
Global warming ignored.

Atlest I know I wont be the only
Person to burn in a hell. Ain’t no
Self-defense laws for negros.
For the record………
Fuck you all I’m already dead!
Lol!
Fuck the love you know
If it’s true love you never had.

Life….. Or…… Death…..