Oh Catastrophic

“Oh Catastrophic”

“Like us !”

Don’t dress how we use to.
Don’t keep our self up like we use to.
Don’t do things like we use to.

This is beyond depression…
Inside spirit a hollow oak tree…
Bound to a ships…
Anchor…

War inside…
No choice but to survive…
They all suggested instead…
That I…
Instead of just listing to I…
“Everybody feels like this sometimes…”
Is what’s been said

Like yoga and breathing technology will be the end all…
Please shut the fuck up!
This can’t be helped…
Sedate me…
With A mega dose…

I’m far beyond your reality…
Irritated response comes off as hatred…
Naw…
I just hate being me…
My mind comes off as vacancy…
It’s just a rundown trap house…

It’s just so full…
Of many things like raging pain in tall viles suffering, sins, stress and struggling…

To comprehend this life…
This fowl bitch ain’t for us…
It’s only designed for them…

You don’t think like me…
Move like me…
Get tired of trying to prove like me…

Stuck in quick sands open belly…
Up to the neck barely breathing…
Stop!
Don’t make a camp fire out of my…
Forest fire….

You ain’t me…

I’m not you…

My face looks like it’s stuck on violent… When it’s stuck on problems…
Ones that can’t be solved in…
A hard back dictionary…
Clinging to nonfictinary…

Why must I fight myself to end…
As a quotation after the exlimation…

Mark…

I struggle like no other…
Like a failed mission or a unfinished… Kitchen…
Black droors without utensils…
I’m tense all over…
In every sense…
Back tured counter clockwise from happiness…

Fuck it…

Exhaustion…

Stop breathing…

A nobody…

Will only be my legacy…

No one notices as human…
Us!

So they can’t miss who or what they never perceive…

Incurable…

“Like us !”

Don’t dress how we use to.
Don’t keep our self up like we use to.
Don’t do things like we use to.

This is beyond depression…
Inside spirit a hollow oak tree…
Bound to a ships…
Anchor…

War inside…
No choice but to survive…
They all suggested instead…
That I…
Instead of just listing to I…
“Everybody feels like this sometimes…”
Is what’s been said

Like yoga and breathing technology will be the end all…
Please shut the fuck up!
This can’t be helped…
Sedate me…
With A mega dose…

4 thoughts on “Oh Catastrophic

  1. I don’t know your name anymore. Asia. I like it. One thing about your poetry: it’s full of emotion!
    In 2018 I was so close to suicide that when I started to compose a note I realized there was no way the note would be good literature. As writing, it sucked! So…I gave up on suicide. I got on anti depressants and within ten days the depression was gone. I don’t care that it took a drug. I cherish every minute of these days. I’m 73. I’m playing music. I’m so glad I didn’t off myself. Your “black experience” is the real deal, man. You voice the despair. It hurts to read. Ironically, that’s good. It SHOULD hurt to read. Grab every tool you can. Don’t be an inverse snob. Do the therapy, do the meditation and yoga. DO THEM! They’re just tools. You have to save yourself. Only you can. There…I’m done. “Sedate me with a mega dose” equals “Kill me”. Don’t die, my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I read this again today. I thought I’d never read it before. Obviously I had. I told you about my experience. I hope you feel better, soon. Do what you gotta do.

    Liked by 1 person

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